Shiroi Tora
Well-Known Member
The thrust of this post is to let you know that you are not alone when it comes to embarrassment or fears in life. I, too, had to overcome many. With this post, I strive to give hope to all those who don't allow their life to progress because of fear or embarrassment.
I have been in many instances in life where I was almost petrified from fear. I did not quit. I knew that to get in the habit of quitting (short term relief from pain - long term suffering) is to quit life itself. You end up running from all the great beauty and pleasures in life because of your fear of the pain.
I had many neurological problems as a child. My gross motor coordination was so off I couldn't run straight. I had so many years of verbal and physical tics...obsessive behaviors (had to turn a 360 whenever I walked around any corner...to unwind...etc) ....wetting the bed until puberty...terrible fine motor coordination (my hand writing is still illegible)....terrible grades (I couldn't sit still / my mind constantly went to my inner world / my feet got so hot I had to take off my shoes in class / felt as if I were suffocating if the temperatures exceeded the mid 70s...etc)).........I DID NOT QUIT...because I held on to my dreams...planned and held to them.
I was very shy and awkward. I still don't have any friends outside of work. I have my family...more than enough. I stay up all night on my off days. I don't go out much...all by choice (not because I feel I can not do otherwise).
I overcame many of my deficits through sports...on to Combative Sports....Active Army (Light Infantry /Recon Platoon)...Corrections...all the while maintaining physical training on my own and through training halls. I've also had to become the Alpha Male in the dorms in which I have worked as a Correctional officer (22+ Years) filled with murderers, and many times, grapple with criminals on the job.
I had many...many fights (I averaged 1 a year) until I was 22 yrs. old (I left the army at 21). I was so scared most of my fights as I was ALWAYS at some physical disadvantage (bully larger almost every time). I fought out of self defense and in the defense of others. I never backed down...I never quit...I won all of my fights....except my first one. That first one (3rd grade) I was trying to bargain my way out...he hit me so hard in my stomach...I went home crying...but with a firm conviction in my heart that I would never cower again...as the result of doing so was so very painful...the psychological pain of cowardice being the most painful of all. I knew I would feel fear in the future...but I also knew I couldn't give in to it. In the Army...there were so many times I felt sick with fear...but I already knew I wouldn't quit. With each successful obstacle conquered...the next became easier....I looked forward to the next. With each success, I saw more and more of the beauty of life. When you love yourself...everything in life becomes beautiful. You lose the fear of failure...because you know that quitting is not an option...you will try your best...and whatever comes..shall come.
My Philosophy is not borne of our experience with our son - only the parenting advice. It is borne of my experience in life...the life I consciously chose to live with a brave heart...as I know life shall not reward the cowering one. Life is for those who choose to live it. For those who realize that the obstacles are opportunities for conquering your fears so life's beauty can be fully realized by you. Stress is no longer a factor in your decision making...just the rewards.
Don't allow anyone to prevent you from achieving your dreams...most of all you.
Conquer your embarrassment and fears one at a time and in manageable bites. Always move forward...you can do that which you really wish to do.
Find your passion...pursue it relentlessly...never give up.
This is the same Philosophy I am teaching my Aspie son. He has conquered so many deficits already...and he looks forward to the challenges of the future because of his attitude.
Whether you change your attitude and allow it to alter you actions or through your correct actions allowing it to alter your attitude...Either way you win...Just do one or the other regardless of your fears.
I have been in many instances in life where I was almost petrified from fear. I did not quit. I knew that to get in the habit of quitting (short term relief from pain - long term suffering) is to quit life itself. You end up running from all the great beauty and pleasures in life because of your fear of the pain.
I had many neurological problems as a child. My gross motor coordination was so off I couldn't run straight. I had so many years of verbal and physical tics...obsessive behaviors (had to turn a 360 whenever I walked around any corner...to unwind...etc) ....wetting the bed until puberty...terrible fine motor coordination (my hand writing is still illegible)....terrible grades (I couldn't sit still / my mind constantly went to my inner world / my feet got so hot I had to take off my shoes in class / felt as if I were suffocating if the temperatures exceeded the mid 70s...etc)).........I DID NOT QUIT...because I held on to my dreams...planned and held to them.
I was very shy and awkward. I still don't have any friends outside of work. I have my family...more than enough. I stay up all night on my off days. I don't go out much...all by choice (not because I feel I can not do otherwise).
I overcame many of my deficits through sports...on to Combative Sports....Active Army (Light Infantry /Recon Platoon)...Corrections...all the while maintaining physical training on my own and through training halls. I've also had to become the Alpha Male in the dorms in which I have worked as a Correctional officer (22+ Years) filled with murderers, and many times, grapple with criminals on the job.
I had many...many fights (I averaged 1 a year) until I was 22 yrs. old (I left the army at 21). I was so scared most of my fights as I was ALWAYS at some physical disadvantage (bully larger almost every time). I fought out of self defense and in the defense of others. I never backed down...I never quit...I won all of my fights....except my first one. That first one (3rd grade) I was trying to bargain my way out...he hit me so hard in my stomach...I went home crying...but with a firm conviction in my heart that I would never cower again...as the result of doing so was so very painful...the psychological pain of cowardice being the most painful of all. I knew I would feel fear in the future...but I also knew I couldn't give in to it. In the Army...there were so many times I felt sick with fear...but I already knew I wouldn't quit. With each successful obstacle conquered...the next became easier....I looked forward to the next. With each success, I saw more and more of the beauty of life. When you love yourself...everything in life becomes beautiful. You lose the fear of failure...because you know that quitting is not an option...you will try your best...and whatever comes..shall come.
My Philosophy is not borne of our experience with our son - only the parenting advice. It is borne of my experience in life...the life I consciously chose to live with a brave heart...as I know life shall not reward the cowering one. Life is for those who choose to live it. For those who realize that the obstacles are opportunities for conquering your fears so life's beauty can be fully realized by you. Stress is no longer a factor in your decision making...just the rewards.
Don't allow anyone to prevent you from achieving your dreams...most of all you.
Conquer your embarrassment and fears one at a time and in manageable bites. Always move forward...you can do that which you really wish to do.
Find your passion...pursue it relentlessly...never give up.
This is the same Philosophy I am teaching my Aspie son. He has conquered so many deficits already...and he looks forward to the challenges of the future because of his attitude.
Whether you change your attitude and allow it to alter you actions or through your correct actions allowing it to alter your attitude...Either way you win...Just do one or the other regardless of your fears.
