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Recent content by Maria91

  1. Maria91

    Understanding my partner, suspected ASD & AvPD

    That is serious food for thought, and may ultimately be the only solution or best course of action. I said the same to him, if we can't get back on the same page, we would be better off apart. I have no intention of staying in a deeply unhappy relationship for years (as some do), but I (we) are...
  2. Maria91

    Understanding my partner, suspected ASD & AvPD

    I agree that I'm part of the problem, I'm an assertive individual who doesn't hesitate to get the outcome I desire, and I don't think he's well equipped to deal with my assertiveness, although he assures me that it's one of the things he likes about me (to an extent). I don't set out to...
  3. Maria91

    Understanding my partner, suspected ASD & AvPD

    I appreciate that. I can try to offer what I do know from his own perspective, what he has posted about previously in other forums, and pretty much what he has said to me. He said that from a very young age, his mother often invalidated him as a child, their household was very much centred on...
  4. Maria91

    Understanding my partner, suspected ASD & AvPD

    I like that he's thoughtful in many areas (despite some times being clearly unthoughtful). He puts great care into choosing gifts he thinks I'll like, ranging from concert tickets to my favourite bands, or books from my favourite authors. He gets me chocolate & wine & my favourite sweets (I...
  5. Maria91

    Understanding my partner, suspected ASD & AvPD

    Mary dismissed everything I said about my partner and went for the low-hanging fruit that is "You have BPD, you're the problem". Which is not very intellectually or emotionally insightful... She said absolutely nothing of use, I'd have more respect for her if she did. I don't do the whole...
  6. Maria91

    Understanding my partner, suspected ASD & AvPD

    Well this is turning out to be constructive.
  7. Maria91

    Understanding my partner, suspected ASD & AvPD

    Why I am rude? Because I corrected incorrect assumptions and offered the thanks deserved?
  8. Maria91

    Understanding my partner, suspected ASD & AvPD

    With respect, I didn't say I knew if he had ASD or not. I'm simply highlighting that he spent several years thinking he did have ASD. Is this irrelevant? You're making a lot of assumptions here. I only quoted his feelings about his mother, I didn't even reference mine, and I didn't reference...
  9. Maria91

    Hey, Newbie seeking input..

    Thanks :D
  10. Maria91

    Understanding my partner, suspected ASD & AvPD

    Now his false bravado has been dropped, he's just a nervous presence to be around. he socially isolates himself, and is happy playing stupid puzzle games on his phone all day, happily oblivious to the rest of the world around him... Unless he wants cuddles or sex, he can be quite needy in that...
  11. Maria91

    Understanding my partner, suspected ASD & AvPD

    We are like two opposite people, totally contrasting the fact that we thought we had found kindred spirits in each other. I first realised something was really wrong when I discovered the lies. I felt completely duped. I'm not usually a person who can be fooled, but this "nice guy" completely...
  12. Maria91

    Understanding my partner, suspected ASD & AvPD

    I'm quite well functioning outside of interpersonal relationships, but it's relationships that are my downfall. I had a difficult childhood, but I'll spare you the details, the ultimate outcome is that I really struggle with trust & intimacy. My history before this relationship is one of short...
  13. Maria91

    Understanding my partner, suspected ASD & AvPD

    Hey, I was hoping some of you may be able to help me understand my partner better. It's a long post, so I hope you're bored enough to read it :) We've been together 2 and a half years, and have a 6 month old child together. We met online, on a MBTI forum, and dated long distance for 18 months...
  14. Maria91

    Hey, Newbie seeking input..

    Hey, I'm new. Came across this forum whilst googling "the spectrum", I think there's a chance my partner may be an "Aspie", so I'll be seeking some advice on that in the relevant sub-forum. Maria.
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