Asperger's & Autism Forum

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Luca

Most of the time, my interactions with friends-of-friends end VERY badly, usually with them bullying me or hating me. I understand that I'm not the right fit for everyone in terms of personality, but still. I told him that I'm not comfortable interacting with strangers, especially in a closed environment like that. He is still trying to convince me to go but idk. I have enough issues trusting anyone at all.

Callistemon

Me, you couldn't pay me enough to get me into a nightclub. Or maybe a large sum and I'd do it like an anthropological exercise. But recreationally, it sounds as much fun as pulling out my nose hairs with tweezers.

Callistemon

Stick to your boundaries and don't do things that you know make you uncomfortable without a good reason for YOU. E.g. if you fear public speaking you can decide to take classes in it to overcome that fear. I did that because I wanted to become a teacher. Not for someone else's birthday.

Callistemon

If he's a real friend he will respect your boundaries, if not, keep shopping for a better friend.

You could suggest nightclubs are definitely not your thing but offer him an outing or activity for his birthday that you would be comfortable with. Like shout him coffee and cake somewhere, or a visit to a zoo or whatever you both would be happy with.

Callistemon

You could make him a birthday voucher listing various options you would be comfortable with.

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Luca

I love nightclubs. They're not the problem lol. The problem is that I don't trust people that I don't know. And I'm worried that they're the type of people who would view me having a service dog as an embarrassment. She will be fine in the club, I told them I can only be upstairs by the bar where it is quieter. But I don't know these people at all so I have no idea how they would feel about me.

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Luca

I would love to go to a nightclub with my other friends, without worrying about strangers joining us. I was thinking about inviting my other new friend and her boyfriend, but I think that would be too many people.

Callistemon

Ah, OK. Here, nightclubs are generally full of people you don't know unless you hire them for a private function!

Callistemon

Or maybe you mean, being forced to interact with people you don't know? It's interesting how our sensitivities differ. For me, nightclub = noisy, strobe lights, tons of people you can't get to know because you can't hear them or they you, lots of drunks and leering. At least the stereotypical places here in Australia.