I don't just do this, I embody this. It took me a while to realize this to fully comprehend this. Because my default state is sheer detachment. It never occurred to me that I could perhaps use that as a weapon to push new people away. Or keep the people I care about from getting in. It's like they(those I care about) know me but not really. One person does. Which is an odd feeling to have that one person in your life that truly knows you. I mean at least as much as they can. Cause no one can truly no another. Not even themselves.
No this tendency I think stems from a lot of factors. That have been buried deep inside. From the few traumas I've had which I've consistently downplayed. Mostly cause I never viewed them as that bad when comparing them to others. But then later realizing that it doesn't matter cause trauma is trauma. Your body an mind doesn't give a **** if it was or wasn't as bad as someone else's. All it knows and feels is that it has it period. The comparison just adds unnecessary complications that serve no purpose other than to just cause confusion.
I suppose I write this to bring light to an affliction that maybe others have. Maybe there are those who relate. I don't know, personally I find it hard to relate to most people. As I can only relate to myself. But I use my imagination and expression to relate to people better. To varying results I'm sure.
Again I dunno take what I say with a grain of salt or don't. Take it and use it to better understand yourself or don't.
Whatever you do don't take what I write as an excuse to double down on your own afflictions. There is almost always no future in it. At least from my meager anecdotal perspective anyways.
No this tendency I think stems from a lot of factors. That have been buried deep inside. From the few traumas I've had which I've consistently downplayed. Mostly cause I never viewed them as that bad when comparing them to others. But then later realizing that it doesn't matter cause trauma is trauma. Your body an mind doesn't give a **** if it was or wasn't as bad as someone else's. All it knows and feels is that it has it period. The comparison just adds unnecessary complications that serve no purpose other than to just cause confusion.
I suppose I write this to bring light to an affliction that maybe others have. Maybe there are those who relate. I don't know, personally I find it hard to relate to most people. As I can only relate to myself. But I use my imagination and expression to relate to people better. To varying results I'm sure.
Again I dunno take what I say with a grain of salt or don't. Take it and use it to better understand yourself or don't.
Whatever you do don't take what I write as an excuse to double down on your own afflictions. There is almost always no future in it. At least from my meager anecdotal perspective anyways.
