Two days ago I had a bit of a meltdown. I was so upset after two phone calls that day and i had turned my music up SO loud while washing dishes to calm me down, and I didn't hear my husband walk in the door after work and he decided to play a friendly joke of "spooking" me which caused me to react in a way that I wasn't proud of. I got so scared that I screamed and my 'fight or flight' senses made me throw the dish at him because for a millisecond I thought he was an intruder (did I leave the front door unlocked?). I immediately started balling and shouted at him "DONT EVER DO THAT!!!!!!" and pushed him away as he tried to apologize and give me a hug. I was not havin it at that point.
Prior to this meltdown, something was telling me to reach out to my older sister. This thought had actually been happening for days. I reached out to her (she didn't reach out to me) to see if she had the necessities she needed for her and my niece and nephew. She had to recently put a restraining order on my niece and nephew's dad, laid off from her job cuz of the coronavirus, the small town she lives in barely gets good internet service out there so I'm sure my niece and nephew have been not doing all of their schoolwork online at home like they're supposed to, and the only library out there is closed so they can't do it there. I'm sure she has been really stressed out about everything. I know I would be!! So I wanted to send her some money to make ends meet and get bare necessities for her and the kids. We live in different states.
As long as I can remember, everyone always told me NOT to give money to my family once I started earning it. I understand some were just looking out for my best interest, but how do they really know what MY best interest is? Anyway, as the youngest of six children, only two of us tend to be money savvy and own our home (i am one of the two). They just haven't educated themselves about it enough and do not have a 'good relationship' with money. But, sometimes you are damned if you have it and damned if you don't. I wanted to just send her money to her bank account, but couldn't because her ex had drained it and put it $500 in the negative. My mom lives in the same town, so I thought I'll just send it to my mom's account instead and then they can go to the bank together and withdraw the money. Simple, ya? Pff..i sent her a quick text about it and then called my mom and before I can even say "how are you, mom?" She starts talking all fast and going on an on about how she was mad at my sister for not returning a weed-eater she borrowed a few weeks back or somthing. I'm like 'Mom, really?...who cares about a weed-eater right now in times like this?..I'm concerned about my sister, and more so the kids' wellbeing.' She did NOT want me to send her any money. She kept giving me letters in her account number, persistent about giving me a routing number which i already knew and in my head im thinking 'come on mom, im not that stupid. I know for a fact that this bank does not put letters in their account numbers and i know what a routing number is.' Naturally i kept saying "Sorry mom, can you repeat that one more time?" She says, "if you say sorry one more time im going to be PIST!"...not even 30 secs later, she's telling ME that she's sorry in the same way that i was. (ex: sorry, let me ready this back again) UGGHHH!!!!. Maybe my mom thought my sister was lying for some reason and she didnt need the money. Highly unlikely, but okay. Her irritation triggered my irritation. NOT EVEN 2 minutes later, my husbands aunt calls me (who NEVER calls me). I dont know why i answered, but i missed her call the other day and she told on me to my mother-in-law that i didnt answer her call. I was alittle abrupt because i hadnt had a chance to calm myself down yet after the call w my mom, and she INSISTED i tell her whats wrong and all i wanted to do was hang up on her and get off the phone. but that's bad manners, right? I would just get told on again anyway. So, i told her what was up and she said the same thing DO NOT SEND YOUR SISTER ANY MONEY! She's a grown ass woman and can figure it out! OMG-- who the hell are they to tell me how to spend my money?? and dont EVEN act like you havent been in a jam before. HOLY crap , my blood was BOILING in a matter of like 20 mins..i felt so bad and apologized to my husband afterward about throwing the dish and taking it out on him. He understood, and listened to everything i had to say and was perfectly fine w sending my sis the money.
I ended up just sending her a moneygram to the local grocery store and didnt care about the extra fees at this point. I should of known better to get my mom involved. My sister sent me a text of her groceries and paid her past due water bill, gas in her tank, Easter stuff for the kids, etc. It was a small amount, but made a huge impact for her. I was grateful to even be able to do it.
