Seeking an Independent Future

[delicatebandersnatch]

Hello, everyone.

I was browsing a thread that popped up recently about job stability, and this got me thinking about my own struggles in life. I didn't want to crowd that user's thread with my issues, so I'm starting my own discussion, even though I did read a few pages of his, which I will draw from here.

As for myself, I never even thought I'd live this long, let alone be working or wondering how I'd support myself next. I went through a ten-year period (this year marks the anniversary) where I tried to advocate for my needs as someone long-suffering from mental health issues, and I got abused by the system (in my view). Even though I might have been treated better than a lot of you who have attempted to seek aid, I still have scars from those times.

Today's thoughts are brighter, but my parents (whom I live with) are older. And not infrequently, I worry that my Liberal Arts degree (which hasn't been too successful in getting me a job - though I did get one; more on that soon) isn't enough for me to continue on.

In the last year, I got a promotion to what seemed like a good gig. I work in education, and I assist students not too much different from myself (e.g., with more severe levels of autism or other "disabilities") live better lives, for whatever short time I'm with them. I'm not a teacher, and I don't work in a classroom. But when I got offered "the" classroom job, I only lasted a week despite my best efforts to keep it - I didn't realize I was battling something I couldn't control, or maybe... had lost control of. Then I came back to this job after nearly six months. As a result of not only the loss in income, but complications related to impulsivity (I guess?), recently I've had a lot less money, and if it weren't for my parents, I'd probably be homeless and extremely depressed.

My parents want to see me succeed, and yes, you may be thinking, "Wow, this person nearly had it! She's farther along than a lot can say." And yeah, I'd agree, if you did say that. I have a degree, family who loves me, a stable, if entry-level (and dead-end) job.

However, it seems I've been making all the wrong choices for myself, if I do make a choice at all. I deliberate endlessly on further education, and if I do decide on a program, I immediately "freak out," and rescind my enrollment, dropping courses even before I've had the chance to take them. Yes, I get it - the fact at all that I've got the privilege to take them is BIG. And I shouldn't have allowed myself to become as "freaked" at my first professional position; if I had, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now, likely.

But maybe I wouldn't know I was autistic then.

What bothers me most is I know I can do more, and be more impactful, in the quiet ways I so wish. I want to help my parents pay for things as they age. But in the last year, it seems as my mood has steadied, my ability to hold it together has fallen apart... ironically enough.

It was always a little bit iffy, but now it's especially so.

I guess the biggest takeaway here, through all this explanation, is: What is going on with me? Am I just a spoiled kid who can't find her way because of the way she's been conditioned, or even her own biases/thinking?

 

[Outdated]

Try to narrow down what aspects of the job are getting to you. Is it physical sensitivities or is it the social/emotional components of where you work.

For many of us it boils down to the social/emotional side of things. It seems we can put up with one hell of a lot physically as long as we're happy and motivated, but all that falls apart when we come under social pressures.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

From a job security perspective as we enter the age of machines...A.I. embodied (humanoid robotics) and non-embodied (management systems, security, data entry, research, etc.)...the only jobs that seem to be secure on the horizon are those that fall under the umbrella of "skilled labor" (electricians, HVAC, plumbing, mechanics, heavy machine operators, welders, etc.). Within the next 10 years there will be a tidal wave of change that will lead to an entire upheaval of the geo-political, social, and economic systems around the world. That train has already left the station and racing down the track towards us all...so we must all be mentally prepared to have rugs pulled out from under us professionally...and ready to pivot into the next career or phase of our lives.

My suggestion...get retrained for the future. Many tech centers and corporations are actually paying students to receive their training. Plenty of money being poured into these training centers. No debt and walking into sometimes 6-figure incomes. The demand for skilled labor positions right now is in the millions in the US...and right now, for the US and other industrialized nations, is becoming a national security threat. So, if you are considering retraining, now would be the time to take advantage of it.

 

[Aspychata]

For me, life has centered on pure survival. My parents are achievers, and they never coddled me. Basically l was kicked out of my home for something that had to do with my step-father's poor choices. So l went out and worked, and eventually moved to Hawaii. There l was truly happy, l didn't have much, but l loved living there. Do you intentionally sabotage yourself because you are afraid of being successful? Maybe you feel not worthy of a great job, or that you can be responsible? I felt this way due to my upbringing, and education, however, survival is my go-to. I have to survive in this lifetime, so l just keep moving forward. People disagree with my decisions in my life, but they don't operate on pure survival. Maybe time to take your life a little more seriously?

