What a Pita it is to tune in my YouTube feed to get rid of those faith based videos. I tried removing them from my history but like wake a moole they won't disappear.
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Tony Ramirez
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Had to share this.
Listening the opinion of two non Christian random lives of a guy doing a tour of a China park and Swedish women cooking food giving life advice without all that stuff I been hearing about righteousness and crap. It was a relief.
Why am I cursed with autism when most people are normal?
My friend I meet at church during the lock down was there. As soon as he talked to me after the service I broke down. I told him everything. He understands. He got me through the lock down meeting in person when places were closed. I felt much better now after.
Had to leave and go to the hallway. I could not take the people or noise. I could not even greet anyone. No one greet me. I am in the hallway listening to EDM to try to calm me down but people are still walking around. So far every person ignored me anyway.
I have the signs of autistic burnout.
https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/autistic-burnout
I'm not looking forward to today.
I think going back listening to EDM music will clear my mind and made me feel more uplifting.
How can I be getting better sleep now that I am so depressed? Who cares. I need the sleep. Who needs people anyway.
I'm depressed again. I am slowly losing my friends one by one because if my stupid autism and my constant oversharing/ over friendliness. I might have lost two friends again today including the new one. Most of us are destined to live alone forever.
Even though my life is so much better now my sleep is once again poor again.
I think I finally found a nice platonic friendship with a kind caring woman for once ever in my life.
Today at church was dedicated to me. My friends were there, even the one I recently made at the coffee shop who gave me hug. She was touched by the speech I gave on stage. I was cheered on stage. I finally felt accepted and loved.
The word boy does not bother me. I actually like the word friend now. But put them together and when I read and hear then annoys the heck out of me.
So I dint have bipolar. Never did I always just had type 1 ASD. I has bad side effects like tiredness, dehydration and diarrhea from two new bipolar meds that I stopped taking after an intervention from my mother. My friends know bipolar people and they describe them I don't have bipolar or mood swings.
After many years of women treating me like garbage ignoring me, finally I have good ones as friends who treat me with respect.
When people ask when I ask the year I was born 1977, most of the time they don't believe me? One person recently though it was 1987. I use to be ashamed but a lot of cool things happened in 1977.
My 18 to my entire 20s was the worst years of my life. Being ignored then being betrayed by fake friends. Then ignored again made me not trust people for 15 years. After my sister nearly died I took a chance and slowly started to trust people again. Now I have a full network of true friends that I trust for support. The 40s are the best years of my life.
I though my new Christian friend I meet at the coffee shop finally ghosted me because I been trauma dumping on so much in text messages. The last text was actually positive. She just got back to me two days later just now apologize because she was sick. She is so kind. -
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