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Asperger's & Autism Forum

TheName
TheName
Why won't You try online dating?
Markness
Markness
I have tried it before.
TheName
TheName
Just carry on;) Never endless possibilities out there on tinder etc... And hey... It's like with lottery, you won't win if you don't play;)
O
Owliet
I think with online dating, it is not always simply off the first go. My sister who is not ASD Was on tinder for about 2 years and had some really bad experiences with the men she spoke to on there Until she met her boyfriend, who was about to delete his account. Also, dont have a time span on finding someone.
O
Owliet
I get the depressed and lonely aspect but if you have a clock plan for attaining these things, and it hasn’t happened the depression gets worse. I did something similar with wanting a job. And whilst it did not help that we had a pandemic, I had to remove the plan that i would have one by this amount of time and if not I was a failure.
O
Owliet
Although I know that it isn’t easy to change this plan idea. Think of the progress you’ve made this year (I think you mentioned that you were on a course?) and think of those positives as achievements because it is so easy to just not do anything at all.
Markness
Markness
@Owliet I think what frustrated me the most was that whenever my father did online dating (Although his motive was more to have “mistresses” and this lead to him getting into all sorts of trouble. Even when he got married, he still did it!), it worked out for him. When I did it, I didn’t get the same results. The frustration got to where my head would literally get hot and start hurting.
Markness
Markness
@Owliet I think the clock plan developed from having a family who is constantly seeking victories even to the expense of their health. Having this trait is not fun. How can I get rid of it?
Markness
Markness
@Owliet Yes, I am in a creative writing course. I am getting good grades and positive feedback in it.
O
Owliet
Don’t compare yourself to your dad of what he used online dating for. Some people just really like to hook up and this is not something that you should hold as a focus of what worked and what didnt. But you also dont want to meet any crazy ones or those who will take advantage of you (I have had both). It is frustrating but there is someone out there.
O
Owliet
Yes, my mom used to be similar with mentioning friends children and what they were achieving. Whilst I was not achieving those things at the time. Now, it is a bit different because she may say it but I say “ok, that’s nice.“
O
Owliet
It took me a while to get through it myself, and I still have work to do With it but just change your mind to focus on what you’re currently doing, and past achievements because you will never be happy if you have this outline of what you expect to happen in the next year and it doesn’t.
O
Owliet
Good that you’re on the creative writing course and receiving good grades! See, you’re already achieveing something already — not many people have the drive to work like that.=).
Gerald Wilgus
Gerald Wilgus
Markness, life's experiences do not come with a use-by date. Live in the present and relish every day. I know that there are windows in life when appropriate experiences are needed for growth, and I missed many. Yet you still can work to be a noticeable and attractive person . . . but you need to get out of your head.
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