Asperger's & Autism Forum

Mr. Stevens

When I was engaged, I thanked God she didn't want to get dressed up, hated rings, and wanted a small ceremony. Instead of a registry we were just going to have people bring food to the reception. I hope yours can be relatively easy.

GypsyMoth

It’s a transition. They’re both transitions. Honestly, each will probably have an element of difficulty. I graduated from grad school last May & I still fee disoriented. But it will pass. Life picks up a new ‘normal’. Give yourself time and permission to seek out & adapt to those new normals. I think you’ll do well.

Atrapa Almas

Your marriage doesnt need to be like the average social expected marriage. Talk with her about your needs and desires for your shared future and get a marriage that fill your shared needs and dreams. You are not marring society.

Gerontius

Thanks folks. I'm bad about falling asleep & not checking back. It's going to be pretty small if it happens (hopefully it will.) All it needs to be is Catholic & relatively inexpensive, and suitable for two autistic people.

GypsyMoth

No 'if's'. If you two have said that you will do this, then accept it and plan for it. Weddings take some work--but not too much work. No hopefully's or maybe's either. And it only has to be suitable for you two people, irrespective of anything else. As long as it works for the both of you, nothing else matters.

GypsyMoth

Just an idea, if it will be in summer, have you thought of an outdoor wedding? A lot of parks with beautiful views take wedding reservations. Botanical gardens, too, take reservations.

Gerontius

@GypsyMoth it's not finalized yet as to whether there's going to be marriage--I & Girlfriend have to get done with college, find careers, & call it good from there. Both of us will be graduated by 2024 and should be in full-time jobs by then.
The discussion will have to be held in some months.
As for outdoor, that's impossible as we would have to hold it in a Catholic church.

GypsyMoth

@Gerontius, if she's truly that special, then she's more special than school or work. Nobody ever said on their deathbed that they wished they had spent more time working. Rather, they always bemoan how they wished they had spent more time with family. If she's that special, it's okay to start thinking of her as family now, even before you're married. Do life together.

Gerontius

@GypsyMoth considering I met her in July, and we are both busy, we are currently trying to get to know each other better and are both fairly slow at decisions. It is going well but I am not entering into something where I cannot be financially solvent. I am not worth her going destitute.

GypsyMoth

@Gerontius, you do what you need to do and at the pace that feels best to the both of you. I hope I haven't misread or miscast your relationship with her; if so, I apologize. I'm just happy for the two of you.

Gerontius

@GypsyMoth I admit I wrote the original status update while in a particularly bad state of mind--I'm not fond of crowds and am having some particularly bad psychological stuff going on lately. Girlfriend & I are of course in pretty good condition; she's the one good part of all this and she says I'm a lot of help to her. It's mutual.

Gerontius

I've not been well lately, and it affects the quality of my writing. I've had to deal with some pretty bad fear/whatever to the point of wanting to throw up. This is about family stuff and about most other things related to executive functioning. It's not great. I am slightly better now.

GypsyMoth

@Gerontius, if you want to reach out by PM, I’d be happy to listen.

Btw, she sounds amazing. I like her.