Feeling looked at

[vergil96]

Do you also have this problem? I can't figure out why I feel this way. I go shopping and I'm too tired to interact, so I pretend not to notice people around me. I pretend to be busy doing something or to be pensive. But I feel lioe other people try to interact regardless. Like, you know not talk but if you make eye co tact with someone, it's rude to have an unpleasant face and I'm tired and don't want to smile at all these strangers and I know I can look disappointed or angry when I'm tired, because a lot of things annoy me and I frown or am upset. I can see with the corner of my eye that people try to make eye contact and do that sort of interaction or maybe just look at me. It's probaboy just my paranoia, but I can't fugure out if it's social anxiety or what exactly triggers me and why. Maybe I feel judged? Has anyone dealt with that?

 

[Outdated]

It could be a combination of things, I think you're right that some of it will just be your own paranoia. Part of it might also be that because you're deliberately trying to avoid contact you could be behaving more furtively and nervous, body language that people will notice.

 

[Crabcore]

Do you also have this problem? I can't figure out why I feel this way. I go shopping and I'm too tired to interact, so I pretend not to notice people around me. I pretend to be busy doing something or to be pensive. But I feel lioe other people try to interact regardless. Like, you know not talk but if you make eye co tact with someone, it's rude to have an unpleasant face and I'm tired and don't want to smile at all these strangers and I know I can look disappointed or angry when I'm tired, because a lot of things annoy me and I frown or am upset. I can see with the corner of my eye that people try to make eye contact and do that sort of interaction or maybe just look at me. It's probaboy just my paranoia, but I can't fugure out if it's social anxiety or what exactly triggers me and why. Maybe I feel judged? Has anyone dealt with that?

This is exactly how I feel all the time and I just call it SAD. It's like a hyper-alertness that kicks up especially when strangers are nearby, and my attempts to 'blend in' are basically just to avoid eye contact and look like I'm busy doing something so nobody will talk to me.

If anyone has this and thinks it's not SAD, I'm also open to other interpretations in order to try and understand it better, too. I've had it all my life and it never goes away.

 

[betazoid]

I feel something similar. I hate being out in public because I feel a sense of eyes being on me, whether they are or not. For example, if I wanted to go for a walk, I'd either wait until after dark or I'd drive somewhere in the car and then walk - I don't like to just step out my front door and walk down the street because I feel constantly observed. Even if it's quiet and there are no people around, I feel uncomfortable walking past all the houses and windows, because I have no way of knowing if there are people inside, watching me walk past. For me it isn't a paranoia thing - I've felt it my whole life since I was a child and I don't really struggle with paranoia in any other way. I personally believe it's essentially the same thing as the stereotypical autistic discomfort with eye contact, just on bigger scale. I feel so uncomfortable, my whole body/skin feels almost like it's burning, and I constantly picture what I might look like to anyone watching me walk past, and imagine my every physical move being scrutinised. I hate it and it's quite disabling and restricting. It is easier to an extent when I have someone with me, or if I'm walking somewhere far from home where no one knows me, but it's still always there.

The flip side of it is that I've always gotten a huge kick out of feeling "hidden". For example, say I was standing outside a building somewhere smoking a cigarette, maybe around a corner or something where I can see people walking past but they don't notice me, that's almost a thrill. Like, it's not just a discomfort with being observed, I also get a great sense of joy from going unnoticed.

Anyway, I don't know if it's the same thing you're describing or not but I definitely sympathise. It sounds really difficult for you.

 

[elgat0verde]

Do you also have this problem? I can't figure out why I feel this way. I go shopping and I'm too tired to interact, so I pretend not to notice people around me. I pretend to be busy doing something or to be pensive. But I feel lioe other people try to interact regardless. Like, you know not talk but if you make eye co tact with someone, it's rude to have an unpleasant face and I'm tired and don't want to smile at all these strangers and I know I can look disappointed or angry when I'm tired, because a lot of things annoy me and I frown or am upset. I can see with the corner of my eye that people try to make eye contact and do that sort of interaction or maybe just look at me. It's probaboy just my paranoia, but I can't fugure out if it's social anxiety or what exactly triggers me and why. Maybe I feel judged? Has anyone dealt with that?

I have, all my life

I hate being stared at and looked at for long periods of time. I also dislike social interactions and hate small talk!

I completely understand you, putting on a mask can be very tiring.

I deal with that as well