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Asperger's & Autism Forum

UberScout
UberScout
You're invisible at the park because everyone is invisible when they go there. Parks are like everyone's little slice of the Oasis; people don't communicate there because they don't go there to have meetings or conversations, they go there to bond and have fun, forget about the stress that's in their lives. They're not ignoring you, they're ignoring what stress does to other people.
Tony Ramirez
Tony Ramirez
Except they had a park hangout event to socialize, and no one came up to me. This happened three times at that park, so I am never going to their events again.
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I'm depressed. I hate cliques.

Once again my local park was doing a hangout. Got there earlier and sat and waited while they settled up. By 6:15 it was loaded with people and once again no one came up to me. I was so bored I was listening to WWV time channel. I waited until 6:50 pm then I left listening to Gamadrone. Not...
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W
Wizardry
How many people did you approach at the park hangout?

If none, why does it make sense to you to expect people to approach you if you aren't willing to approach others?
Tony Ramirez
Tony Ramirez
You sound just like a neurotypical.
W
Wizardry
It's unbecoming to accuse people of not being autistic when you don't know anything about them.
W
Wizardry
Buddy, I'm trying to help you here. I have empathy for your plight. I know what it's like to feel like the outsider everywhere you go. I'm just trying to explain to you that waiting for other people to initiate conversation with you all the time is an ineffective social strategy, and will often see anyone who tries it sidelined in the context of a group. Especially if the other people there already know each other.
W
Wizardry
Put yourself in their shoes. If you were in their clique, would you be initiating conversations with 'outsiders'? Or would you just want to have conversations with people you already know because it's easier, familiar and you already know what to talk about?
W
Wizardry
Aspie or not, I'd say most people who know each other in a group context are going to prefer to talk to the people they already know than initiate conversations with people they don't know, so if you're going to these gatherings expecting people to initiate conversations with you just because you want them to, it's wise to be prepared for that not to happen.
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