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Hazel_1914

Hazel_1914

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  • Hazel_1914
    My headphones broke two months ago and my ancient computer has no external speakers. Just like that, I kind of quit watching YouTube. Amazing the difference it makes to not have YouTube as part of one's mind; I like this far better.
    Crossbreed
    What is going on with your name change?
    Hazel_1914
    Hazel_1914
    the number is a reference to the year Archduke Franz Ferdinand was shot and WWI broke out which I still think could be seen as a valid line of demarcation between "Christendom/Western civilization" and the modern world.
    the name itself changed because I am trans, and my previous username borrowed on Latin which is a heavily gendered language (you see it in the suffixes) and referred to a piece by Elgar
    Hazel_1914
    Hazel_1914
    the whole thing started as a science experiment last winter and it got a little out of hand but fixed 10 or 12 years of depression - which is reason enough.
    Hazel_1914
    Narrowing down that my next mental-health fixup project is going to have to be the moderate to severe anxiety. At least that is fixable, but I've never worked on it in a targeted and specific way. So this will be interesting.
    Hazel_1914
    today is the day i test out and see if i measure up.
    View previous comments…
    MildredHubble
    MildredHubble
    You'll get there! It took me 3 tries to pass my driving test, but I think in the end it was a good thing. It helped me be more careful. Its not about passing first time but having a long and safe, accident free driving career! That's the best metric to concentrate on 🙂
    MildredHubble
    MildredHubble
    On another note, I just remembered again that I noticed my copy of The Bell Jar wasn't on the shelf the other day, I made a mental note to find it and you've jogged my memory! :-)
    Tired
    Tired
    I recently passed driving test on my 4 try, almost gave up on driving altogether, even tho i really love the feeling of it.
    Hazel_1914
    Mental health so much better last 3 weeks, absolutely unbelievable feeling of peace and normalcy
    Outdated
    Outdated
    Is this from hormone therapy or because you can now see a brighter future ahead for yourself?
    Hazel_1914
    Hazel_1914
    @Outdated from both the skills and the HRT. I think I'm getting the hang of these old trucks. They say I'm one of the better drivers in the class. And I'm finding my brain is doing so much better on estrogen.
    maycontainthunder
    maycontainthunder
    Dog V4 sends hugs. Glad you're feeling good.
    Hazel_1914
    There is a chance that with the license I'm working on I can get a very nice job--and start to get out of poverty.
    FayetheADHDsquirrel
    FayetheADHDsquirrel
    Hopefully it will work out. What are you studying?
    Hazel_1914
    Hazel_1914
    @FayetheAspie truck driving! I was able to get a scholarship for a Commercial Driver's License, Class A, which would permit me to operate a semi-truck. If I got endorsements and levelled up I could haul hazmat and other things.

    Was studying English in the Humanities & Philosophy, nearly graduated college, but I promise this is going to be a better career.
    Hazel_1914
    doing anything important online induces anxiety, be it bills, paperwork, filing taxes, anything. I do not know why.
    Hazel_1914
    Autism is: being worried about the $8 car wash until you realize it's only a $2 hand wash and you've let the enamel on your car get dusty for no reason.
    Hazel_1914
    This evening I need to order some tools to fix a typewriter...it's just sitting here, and I have parts for it, but I haven't fixed it. Why not.
    Hazel_1914
    Hazel_1914
    it is a cool old 1916 Remington open frame and I love early Remingtons. Really a fifty-pound cast-iron gigachad of a typewriter and it's been here two years without overhaul. I better fix it.
    Hazel_1914
    I found a shop with experience in a specific kind of typewriter--so I can get my '36 Noiseless Portable going, hopefully.
    Somehow I broke the return handle.
    Hazel_1914
    Going to do something very silly today--Don't mind me. Going to try for my commercial learners permit.
    FayetheADHDsquirrel
    FayetheADHDsquirrel
    Are you talking about truck driving? Let us know how it goes.
    Hazel_1914
    Hazel_1914
    @FayetheAspie yes, it is for truck driving. And I passed! Now to enroll in a technical school and get the practice needed to be able to test again and actually get the CDL. I was taking the test for CDL-A, interstate commerce, combination vehicles (trailers), with air brakes.
    Hazel_1914
    Tonight was the first time I've ever gone and played Dungeons & Dragons. Honestly? Fun game. Reminds me of the old-time radio play combined with improv. theater and video-gaming. Really enjoyed it, would play again!
    tkcartoonist
    tkcartoonist
    Which version? I'm no D&D expert, but I know each version has a different set of rules.
    Hazel_1914
    Hazel_1914
    @tkcartoonist Oh I have no idea! It was a one-shot campaign I do know that much. Played as Lv1 barbarian, human actually, background of a scribe who eventually let the intrusive thoughts win & took up life of a barbarian. Kind of fun.
    Hazel_1914
    I found this song on line and am trying to find more songs in this new genre. Was kind of fun! Usually all I get to listen to is older stuff so this is a bit new.
    Hazel_1914
    This weekend was a good weekend for a beer or two and a smoke and a relaxing time at home.
    Outdated
    Outdated
    It sounds like a tough life but someone has to live it. :)

    I'm doing much the same.
    Hazel_1914
    I would like to get a straight answer on how much of C-PTSD is autism, how much autism is C-PTSD, and how much they can overlap. Something isn't right. Was chatting with a girl and she said that it sounds like you have nerve damage. Boy I sure wonder where that's from--how'd I get neurological issues? I'm only 26!
    Raggamuffin
    Raggamuffin
    My last 2 therapists suggested mine was C-PTSD and not autism. Personally, after giving up on getting an NHS diagnosis, and being unlikely to ever want to spend over £1000 on a private one - I figure I'll return to EMDR therapy when I can next afford it, as that's very effective RE: trauma.
    Hazel_1914
    Haven't been on as much due to various offline preoccupations and such, but I'm fine, hope all you are the same.
    It is good here.
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