 

[Judge]

Frankly I gave up all hope of job stability back in the 80s. When corporations began to downsize not because they had to, but because it could bolster the bottom line of their balance sheets. When company loyalty evaporated, knowing that shareholders equity was far more valued over employee loyalty and work ethic.

And recognizing how vulnerable- or not I might be depending on the strength or weakness of the economy or employer at any given time. Most of all to know I had little to no control in the workplace.

Small wonder my last decade of employment involved being self-employed. I was lucky to have made it to the finish line to even retire.

With such insurmountable forces in play, try not to be too hard on yourself. Life can be pretty tough at times. No way to skirt around that.

 

[delicatebandersnatch]

People disagree with my decisions in my life, but they don't operate on pure survival. Maybe time to take your life a little more seriously?

Yes, I have been living on autopilot for many years now just trying to "get over myself," basically, hoping things will get better. I'm finally getting to the point where it's better, but as @Neonatal RRT says, things have changed so much, even within just the past two years, that all the work I did on myself has become less valuable to me than it should be because the things that should take precedence (in my view) in life, like knowing yourself or loving yourself for who you are are getting replaced with a chip in your head. :')

My mom has suggested I'm "afraid of being successful," too, and maybe that's true - it feels to me, when I think about it, more like I'm afraid of change. But I could be wrong in my assessment of my own self.

I also have parents, that while well-meaning, tend to make me question and second-guess myself a lot, to the point my decision-making skills have crumbled under the weight of their ideas.

Thanks for sharing, and your insight!

My suggestion...get retrained for the future. Many tech centers and corporations are actually paying students to receive their training. Plenty of money being poured into these training centers. No debt and walking into sometimes 6-figure incomes. The demand for skilled labor positions right now is in the millions in the US...and right now, for the US and other industrialized nations, is becoming a national security threat. So, if you are considering retraining, now would be the time to take advantage of it.

I'm trying to find jobs and a different skillset that work for me. My job seems "fairly" future-proof, at least for the next couple years, especially since the district I work for can be pretty old-school in unusual ways. I have some physical limitations (one I can control, for the most part, and am actively working to improve - and one I can't) that would probably prevent me from going into most trades.

Another issue is that I'm really skilled in areas that AI will probably take over, and will probably become things of legend in underground encampments when the machines take over. For instance, I'm a stellar linguist and storyteller, but put me with anything math-, science-, or anything-else-related, and I fall apart. I completely lose interest - and to some extent, I've even lost interest with the things I'm supposed to be good at.

If you have more information on this, and are willing to share, that'd be great, but if not, that's fine, too!

Thank you for stopping by

 

[Judge]

Yes, I have been living on autopilot for many years now just trying to "get over myself," basically, hoping things will get better. I'm finally getting to the point where it's better, but as @Neonatal RRT says, things have changed so much, even within just the past two years, that all the work I did on myself has become less valuable to me than it should be because the things that should take precedence (in my view) in life, like knowing yourself or loving yourself for who you are are getting replaced with a chip in your head. :')

My mom has suggested I'm "afraid of being successful," too, and maybe that's true - it feels to me, when I think about it, more like I'm afraid of change. But I could be wrong in my assessment of my own self.

I also have parents, that while well-meaning, tend to make me question and second-guess myself a lot, to the point my decision-making skills have crumbled under the weight of their ideas.

Thanks for sharing, and your insight!



I'm trying to find jobs and a different skillset that work for me. My job seems "fairly" future-proof, at least for the next couple years, especially since the district I work for can be pretty old-school in unusual ways. I have some physical limitations (one I can control, for the most part, and am actively working to improve - and one I can't) that would probably prevent me from going into most trades.

Another issue is that I'm really skilled in areas that AI will probably take over, and will probably become things of legend in underground encampments when the machines take over. For instance, I'm a stellar linguist and storyteller, but put me with anything math-, science-, or anything-else-related, and I fall apart. I completely lose interest - and to some extent, I've even lost interest with the things I'm supposed to be good at.

If you have more information on this, and are willing to share, that'd be great, but if not, that's fine, too!

Thank you for stopping by

Maybe that's the best we all can be under such dynamic circumstances. To remain on "autopilot" and just see where life takes us. I like that. Very pragmatic.

 

[Aspychata]

Sad in life that we can't feel passionate about working and contributing to help those in need. But you can go volunteer. I volunteered at legal aid as intake and receptionist, then volunteered at state bar for attorneys, then they hired me full-time for a fantastic job. So volunteer work can bring back passion and guide you in your career. I like the nonprofit sector, usually the employees are very easy to get along with and look out for each other.