Here we go, second entry in this journal!
What do they say? It takes 21 days to create a habit?
Or was it more days?
I personally think, that for me it will take a whole lifetime to create a habit. Yes, I'm THAT stubborn.
It's not really because I want to be stubborn, but changing my routine is SO HARD once I have an established way of living my day, adding new things becomes complicated. Changing one tiny thing in my routine will change my routine completely.
Maybe it's a me thing, maybe it's part of how my brain works, why couldn't I get a normal brain and not this faulty thing that I got? If only I could open up my head and fix the wiring somehow.
Anyway
Been thinking about happiness as of late, about how I expect it to appear and show its smiley face and rainbow hair when I achieve a goal.
But... maybe I'm looking at it from the wrong perspective?
I mean, shouldn't I be feeling happiness daily? Because, well, good things happen daily... don't they?
For example, today I forgot my lunch, BUT Ro showed up randomly in the shop and brought me some leftover lasagna (he makes some GOOD lasagna), and that was a good thing! That made me happy, him saving my butt like he often does.
Why did I forget my lunch? Well, I may (or may not) have stayed up playing video games, and I may (or may not) have missed my alarm and gotten late to work.
At least I made it in the nick of time! Bob was already inside the shop but didn't say anything (phew).
Anyway, maybe I shouldn't wait for happiness when something big happens.
Maybe happiness is meant to be felt little by little each day and not while I wait for big events to happen.
Maybe I should focus more on the little good things that happen to me and often ignore, rather than only focusing on the bad things that make me sad (which I do a lot).
What else?
It was Bob's turn to play music in the store, and I had to survive listening to "The Beach Boys" all day. I never really liked them because they're so... ugh... happy?
But I survived the onslaught of cheerful music, YAY!
Unpacked a few boxes of vinyls we got and put them on the shelves and, guess what? My copy of "Past Time" by Grass Widow finally arrived. I am listening to it right now, as a matter of fact.
So good!
Now that I think of it, a few nice things happened to me today in spite of being late to work (presumably) and forgetting my lunch.
It seems like focusing on those things is making me feel a bit happier than I was feeling. Even my intrusive thoughts have changed from "I'm so stupid" to "Hey, this was nice!"
New challenge: Focus on the good more, Luna.
Well, I don't think I have much left to write about, so... goodnight, journal.
What do they say? It takes 21 days to create a habit?
Or was it more days?
I personally think, that for me it will take a whole lifetime to create a habit. Yes, I'm THAT stubborn.
It's not really because I want to be stubborn, but changing my routine is SO HARD once I have an established way of living my day, adding new things becomes complicated. Changing one tiny thing in my routine will change my routine completely.
Maybe it's a me thing, maybe it's part of how my brain works, why couldn't I get a normal brain and not this faulty thing that I got? If only I could open up my head and fix the wiring somehow.
Anyway
Been thinking about happiness as of late, about how I expect it to appear and show its smiley face and rainbow hair when I achieve a goal.
But... maybe I'm looking at it from the wrong perspective?
I mean, shouldn't I be feeling happiness daily? Because, well, good things happen daily... don't they?
For example, today I forgot my lunch, BUT Ro showed up randomly in the shop and brought me some leftover lasagna (he makes some GOOD lasagna), and that was a good thing! That made me happy, him saving my butt like he often does.
Why did I forget my lunch? Well, I may (or may not) have stayed up playing video games, and I may (or may not) have missed my alarm and gotten late to work.
At least I made it in the nick of time! Bob was already inside the shop but didn't say anything (phew).
Anyway, maybe I shouldn't wait for happiness when something big happens.
Maybe happiness is meant to be felt little by little each day and not while I wait for big events to happen.
Maybe I should focus more on the little good things that happen to me and often ignore, rather than only focusing on the bad things that make me sad (which I do a lot).
What else?
It was Bob's turn to play music in the store, and I had to survive listening to "The Beach Boys" all day. I never really liked them because they're so... ugh... happy?
But I survived the onslaught of cheerful music, YAY!
Unpacked a few boxes of vinyls we got and put them on the shelves and, guess what? My copy of "Past Time" by Grass Widow finally arrived. I am listening to it right now, as a matter of fact.
So good!
Now that I think of it, a few nice things happened to me today in spite of being late to work (presumably) and forgetting my lunch.
It seems like focusing on those things is making me feel a bit happier than I was feeling. Even my intrusive thoughts have changed from "I'm so stupid" to "Hey, this was nice!"
New challenge: Focus on the good more, Luna.
Well, I don't think I have much left to write about, so... goodnight, journal.
