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Asperger's & Autism Forum

L
Luca
I do have friends irl that I love and trust, but I always end up in this cycle with new friends, and “friends of friends.” I think I’d be better off sticking to what I know and not messing with trying to open new doors.
Shaddock
Shaddock
sounds like you´re frustrated and disappointed and that you have fears that you could get hurt again, so you act like a turtle, who gets back into his house, to protect himself. the question is how much it protects you and how much it prevents you from making new experiences and contacts. how much it restricts you and how much it´s important for you.
Shaddock
Shaddock
I think black and white is never helpful, black would be to make no new friends and white is too be friends with everyone. sounds a bit like me when i self-isolated, not the same case, but maybe similar thoughts and feelings.
Shaddock
Shaddock
and you could for example loose your current friends and then you need new one and it´s not good to be too dependent on one or a few people. i think your decision to make friends should depend on the singular person itself. when you don´t need new friends, then it´s something different then just fearing to make new friends.
Shaddock
Shaddock
maybe singular persons are better then group contact for you? what do you think? maybe try both.
L
Luca
I think I do better one on one than in groups. Especially groups of other females.
Shaddock
Shaddock
i also dislike groups. i think my strength is to speak under 4 eyes. so i can fully concentrate on one person and others don´t distract me while that. and i can not concentrate on multiple persons on the same time. also i can speak around 50% and in groups i speak around 0-5% lol. i think groups with mixed female and male are always better than just male or female, but maybe i´m wrong.
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