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Metalhead

Metalhead

V.I.P Member
Well-Known Member 46 From Bedlam
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  • Metalhead
    I have been in low key meltdown mode ever since my mother showed up at my door unannounced 12 hours ago.
    View previous comments…
    tree
    tree
    @MadFit
    If you were acquainted with any of the history involving Metalhead's family,
    you wouldn't ask that 2nd question.
    M
    MadFit
    Yeah I’m really sorry about that, that was a little callous.

    I scrolled down the profile to see a post about you feeling that your family being dismissive towards your feelings, seeing you as someone with severe cognitive defecits, and you therefore feeing angry and resentful. I’m very sorry to hear that!
    M
    MadFit
    I have high functioning autism so I’m not sure if it’s the same sort of thing you talk about, but when i get overwhelmed people think i’m incapable and all that
    Metalhead
    There is a bar a few blocks away and I have $60 cash in my wallet. The possibilities are endless. Maybe I should stay home instead.
    M
    MadFit
    Thank God I don’t really like alcohol!! But i DO like chocolate cocktails, go to a chocolate cocktail bar one day please ❤️
    Metalhead
    I want a few drinks, I want to escape reality, reality sucks.
    Atrapa Almas
    Atrapa Almas
    Drinking sucks more.
    M
    MadFit
    Drinking makes me feel depressed even if i was previously happy. Not entirely sure why
    Metalhead
    Flooded with a lifetime of resentments and anger, and the hopelessness that comes along with it all. These people are always going to be vicious in their dismissal of who I am and what I lived through. The gaslighting will never end with them. Nobody in my blood family recognizes that I am human.
    Atrapa Almas
    Atrapa Almas
    They are NPCs bro. The only character your controller works with is yourself.

    In the game of your life, you just can control yourself.

    You do have value by yourself. That you need them to validate you is a LIE. You dont need need.
    Misery
    Misery
    Here's a question: do you NEED to interact with them at all? If not, I'd say just cut ties all at once. They're clearly just a source of toxicity, from everything you've said.
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    I do not need to interact with them, but my mother made it clear today she knows where I live by showing up at my door without warning and inviting herself in my house, demanding I close the windows and turn on the heat for her, then smothering me with unwanted questions and telling me I am rude when I say I am kicking her out after an hour of that.
    Metalhead
    The holidays were extremely stressful for me. Hanging with extended family who my mother has convinced that I have severe cognitive disabilities was stressful. Having to keep a straight face throughout all of this was stressful. I need to change states ASAP.
    Metalhead
    I picked up a pint of churro ice cream. OK, this is not how somebody loses weight.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Omg. I bet that tastes good. I have tried churro's from my local hispanic store. Minneapolis had a thriving area of great bakeries and restaurants, and my daughter loved picking out treats. I love flan so l was stopping to pick that up.
    L
    Luca
    I’m having trouble losing weight too but churro ice cream sounds amazing.
    Metalhead
    I bought some fancy havarti with dill seasoning, going to greet the new year with that and some swanky crackers.
    Metalhead
    At the grocery store currently and it is a madhouse in here. Places like this are where civilization ends.
    LadyS
    LadyS
    I remember one time during a storm warning the grocery was packed with people stocking supplies..and I played REM's "It's the End of the World" from my phone. I got a few weird looks but a couple of laughs from the ones with a sense of humor.
    Metalhead
    I need some weed to get through the next couple of days. I do not want to feel anything at all right now.
    Metalhead
    I hate this time of year, especially this year. All bad memories come back to me as family and friends try to monopolize my life.
    Metalhead
    I really wanted some time to myself this week, but people in my life are completely denying me any of that, and that angers me.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Ouch. Why do so many people try to micromanage you? Are u too nice to them?
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    I assume most people think I have an intellectual disability, so they try to steer me around since they assume I am too stupid to take control of my own life. I hate most people. I am rapidly becoming a misanthrope.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    That reminds me of K-Flays song- I hate everybody---which l listen to because l feel like that too on bad days. I hate people who try to manipulate.
    Metalhead
    I feel subhuman. Like the scum of the earth. Maybe I should start a band and ride with this feeling, but I already am too old to join the 27 club, so that would be pointless.
    Crabcore
    Crabcore
    You should seriously start a band. Do you play any instruments? It's a lot of fun
    H
    Human Avatar
    You should who cares how old you are
    Metalhead
    I feel like making super spicy chicken soft tacos for lunch today. Unleash my inner masochist. Breathe fire.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    I can't get enough Jalapeño ranch dressing, l put it on tacos, coleslaw. I need to buy the Korean red chili powder, l like the heat.
    Metalhead
    I feel the need to buy some beer. But it is late and the weather outside sucks, so comfort trumps breaking my sobriety tonight.
    View previous comments…
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    @Metalhead
    Beer on a hot day with tacos. I am sticking to caffeine drinks and seltzer that has a little flavor like grapefruit. But l bought two pkgs of Mexican hot chocolate. It's hard circular chocolate, that you break up, then mix. It has cinnamon also.
    Shamar
    Shamar
    Congratulations on maintaining sobriety. It looks to be slowly getting easier for you. I remember a time when you would feel the need and nothing would stop you. I came across something today you might find interesting. You are not an alcoholic. You actually suffer from Chronic Ethanol Abuse Syndrome. Or at least did.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    My hat is off too you. What a great way to finish up the year. Sadly, liquor isn't good our bodies, so you will be youthful gamer giving up this
    Metalhead
    I wanted some alone time on my week off to play my games, but my friends have been denying me any alone time because they are worried about me.
    Metalhead
    My sponsor is hounding me to downgrade my Internet service since I have a gigabit connection with unlimited data and he disapproves of that.
    View previous comments…
    tree
    tree
    I was thinking he was probably not familiar enough with anime to
    know there is wide variety.
    Crabcore
    Crabcore
    Dang, remind me to never get a sponsor :D
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    You are a grown adult holding a responsible job, at what point did this idiot think you can't make responsible choices???? I hate people who micromanage me. You gave up liquor, (congrats on that :)). That leaves money for great internet service.
    Metalhead
    I just watched Evil Dead Trap. It was tasteless and offensive. Oh, and I see they made a sequel. Anybody want to guess what I am watching next?
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