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Recent content by CuriousSpirit

  1. C

    The Love & Dating thread.

    Try OK Cupid. Take it seriously— Answer lots of questions honestly, put up some good photos, write a good profile. Then, answer the messages you'll get. Always check the match rating— Aim for 85% or better. Check what questions you answered differently from the other person— the "unacceptable"...
  2. C

    NT is feeling jealous and ignored

    Just re-reading all the great comments. I missed answering this one- Felix & I are getting into the catagory labled "elderly." Sex is not always in our repretoire of things to do. Like I said before we do well with that and many other activities. I've never felt the least bit like his main...
  3. C

    NT is feeling jealous and ignored

    Update and resolution: So, I met Beth, spent the weekend with her and Felix. Beth was very respectful to me and my relationship with Felix. Felix treated me very well. When Beth went to visit with her other friends, Felix surprised me and took me to a nice restaurant. (Fortunately I was wearing...
  4. C

    NT is feeling jealous and ignored

    Must go, I'll let people know what happens by September 16, 2014. again, thanks for keeping me sane. Now I will be able to proceed in a dignified way, a more enlightened person.
  5. C

    NT is feeling jealous and ignored

    Yes, there it is. Maybe it will come to pass. He said he would need to consider the repercusions, what they might be. Isn't extra-marital/relationships what many men and some women do without being open about it? One of Felix's best qualities is his honesty, even if it is rather blunt and...
  6. C

    NT is feeling jealous and ignored

    How does an "emotional" relationship manifest itself with Aspies? We clearly have fun together doing lots of things besides sex. I don't doubt he enjoys discussing politics, literature, music and visiting ethnic neighborhoods swimming and all. I don't think he is motivated to just get sex. Don't...
  7. C

    NT is feeling jealous and ignored

    What's the average length of time for marriage? 5 years? 50% divorce and probably much worse for informal relationships. So the odds aren't good. :-(
  8. C

    NT is feeling jealous and ignored

    When I asked (some time ago and once early on in the relationship) about whether he wanted a monogamous relationship, he said very clearly "I'm ambivalent." That's esentially an answer of "No," practically speaking, and now here it is. Beth. If that's what is in the cards, I'll be visiting the...
  9. C

    NT is feeling jealous and ignored

    I agree with you. However, I am willing to compromise by accepting the limited (to weekends) relationship. As for accepting another woman, it remains to be seen whether that is what I am dealing with. We're only a few days into this scenario. I am afraid of losing him to her. If I act on my...
  10. C

    NT is feeling jealous and ignored

    I really appreciate all of your comments! this is really very helpful for me. I hope others will find it helpful also. Sorry if my responses are not getting in their correct places.
  11. C

    NT is feeling jealous and ignored

    I haven't seen this film. I hope she is respectful of me and my relationship with Felix, such as it is. As for being "second" in the relationship? That will definitely not be ME!
  12. C

    NT is feeling jealous and ignored

    I want to do that, have tried and got a wall of silence.
  13. C

    NT is feeling jealous and ignored

    The issue of him ignoring me when I said I was feeling insecure, ignoring or not noticing my unhappiness this past weekend, cutting our usual phone call without regard to how I would feel— I think has to do with his being Aspie. I will explain myself, when the time is right, in person how I...
  14. C

    NT is feeling jealous and ignored

    That is what I think I should do. Writing y'all is keeping me from doing the things I feel like doing. (Angry, insecure txt messaging, punching something, woe is me email to him, puffed up threats to Beth.) I may end up in a poly relationship if she decided to move back here. Don't know if that...
  15. C

    NT is feeling jealous and ignored

    Writing and discussing this with others is turned my boiling pot down to a simmer now.
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