So, this is my introduction

[He_Rex]

As the title states, this is my introduction. I'm not very good at them, and most of the time I'm left wondering if I've made a oddly terrible impression. I was diagnosed with Asperger's in 2023 at 45 year old, and I suppose I've been experiencing a bit of an identity crisis since. I feel like somewhat of a fraud, and I believe that's because of my inability to sense, coupled with a strong desire to understand how others see the world and how they see me. It doesn't help that, because others can't feel what I feel, and I strive to appear "normal" I've gotten more than a few raised eyebrows when I've challenged myself to divulge my diagnosis. I feel separate from the pack, as though I'm in a bubble that's disconnected from those around me. Others seem to just "get" how things work, and I feel like I constantly struggle for the perfect response. I try to sense the world around me, other's impressions of me, true impressions of things I've said. Often I'm left wondering if the world is at all an honest place, because of the amount of detail assumed by others to be sufficient, and my need for detailed clarity. It just feel like the world is dreadfully ambiguous. I work in healthcare, probably the last career I would have picked if I realized part of my problem is constantly having to talk with people and being challenged with questions. Again, I struggle with feeling the need to always have the perfect response. Where I work, it's a nightmare of inconsistency, perfect responses are often unappreciated, and hard to come by due to lack of support. I can't find a local support group for people in my situation, so I'm wondering what's it like for others on this forum?

 

[tree]

 

[Rodafina]

Welcome @He_Rex. There is no pressure here to deliver a perfect introduction. It's just a way to say hello and welcome. By the looks of it, you have a lot in common with some of us. Hopefully you enjoy being part of the forum.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

As the title states, this is my introduction. I'm not very good at them, and most of the time I'm left wondering if I've made a oddly terrible impression. I was diagnosed with Asperger's in 2023 at 45 year old, and I suppose I've been experiencing a bit of an identity crisis since. I feel like somewhat of a fraud, and I believe that's because of my inability to sense, coupled with a strong desire to understand how others see the world and how they see me. It doesn't help that, because others can't feel what I feel, and I strive to appear "normal" I've gotten more than a few raised eyebrows when I've challenged myself to divulge my diagnosis. I feel separate from the pack, as though I'm in a bubble that's disconnected from those around me. Others seem to just "get" how things work, and I feel like I constantly struggle for the perfect response. I try to sense the world around me, other's impressions of me, true impressions of things I've said. Often I'm left wondering if the world is at all an honest place, because of the amount of detail assumed by others to be sufficient, and my need for detailed clarity. It just feel like the world is dreadfully ambiguous. I work in healthcare, probably the last career I would have picked if I realized part of my problem is constantly having to talk with people and being challenged with questions. Again, I struggle with feeling the need to always have the perfect response. Where I work, it's a nightmare of inconsistency, perfect responses are often unappreciated, and hard to come by due to lack of support. I can't find a local support group for people in my situation, so I'm wondering what's it like for others on this forum?

Well, you've found your people. I too, work in healthcare, as does my wife, and yes, I can totally relate to your experience.

In my experience, the best thing I did was simply accept the situation. It is what it is. You and I and everyone else here will never be perceived as "normal". You have to be willing to simply let that baggage go. Stop looking to please other people. Stop looking for validation. Stop trying to guess what others think of you. Most people are not thinking of you nearly as much as you seem to think they do. You're literally not that important to them. LOL! Wipe that crap off your plate and you can focus upon being you. It takes a load off the mind.

This autism-related lack of cognitive empathy, this "mind-blindness" is not something you can overcome, so again, you just have to simply accept it. I've been married for nearly 40 years to the same wonderful woman, and I will never, ever "know" her. I haven't a clue what she is thinking at any given time. I have to ask. Simple as that. When I am out in the world dealing with the public, as we do in healthcare, I don't know what others are thinking. I have to take what they say and do at face value. Are there people that can be deceptive? Absolutely, but those situations are not as common as one might catastrophize oneself about. When the front door rings or a phone rings, I rarely answer. I let my wife interact with people. I know I can be taken advantage of. I can perceive levels of intelligence, but I cannot perceive intent. So, I will let my wife do most of the talking.

My co-workers and students know that I am autistic...and they literally don't care. It's not ever brought up. I can talk about it freely when I want to...albeit with a sense of humor. If it gets serious, that's when it gets awkward. I also have found fellow nurses, respiratory therapists, and physicians who are also autistic. It's not as uncommon as one might think. For the most part, at least at work, (1) Do you know your job?, (2) Are you reliable?, (3) Are you eager to help others?

Welcome to the club

 

[FayetheAspie]

Welcome to the forum!

 

[Shamar]

As the title states, this is my introduction. I'm not very good at them, and most of the time I'm left wondering if I've made a oddly terrible impression. I was diagnosed with Asperger's in 2023 at 45 year old, and I suppose I've been experiencing a bit of an identity crisis since. I feel like somewhat of a fraud, and I believe that's because of my inability to sense, coupled with a strong desire to understand how others see the world and how they see me. It doesn't help that, because others can't feel what I feel, and I strive to appear "normal" I've gotten more than a few raised eyebrows when I've challenged myself to divulge my diagnosis. I feel separate from the pack, as though I'm in a bubble that's disconnected from those around me. Others seem to just "get" how things work, and I feel like I constantly struggle for the perfect response. I try to sense the world around me, other's impressions of me, true impressions of things I've said. Often I'm left wondering if the world is at all an honest place, because of the amount of detail assumed by others to be sufficient, and my need for detailed clarity. It just feel like the world is dreadfully ambiguous. I work in healthcare, probably the last career I would have picked if I realized part of my problem is constantly having to talk with people and being challenged with questions. Again, I struggle with feeling the need to always have the perfect response. Where I work, it's a nightmare of inconsistency, perfect responses are often unappreciated, and hard to come by due to lack of support. I can't find a local support group for people in my situation, so I'm wondering what's it like for others on this forum?

I think every one of us here has made an oddly terrible impression, I do it pretty regularly. Much of what you have written also describes most of us. I think you will fit right in.

You are not suffering an identity crisis. What you are experiencing is losing your made up false identity, and developing your real identity. Again, this is fairly common among us who have been diagnosed late. It certainly applies to me. I also suffer from the ambiguity that most people never seem to notice. You strive to appear normal; we call that "masking." And I think almost all of us have felt isolated and left out of the pack.

Read our stories, comment when you feel comfortable, and learn about your new community. You will feel a part of us in no time.

 

[Crossbreed]

Hello & welcome @He_Rex!

 

[Xinyta]

Glad to have you with us, @He_Rex

This odd disconnection is most definitely something we all face every day. Something lost in translation. Something not said in terms we can immediately understand. In jokes, sarcasm, turn of phrase, etc. It does make things ambiguous and disjointed. But alot of it is context that we cannot pick up as easily without practice, comparatively to NTs. But on the flip side. We are capable of things that turn NTs heads in question to how the heck we can do what we do.

In that sense. There is almost a balance in deficiencies on both sides.