So today...i get a text from my mom that says..."thanks for helping your sister"--- it took everything in me to not text back, YEAH NO THANKS TO YOU MOMMY DEAREST!--sometimes the best way to win an argument is to avoid it, so i just sent her a 'thumbs up' emoji and left it at that.
Prior to this meltdown, something was telling me to reach out to my older sister. This thought had actually been happening for days. I reached out to her (she didn't reach out to me) to see if she had the necessities she needed for her and my niece and nephew. She had to recently put a restraining order on my niece and nephew's dad, laid off from her job cuz of the coronavirus, the small town she lives in barely gets good internet service out there so I'm sure my niece and nephew have been not doing all of their schoolwork online at home like they're supposed to, and the only library out there is closed so they can't do it there. I'm sure she has been really stressed out about everything. I know I would be!! So I wanted to send her some money to make ends meet and get bare necessities for her and the kids. We live in different states.
As long as I can remember, everyone always told me NOT to give money to my family once I started earning it. I understand some were just looking out for my best interest, but how do they really know what MY best interest is? Anyway, as the youngest of six children, only two of us tend to be money savvy and own our home (i am one of the two). They just haven't educated themselves about it enough and do not have a 'good relationship' with money. But, sometimes you are damned if you have it and damned if you don't. I wanted to just send her money to her bank account, but couldn't because her ex had drained it and put it $500 in the negative. My mom lives in the same town, so I thought I'll just send it to my mom's account instead and then they can go to the bank together and withdraw the money. Simple, ya? Pff..i sent her a quick text about it and then called my mom and before I can even say "how are you, mom?" She starts talking all fast and going on an on about how she was mad at my sister for not returning a weed-eater she borrowed a few weeks back or somthing. I'm like 'Mom, really?...who cares about a weed-eater right now in times like this?..I'm concerned about my sister, and more so the kids' wellbeing.' She did NOT want me to send her any money. She kept giving me letters in her account number, persistent about giving me a routing number which i already knew and in my head im thinking 'come on mom, im not that stupid. I know for a fact that this bank does not put letters in their account numbers and i know what a routing number is.' Naturally i kept saying "Sorry mom, can you repeat that one more time?" She says, "if you say sorry one more time im going to be PIST!"...not even 30 secs later, she's telling ME that she's sorry in the same way that i was. (ex: sorry, let me ready this back again) UGGHHH!!!!. Maybe my mom thought my sister was lying for some reason and she didnt need the money. Highly unlikely, but okay. Her irritation triggered my irritation. NOT EVEN 2 minutes later, my husbands aunt calls me (who NEVER calls me). I dont know why i answered, but i missed her call the other day and she told on me to my mother-in-law that i didnt answer her call. I was alittle abrupt because i hadnt had a chance to calm myself down yet after the call w my mom, and she INSISTED i tell her whats wrong and all i wanted to do was hang up on her and get off the phone. but that's bad manners, right? I would just get told on again anyway. So, i told her what was up and she said the same thing DO NOT SEND YOUR SISTER ANY MONEY! She's a grown ass woman and can figure it out! OMG-- who the hell are they to tell me how to spend my money?? and dont EVEN act like you havent been in a jam before. HOLY crap , my blood was BOILING in a matter of like 20 mins..i felt so bad and apologized to my husband afterward about throwing the dish and taking it out on him. He understood, and listened to everything i had to say and was perfectly fine w sending my sis the money.
I ended up just sending her a moneygram to the local grocery store and didnt care about the extra fees at this point. I should of known better to get my mom involved. My sister sent me a text of her groceries and paid her past due water bill, gas in her tank, Easter stuff for the kids, etc. It was a small amount, but made a huge impact for her. I was grateful to even be able to do it.
So today...i get a text from my mom that says..."thanks for helping your sister"--- it took everything in me to not text back, YEAH NO THANKS TO YOU MOMMY DEAREST!--sometimes the best way to win an argument is to avoid it, so i just sent her a 'thumbs up' emoji and left it at that.