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UberScout

UberScout

V.I.P Member
Please Don't Be Mad At Me 02/09/1996 29
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  • UberScout
    I don't know if I'll ever find out the one thing that made me perpetually on-and-off suicidal... Does God even want me to find out?
    UberScout
    Ugh. I woke up with a stuffy nose and a sore throat just now. I hope Maddog still doesn't want me to donate plasma.
    UberScout
    I've decided to try reality shifting. Maybe it will be good for me somehow. Either way, it's time for a vacation...
    Gerontius
    Might be time to move house. Go move out, land a part-time job, call it good. Might take some work but it'd be a more creative solution that would turn you loose to do whatever creative things you want to. Surprisingly not as hard as it seems.
    L
    Luca
    Yes, I agree with this 100%!! Moving out of my parents’ house was one of the best things I’ve ever done for my mental health!
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    ^^what she said! I actually get along decently well with my family but still--get to a certain age & it's good to hit the road, Jack!
    UberScout
    UberScout
    ...
    UberScout
    Working. I need to know if anybody knows something more intensive. Hypnosis files via Youtube work pretty well, but they aren't enough some
    UberScout
    Somebody on here, anybody. I need your help. My anxiety had maxed out and Maddog is up to *here* with it. Traditional methods are not
    L
    Luca
    Sometimes when traditional methods for dealing with anxiety aren’t working for me, I just need to leave the situation and get a change of scenery. Preferably while listening to music. Try going outside and walking around the block, or run if you want. You don’t need a particular destination, just make sure you’re safe.
    UberScout
    I'LL SHOW THEM ALL!!
    tree
    tree
    It would show them nothing at all, I believe. Nothing that you wish it would.
    Kirsty
    Kirsty
    If you can, just move away and start a family of your own then cut them out of your life.
    UberScout
    AND I'LL FINALLY SHOW EVERYBODY IN MY FAMILY WHAT TRUE DESPAIR LOOKS LIKE, SO THEY CAN FINALLY UNDERSTAND!
    tree
    tree
    Unlikely that's what they'd take away from the incident.
    UberScout
    None of it will matter anymore, and I will never have to complain or be upset about anything again! No more bad luck! No more panicking!
    UberScout
    All that anger, all this hatred for everything that won't leave my life, all this despair and pain....It won't matter anymore tomorrow!!
    UberScout
    God... I have never wanted to die so badly before. This feeling is so utterly new to me, I almost can't comprehend it.
    tree
    tree
    Actually, what I've noticed is that your feelings seem to come as a constant surprise to you.
    UberScout
    Hang in there.... And in 24 more hours I can finally say goodbye to this perpetual hell I'm in.
    tree
    tree
    Yep. You could, theoretically, move out.
    UberScout
    Maddog is drinking, my mother is crying at it, morale is once again compromised. Day 2 of 3. All i have to do is hang in there.
    tree
    tree
    Offing yourself is not exactly the most imaginative solution. And a scheduled suicide is not 'hanging in there.'
    UberScout
    Either I've officially gone crazy or I've somehow learned how to subconsciously transmute negativity into positivity...!
    tree
    tree
    Attaining skill at maintaining equilibrium doesn't mean craziness at all.
    L
    Luca
    I’ve been working on it too, Uberscout! Definitely not crazy! :) I’m so happy you’re finding some positivity :)
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    That's called sanity and keeping an even keel. Glad to hear it.
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