I feel like I failed all of my obsessions..

[Hurting89]

This sounds stupid or even absurd but I feel like I failed at a lot of my obsessions. I spent so much time on many of them gaining information and developing a new skill and now I feel like I've reverted to sh*t and lost what I've learned. It feels like it was all for nothing.

For example I once had an obsession with fitness and living the ideal lifestyle that spanned a number of years and I learned everything there way to know about healthy living and fitness - now I'm more out of shape than ever (160 pounds at 5'7) before, started smoking again and have been eating at fast food resatarants everyday for the last year. It's just like complete reversion and failure.


And there's so many more obsessions that I worked so hard on to master and maintain (spending so much time, effort and money) that I've just totally blown. It's extremely depressing

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

You laid down some circuits in your brain. You can light them up again. Some may take longer than others. I too went through the fitness-to-fatness thing, several times, got education I can't use directly, and so forth. It's only human to do that, and just as human to get discouraged by it. If you counted up all the things going wrong, you'll just get Deathcake (defined in blog, but basically means adding up everything bad until your life looks hopeless).

What would make you happy now? That's a better question.

 

[Hurting89]

^ I agree about the education "that you can't use directly" As well.. I have a lot of that. It's just a depressing thought that I spent so much time nurturing something for it to deteriorate into nothing.

 

[Sully]

I can relate to all of this. I get so focused on one interest at a time that it completely takes over my brain until I overload. Then I just drop it and move on to a new interest and the cycle continues.

I've done the same thing with a fitness obsession. I've decided to try a new strategy starting this spring. I'm going to try moderation to avoid burn out. I'm going to schedule a different activity for each day of the week and force myself to not get too focused on just what I'm interested in at the time. I want to develop good lifestyle habits that will last over the long term.