I must survive the same way a computer program survives: Find the best moved, and run them till i succeed. Then write another program to do the same.
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My mind is expanding rapidly. My whole mind, from my third eye to the pineal gland to everything psionic i do for my family, it's learned how a computer analyzes, calculates and executes everything; its learned to... Become a computer. An operating system. Its learning to help me cope.
Now I just got told i have to go to the doctor tomorrow about my L4. Yaaay. Even MORE anxiety.
Why can't I just be in a coma for a while...
Maddog is on the phone with tech support for the plasma center and somehow went from explaining the problem he's having to telling his whole life story.
Latest Nethack comedy: Monk character was killed by bees after tripping over a statue of a newt.
If you were to ask me just how i'm doing right now i'd say "Right now I hate all cats, am enjoying the hour long high from tobacco in my pipe that feels identical to indica because i don't have any d8 right now, i'm drowning my sorrows in a roguelike dungeon crawler from the 1970s and 80s, and i live in my bedroom because i've developed and omnivert case of agoraphobia both inside and outside my own home."
Sister's cat knocked over a glass of water at the computer desk. Keyboard does not work anymore. Foaming at the mouth. Trying not to go to prison for animal cruelty.
Was sleeping so wondefully then I had to get woken by parents fighting downstairs >_>
God i wish you guys could hang in my room with me so i could pass this delta preroll my mother got for me. Ya'll be rollin all over the floor on my dirty clothes lol
checkers
Hi friends, I am in trance right now for my hypnotherapy. I'll wake up in a little bit.
Feeling a little better today. Emphasis on "a little". Learning probability math as part of my therapy.
Since the local smoke shop is out of flower, i am now putting tobacco in my weed bowl; it feels nearly identical. Don't know how long i've got now, but i won't have to worry about being autistic for long now!!! Soon Maddog or anyone else for that matter will never take advantage of my autism ever again!!!!
"When society favors evil like a cheap wine, the devil goes missing, and faith is hidden by dampening clouds. There is no such thing as peace on earth; that is merely children's stories." - Anonymous
I'm in a coma. I see that now. I didn't just hurt my pelvis when i fell off my front porch. I hit my head too. I fell on my head and now i'm in a coma. My real life isn't this hectic. My real real life isn't like this i know it isn't! I'm in a coma and i'm having a nightmare!!
Woke up this morning feeling completely numb to the way my life is. I didn't cry, I didn't scoff in exasperated frustration, I just didn't feel anything towards the day beginning. I've just come to accept and make peace with the fact that this is life for me now and it will never change to get better. Crying over it, trying to fight it away, getting angry at Maddog for all of it... It does nothing. Survival mode ON
Just woke up, waiting for my mother to give me the rest of my meds when she does too.... and as usual, I'm not looking forward to much...
Woke up crying. Went back to sleep crying.
Hohff, pillows and weighted blanket feels softer than usual...
I am so stressed this morning. -
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