Do any of you struggle with self blame? I feel like blaming myself for things that aren't my fault.

[Amethystgirl]

Do any of you struggle with self blame? I feel like blaming myself for things that aren't my fault. For example, my friend told me on the phone the other day her other friend (can't remember what exactly she said) is struggling at job and I said I'm sorry. And then my friend says it's not your fault which I feel doesn't make any sense for her to say. Because of my self esteem, a new trigger is I don't like it when someone says something isn't my fault even though I know it isn't. Weird thoughts in my mind I can't escape.

 

[velociraptor]

Not really. I'm very good at blaming others.

[ gives @WhitewaterWoman the eye as she is probably up to something ]

 

[Judge]

I blame myself for most of my failed relationships with women. Often wishing at the time that I had some understanding of who- and what I am in real time, instead of decades long after the fact.

Yet with no guarantees that would have made any difference.

Often breaking my own heart...

 

[cooljethro]

I sometimes say sorry for things that aren't my fault. Apparently this is a very British thing to do, especially in social situations.

 

[tree]

It's possible to feel sad/sorry about things,
even when you're not responsible for how
they've turned out.

Saying "sorry" doesn't necessarily mean you
feel at fault.

 

[velociraptor]

Often breaking my own heart...

You're a good guy from everything I have seen. Their loss if they can't appreciate when they've been handed a blessing.

 

[Judge]

You're a good guy from everything I have seen. Their loss if they can't appreciate when they've been handed a blessing.

Thanks, but I'm at a loss how to address that. I did some things wrong, but it all may come down to individual chemistry- and timing. Figuring out the Loch Ness monster would be easier...