After days of working non-stop, I'm got extremely close to having a meltdown now. We're in the car though so I don't want to let it out too much. Have my Tangle toy and am reading now after some crying. It'll be okay.
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Our elderly cat is really nervous because of our move, and because the apartment is a mess. We are trying to give her reassurance and let her hide a lot. I feel sorry because we can't explain to her what's going on.
I'll have a very stressful and socially demanding day today, and I already feel wobbly. I might post something later if things go downhill.
This move is really wearing me down. It's a non-ending list of tasks to do. I just want to be done with it finally.
Andy Weir just writes such phenomenal books. Re-reading Project Hail Mary for the second time, and it's as amazing as ever. I guess you have to be a science nerd to love his books.
The town I'm moving to has an amateur astronomy club! I'm SO going to join! I'm really excited because it'll be the first time that I'll join a club which is not related to my work or sports (which I do enjoy but are also always sort of a chore). It'll be the first club I'll join for myself, purely out of interest and joy, no strings attached!
My partner got me some great hearing protectors for our anniversary, the kind construction workers use. Right now, I am sitting in complete silence for the first time in ages. It's heaven. I am curious to see how they will be when I am outside in a noisy environment.
Today's a crappy day. My battery's at about 15%, and nothing has even happened yet. Why are there such days? The last few days were so good.
I can recommend watching the Netflix adaptation "Geek Girl". I feel like it's a very good representation of undiagnosed autism in a teenage girl. It's the closest I came so far to how I feel/felt. Also, it's a nice and happy watch, something to comfort you.
I'm rocking back and forth in a train station bathroom stall. I've been travelling for almost 24 hours. There are so many people. It's so loud. I'm tired. My boyfriend's in a crappy mood. It's so loud.
I just had a meltdown. It has been a long and extremely hot day, and my mother-in-law kept talking on and on about an apparent misunderstanding we've had (according to her), with a lot of emotional subtext. I couldn't handle it anymore. Now I'm really tired.
I am so exhausted, my body feels so heavy and my brain is clouded by fog. It's probably hangover from having been so anxious the past few weeks. Now I'm not anxious anymore but I still have to work on a project. I feel like my body and brain are close to shutting down.
I've got a job interview in about 10 days! I'm so excited that I'm shaking! I'm going to get veeery nervous, but right now I'm just excited!
I know I am a grown-up and all, but sometimes I really want to cuddle up in my childhood bed at my parents' and just be small again. Being a grown-up is scary and exhausting.
How can people be together and talk for 8 hours straight? I fled for half an hour in between and I still feel like my brain is fuzzy, my hands are ice-cold and I want to cry. And they're still as relaxed as can be, just a bit tired but still very much sociable.
I'm close to a tearful meltdown and need to put on my social mask at any moment. I don't know how I'm supposed to do it...
I discovered a pretty effective way to deal with loudness and fighting at my family home: covering my ears as soon as someone starts. Retro, but it does help.
Does someone else absolutely love to make lists and create detailed schedules and routines but then never sticks to them? Creating the schedules is so much fun on its own.
I threw away 3 full bags of my old things at my parents' place. My old room looks so much better now! I'm really proud of myself. For once, I broke the clutter paralysis.
I'm on family visit and while it's nice, I have to keep reminding myself that I am an adult, not a child, and my family doesn't have to understand or like all my decisions, and I don't have to explain myself if I don't want to. Now please, brain, believe all that.
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