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Recent content by Chard

  1. C

    NT asking coparent for help

    So asking me to verbally talk things through for him when I struggle with stringing words together right is a recipe for disaster.
  2. C

    NT asking coparent for help

    I have my own issues and get non-verbal or unable to use the right words when overwhelmed— I think this is an important part of why things don’t work. It is easier to do myself than to have to verbally communicate when stressed/multitasking— so that is my default— but sometimes I just cannot do...
  3. C

    NT asking coparent for help

    I’m also laughing, because with the baby example— I realized, well, I always know the part around the end of cooking when you try and get everything hot together at once is difficult— why the heck DIDN’T I anticipate that? Think I may make setting the table for the next meal part of clearing...
  4. C

    NT asking coparent for help

    I like the ask and find idea. I think I need to see if I can ask so doing without asking questions is implied. Maybe, “could you take over being in charge of x?”
  5. C

    NT asking coparent for help

    I definately see the need to give warning, and can do that as much as possible. I guess from a NT perspective, it’s more work because if you don’t, there’s a chance that the other will help on their own, which feels good, and then both you and they have to remember, and you in effect, have to...
  6. C

    NT asking coparent for help

    Hi- after dating someone who is autistic, I realized that my ex-husband likely is as well. We try and get along decently because of kids, and end up spending holidays together. Which involves doing tasks together- and me asking him to help. When I was first with him, I was uber independent...
  7. C

    Priorities and dating someone with Autism Spectrum Disorder

    Is trouble with scheduling/scheduling to allow enough time for a partner an AS thing? In other words, is it likely I will need to take on that piece of emotional labor to actually see him? I usually try and keep it even with the work in that with both of us to allow both of us to be invested...
  8. C

    Priorities and dating someone with Autism Spectrum Disorder

    I think it might be a good discussion to have, if the opportunity arises. We have an enjoyable online friendship, right now— we backed off from a romantic relationship for logistical reasons. Possibility is still on the table. I love the insight about being matter of fact. That HASN’T...
  9. C

    Priorities and dating someone with Autism Spectrum Disorder

    Would the “safety” aspect also explain why he upped his involvement with something he was doing tri-weekly to weekly when we got involved — sometimes to the detriment of getting to meet? If dating is complex and shaky, it might. Whereas I would tend to keep or decrease other commitments when...
  10. C

    Priorities and dating someone with Autism Spectrum Disorder

    Thank you— this is great- this is really what I need. The “need to be alone and engage the mind”- I get that. I actually share the hobby— except I do it professionally— and yes, it is amazing how deep he goes. That’s, I think, while it feels odd— I KNOW what you can get away with and...
  11. C

    Priorities and dating someone with Autism Spectrum Disorder

    Hi all, I would really appreciate some guidance, even if only to better understand. I talked with someone on an online dating site who was all I could possibly hope- kind, intelligent, knew the right things to say. It came the time to meet, and we did, and my very first impression of him...
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