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Recent content by jtab7800

  1. jtab7800

    From a heart that has never found its way in the world

    Got the results of my biopsy a couple of days ago. They didn't find any cancer, so that's a relief. Now I can focus on getting my life together, if I can.
  2. jtab7800

    From a heart that has never found its way in the world

    Got my biopsy done. Now I'm just waiting for the results, which I likely won't know until at least this coming Thursday. As for my mother and I, things have gotten a little bit better with us recently. She's been showing signs over the past month of doing better. She does love me, and she's...
  3. jtab7800

    From a heart that has never found its way in the world

    I don't know if anyone will read this, but I've been wondering if life's worth living for someone in my situation. I've got no choice but to let my entire life stay lonely because no woman on this Earth wants me, or could ever want me, because I feel like none see me as being just as human as...
  4. jtab7800

    From a heart that has never found its way in the world

    I don't know if anyone is going to reads this or not, but I truly feel like I'm alone in the world, and being alone is one of my two biggest fears, the other being a fear of death. If you combine those two fears, it's beyond terrifying. Now try to imagine what kind of fear my medical scare adds...
  5. jtab7800

    From a heart that has never found its way in the world

    I'm sorry I haven't been on here since Mother's Day. I'm currently going through a medical scare, so it feels like things keep getting worse for me. To be honest, I've always wanted to do something with my life, instead of being nothing, like I have been so far in my life. I haven't really...
  6. jtab7800

    From a heart that has never found its way in the world

    This is not an angry message, and I'm not referring to anyone in these forums, but it's from a person who's been emotionally beaten up enough to be pushed to the edge. I always knew it was never likely for me to have anyone in my life, under any circumstances whatsoever. Things have gotten worse...
  7. jtab7800

    From a heart that has never found its way in the world

    With the day I'm having today, of all days, on Mother's Day, I can tell you that Earth, in my case, is an impossible place for Aspies to be happy in. I feel like my mother is against me on so many things, unless they happen her way. She makes me feel like everything has to be her way or the...
  8. jtab7800

    Introduction from

    I agree with you on a lot of things. And I would never inflict domestic violence on anyone, because that's not who I am. What I said, though, was that I wrote a song that's against domestic violence, and it encourages people to love instead of hurting each other. The song was inspired by a...
  9. jtab7800

    From a heart that has never found its way in the world

    I'm finally back on here. It's been a bad week that I've been trying to get through. I'm not angry or anything, and I know that people who reply to my posts don't have any bad intentions. I'm dealing with depression caused by my circumstances, and it hurts. This post is a reply to the last two...
  10. jtab7800

    From a heart that has never found its way in the world

    I'm sorry about not being on here in a few days. My mother, my younger brother, and I have been out of town for a few days, and we got back a couple of nights ago. I can say that I'm not exactly young. I'm 48, and there's still nothing but unbearable loneliness. I'll be 49 in November of this...
  11. jtab7800

    From a heart that has never found its way in the world

    I'm finally back on these forums after about a month and a half, and I joined two months ago. I had initially posted in this thread. Someone on that thread complimented my writing, but my words come from my heart. I spent a long time trying to figure out how to put my feelings into words, and I...
  12. jtab7800

    Introduction from

    Hopefully. But sometimes, in my experience, that can be easier said than done, especially for someone on the autism spectrum.
  13. jtab7800

    Introduction from

    Hey. I hadn't realized that I actually clicked the send button while typing my message. I thought I'd lost what I was typing, and I didn't realize until today that I had actually sent the message. What you see in my profile pic is supposed to reflect my love for music, and the fact that there...
  14. jtab7800

    Introduction from

    I'm a little nervous about introducing myself, but here goes...I was diagnosed with Asperger's in 2002, when I was a few days away from my 28th birthday. It was only recently that I found out that in 2013, experts stopped calling it Asperger's, and started referring to it as ASD (Autism Spectrum...
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