Diagnosed as adult

[dbltall]

I have suspected that I am Aspie for several months now, and I have just gotten an official diagnosis. It changes a lot of things. I have been trying to fit in and be the way I am expected to be for so long, and the therapist said I should allow myself to be the way I really am. I've spent my whole life trying (semi-successfully) to fit in since it didn't seem like I was allowed to be weird and act differently.

I'm not even sure who I am. I'm older, and there was no allowance for different behavior in school or at home when I was growing up. I felt like I had to act the way people wanted. I have tried to have jobs, but I always fail out of them when I can't keep up. My therapist says it's OK if I don't have a job, and it's OK not to put on the fake smile and eye contact and script. I have some remote work I can do part-time on a contract basis from home.

It's a great relief, but I don't know what to expect. I am still working on letting myself be and feel naturally and not police my behavior to keep it normal appearing. The idea that it's OK to stay home and not want to do social things is wonderful. My husband, who is quirky and possibly not neurotypical himself, is very supportive, because I was getting very depressed and now I feel better. It's easier for him in a way since it's more acceptable for a man not to want to socialize and not be chatty.

Anyway I'm here and hope I can find some insight.

 

[Arashi222]

Oh welcome to AC! Another Aspie female....I am glad you are here. There are several of us on here who were diagnosed as adults because the diagnosis wasn't available when were kids. I just liked to say that its fine to be who you are...we are a very excepting, tolerant, supportive and informative group here. I hope you feel welcome.