Making friends and maintaining friendships has always been nigh on impossible for me. I can only assume that there is some point where the interaction becomes intuitive, and no longer requires excessive effort on the part of the friends. In my experience, this juncture in a relationship usually sparks an end to proceedings: Either I have lost interest in the person, or they in me. The other possibility is that the person becomes too close, and I begin to panic about the consequences of an ill-considered remark or forgotten appointment. I have read many books on the subject, including Eric Berne’s "The Games People Play" which has proven useful but the mechanics, when tackled on a purely intellectual level, are exhausting. I do not prefer my own company – it’s just often easier to be on my own.
Christmas and New Year is especially exhausting in this sense. Regardless of what they may say, people have high expectations around this time. People must be kind, thoughtful, organised and strive for perfection, (based on what criteria, I cannot fathom, but God forbid it's the TV adverts…) presumably under pain perhaps of being 'struck off the Christmas List'.
I enjoy the pomp and ceremony around Christmas time – I love singing carols, making and wrapping presents and decorating the house, so I keep the stresses associated with Christmas reasonably at bay. The real test comes with the return to work in January: Remember to say ‘Happy New Year’, ‘How was your Christmas?’ and ‘Did you manage to get away?’ (my personal favourite as it always conjures up an image of Santa robbing houses and getting chased by the police as he makes his escape on his sleigh!)
Keeping up with appropriate comments and responses when I have no particular interest in what other people have been doing is really challenging. They might be surprised to learn that I have no interest in telling them what I was doing either. I hold no ill-will towards anyone if they forget to send me a card, and I would like to think the same is true for them…
I assume that, like much of what passes between people in everyday conversation, these exchanges serve to maintain and strengthen friendships and social ties. I see no logic in treating people differently according to the time of year, but I confess to putting a great deal of effort into playing along! I can’t help thinking that things would be a lot simpler and less traumatic if we were to go back to just sitting around picking fleas off each other…
Christmas and New Year is especially exhausting in this sense. Regardless of what they may say, people have high expectations around this time. People must be kind, thoughtful, organised and strive for perfection, (based on what criteria, I cannot fathom, but God forbid it's the TV adverts…) presumably under pain perhaps of being 'struck off the Christmas List'.
I enjoy the pomp and ceremony around Christmas time – I love singing carols, making and wrapping presents and decorating the house, so I keep the stresses associated with Christmas reasonably at bay. The real test comes with the return to work in January: Remember to say ‘Happy New Year’, ‘How was your Christmas?’ and ‘Did you manage to get away?’ (my personal favourite as it always conjures up an image of Santa robbing houses and getting chased by the police as he makes his escape on his sleigh!)
Keeping up with appropriate comments and responses when I have no particular interest in what other people have been doing is really challenging. They might be surprised to learn that I have no interest in telling them what I was doing either. I hold no ill-will towards anyone if they forget to send me a card, and I would like to think the same is true for them…
I assume that, like much of what passes between people in everyday conversation, these exchanges serve to maintain and strengthen friendships and social ties. I see no logic in treating people differently according to the time of year, but I confess to putting a great deal of effort into playing along! I can’t help thinking that things would be a lot simpler and less traumatic if we were to go back to just sitting around picking fleas off each other…
