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Tony Ramirez

Tony Ramirez

V.I.P Member
Alone Aspie grapples fear of unlove and rejection 48 From Brooklyn, NY
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  • Tony Ramirez
    It's true most of the time woman don't come up to you for a conversation you have to come up to them no matter how difficult it is.
    View previous comments…
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    I am also finding out that doing it is not as impossible as it seems.
    AdamG
    AdamG
    How I ended up meeting my partner was in a class we both took. I tried talking to her every week for 7 weeks until I did. It was scary, heck yes. But I'm so glad I did.
    S
    Steelbookcollector217
    Adam, you said you didn't meet your wife until your 40s right? i assume you had girlfriends in your 20s
    Tony Ramirez
    Just now a woman who I thought was stuck up to me in yoga class today politely said bye Tony after class. She's been too a few of my classes. I judge woman too easily.
    M
    Mary Terry
    I think you do judge women too harshly but you're making progress, Tony. Keep on being friendly, be open to everyone, try to start up a little conversation with people you encounter and remember that every interaction you have with other people is a step forward. It takes a lot of practice.
    AdamG
    AdamG
    Women may often be shy to start conversations. "Stuck up" might just be "introverted". I'm glad you started thinking about this.
    AdamG
    AdamG
    speaking of which, I've been called "Snobby" or "Stuck Up" so many times. But I'm not. I'm afraid to talk, and in conversations, I don't know what to say.
    Tony Ramirez
    Approached another woman I don't know at the church lunch today. We had a long conversation. Only big regret was I did not exchange numbers. I hope I see her again. If I see her I will talk to her.
    AdamG
    AdamG
    That is wonderful news. You have really made some progress :) And, now you can look forward to seeing her again to get her number too.
    Tony Ramirez
    Though my week was going to be good but started out real bad. Hurt my foot. Tripped over a sheet. In pain. Ruined my plans. Might not be able to do yoga or the gym for a few days.
    Tony Ramirez
    I actually talked to a attractive woman after yoga class. She did not scream, run away or was rude to me. She was friendly back. Yes my hands were shaking and I was nervous but I did it.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    I just wish it gets easier each time.
    MildredHubble
    MildredHubble
    It will! I believe it takes 27 attempts at something to become comfortable and confident with it, that's the theory anyway! Why not have a little chat with her every time you see her? If she seems like she has to rush off don't take it personally. Just be like if she wants to talk great if she doesn't, ah no big deal. Like the guy in the movie Office Space! Worth a watch :-)
    Gerald Wilgus
    Gerald Wilgus
    Now you need to learn the signals of interest in you from the women you are approaching.
    Tony Ramirez
    Had another sleepless night last night. I was so tired doing yoga. I did therapy by phone. I skipped the gym as I did it four days this week. I was able to take a nap. Why can't I sleep at night like I use to this week.?
    AdamG
    AdamG
    I don't think skipping 1 day at the gym is a big deal. It is sometimes recommended to take days off to rest the body - let the muscles heal. Sorry about sleeping difficulties too, I get that one big time.
    Tony Ramirez
    Slept great last night. Of course I took my Seroquel again last night. I stupidity stopped talking it this week as an experiment to try to lose more weight but it messed with my anxiety and sleep. I am back on it at night again.
    MildredHubble
    MildredHubble
    I take that, or at least a bargain basement generic, NHS preferred version. It's definitely not a good idea to miss a dose. I get quite sick, can't sleep at all and my skin itches if I don't take mine. If you are worried about weight gain it may be a good idea to talk to your doctor. I think in the US doctors are more willing to prescribe appetite suppressants. So may be worth a try :)
    AdamG
    AdamG
    Is there something you could take which doesn't prompt weight gain? If you haven't talked to your doctor about it, it may be worth it.
    Tony Ramirez
    I am having trouble sleeping at night again and no it's not worrying about my lack of a relationship. I don't understand why.
    tripleU
    tripleU
    Same but because I am too excited to have a long dream then have it again but a bit different, and in between I have a smaller dream in it and there is a lot talking in them. I can fill a whole novel with them.
    AdamG
    AdamG
    I go through cycles of insomnia. Nothing I've found works for it, other than just staying up. Not pleasant.
    Tony Ramirez
    I think it's all in my mind that woman don't talk to me. Three woman talked to me from church. I asked two of them what were there plans for the day.
    AdamG
    AdamG
    I know you don't like my comments for some reason. But here goes. :) It takes being relaxed and at least a little confident. Good job.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Thanks.
    Tony Ramirez
    Another summer's approaching and I still don't have a girlfriend or even a first date.
    blue_bird
    blue_bird
    I don't even bother about it now. The way I see it is, If I'm meant to be alone, I'm meant to be alone. I try to focus on what I can control.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    It's kind of hard where I see it everywhere every damn day.
    Tony Ramirez
    I want my extreme tunnel vision to end to think every time I see a woman around my age or younger she has a boyfriend or a husband.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    I think it would be very helpful and even happier for you to see beyond this issue. I hope you get there.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    I hope so. Walking outside all I can think when I pass woman is boyfriend, husband, husband, boyfriend, boyfriend, husband. Drives me nuts and gives me a headache.
    tree
    tree
    You wish you had a way to control your thoughts.
    Tony Ramirez
    I either keep to myself but when my emotions build up I tend to overshare sometimes to people I know. I am afraid I will lose them because of this.
    tree
    tree
    Have you told those people that?
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Sometimes. They said they understand. They say no problem.
    tree
    tree
    But you continue to worry.
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