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Recent content by Lillian2

  1. L

    I'm new and a bit lost

    Thank you Tom - I agree being firm is the best thing. When he is not in meltdown mode, he is very reasonable and I have told him very firmly that he needs to remove himself if he feels it coming on (and of course I also have to remove myself). We have come up with a rule - if he goes into his...
  2. L

    I'm new and a bit lost

    Thank you!!
  3. L

    I'm new and a bit lost

    You didn't offend me at all - he is basically my husband, but we are just both not interested in marriage. We know we want to be together forever though ideally (if this doesn't get too much!!). I think we work a little better together most of the time because I also love isolation, I love...
  4. L

    NT partner looking for help.

    This is exactly what I was going through with my partner when we first moved in together. It just never occurred to him to do things, and he always remembered too late ie. after someone else had done it (he lived in a share house before we moved in together and this was a problem for him - and...
  5. L

    I'm new and a bit lost

    Thank you so much for this reply Tunie , this has really helped. It is the violence issue that I'm worried about, but I know he has worked so hard to stop any meltdowns at all, and your point about things being internalised is a very good one - and probably why he lashed out more this time. I...
  6. L

    I'm new and a bit lost

    Thanks so much for your reply - I'm so glad to hear you have had progress. I know what you mean about loyalty - my partner is loyal to a fault (which I love of course, because I am the same). I can't tell you how great it is to hear that others have the same problem - not because you have a...
  7. L

    I'm new and a bit lost

    Nice to meet you too. My partner was diagnosed some years ago, before we got together, but he never dealt with a lot of the things he wants to deal with at the time because he was younger. So our first several years were difficult - we were constantly misunderstanding each other, but they are...
  8. L

    I'm new and a bit lost

    Thanks for the reply Suzanne. I think perhaps my wording may have made my intentions seem a little different from what they were. I'll reply to your comments in turn. Firstly, there is no way I am seeing AS as a problem that need to be fixed. I know he is AS, I love him for it, to be honest...
  9. L

    I'm new and a bit lost

    Thank you for the reply. I think you're right that I need to look at the precedent ie. if I leave him alone he reads for a while and then is fine. I know how hard he has been working to make sure he doesn't have meltdowns, I know how hard he works every day, I just feel so horrible about his...
  10. L

    I'm new and a bit lost

    Thank you :)
  11. L

    I'm new and a bit lost

    Hi all, I'm the partner of a man with Asperger's, and joined this site wondering if there is a spot for NT discussion regarding close relatives/partners with AS. My situation is probably a typical one, with perhaps some small differences. My AS partner is very loving, very caring. When we...
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