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First date

I

iceact

Well-Known Member
Hello everybody!

I am an Icelandic acting student and I'm currently working on a scene where a person with AS is preparing for his first date with a relative (maybe shopping for clothes or flowers...)
I'm trying to do all the reading and studying I can so i was wandering if anybody here could give me an inside to what a person with AS is thinking about when going on his first date.

What kinds of questions would he ask? And what kind of advise/questions should/shouldn't the relative have?

My knowledge about aspergers is very little so any kind of information about this subject would help a lot!
 
Thank you for joining Aspies Central for information to Aspergers Syndrome & Autism.

You should be able to find your answers here and since you are doing a acting part, I would recommend reading about it.
Are you currently in school?
 
iceact said:
Hello everybody!

I am an Icelandic acting student and I'm currently working on a scene where a person with AS is preparing for his first date with a relative (maybe shopping for clothes or flowers...)
Click to expand...

I got confused for a brief moment with this bit. He is preparing with the relative to go on a date, not preparing to go on a date with a relative... right? :lol2:

My guess is that the AS person would be asking his relative what he should do on the date. Like how to greet the date, talk to her and so-on. In terms of his thinking, he would be nervous and have anxiety. Possibly also fear of things going wrong or making a mistake. He might ask his relative how he should dress for the date (is it a restaurant meal or a casual night at the movies?) and what present to buy for his date (flowers/chocolates). Another question would be whether he should kiss on a first date or not (some people do and some don't).

Hope that helps.
 
Calvert said:
I got confused for a brief moment with this bit. He is preparing with the relative to go on a date, not preparing to go on a date with a relative... right? :lol2:
Click to expand...
Yes he is preparing with the relative! :lol: Thank you for your answer it definitely helps.

I was watching a documentary about autism and AS, and there was an autistic boy that got upset and didn't know the word for being upset. He said to the camera man "I almost came to tears, what's that called? What's that emotion called when you are hurt? Not like kicked in the leg hurt but more like hurt in the brain?"
I found this sentence beautiful I would like to use a similar one. Is this something that could happen to an AS person too? Feel something but not being able to find the word for the feeling they are experiencing?

Another question: Are people with AS normally expressive with their feelings? If the boy I'm playing is really nervous while preparing with his relative, would he say "I'm really nervous" or would he keep quiet about it?

Thanks again for you answer!
 
Generally people with AS/Autism would have difficulty expressing their emotions and feelings. When they are nervous it would obviously show but they wouldn't say "I am nervous because of X,Y,Z". I think that we would also have difficulty finding the word for our feelings sometimes too but I can't speak for everyone of course.
 
they would not be thinking about what the other person is thinking, this is somewhat of the main challenge interacting. i remember my "first date" and it was with this girl i liked so much, and i recall being just frozen, not feeling nervous but having no idea what to say to talk to her. i regret not studying social thinking because i missed a huge opportunity to be a better friend with her.
 
I think the person might write down the advise as if taking notes for a test...also I have found it quite common for the person helping me prepare to get quite upset as I ask many things that they assume I should intuitively know...like how fast to approach the date?, what side to walk on?, Should I walk slightly ahead or behind?, do I attempt to hold hands?, should I pull her chair out or not?, etc...being that I'm quite intelligent in other areas and get along with friends, they tend to forget that I've learned how to do that type on interaction, but this would be a new and different experience.

Hope that helps.
 
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