what triggered it? what happened? when was it? how long did it take?
I dont have many, thank God. last time was many years ago, because of surprises and unexpected things. I wrote a post about it in my blog, the causes and symptoms and personal experience. too long to describe here. I went with a woman I knew somewhere, and didnt take into account how long the way was going to be, or that we'd switch trains. It was rather embarrassing.
My latest shutdown began after shovelling close to 35 cm of snow (13 inches or so) from our driveway. With frequent breaks and some time to warm up indoors it took me two hours. Then I went inside to rest, but crushing fatigue and pain set in. My dad asked me to help with moving stuff into his truck for the Christmas craft fair. Right when I wanted more rest from shovelling! So I did, with almost nothing to say but "uh-huh, mm-hmm, or yeah" for a "yes" or "I agree" response.
To add to the fun, I was forced to go work an
UNSCHEDULED 9-hour shift at work because Renee, the other staff member, WAS STUCK IN HER DRIVEWAY! NOBODY HAD PLOWED IT YET. So I went, taking my usual vitamin cocktail and 5-hour energy to help alleviate my lack of alertness and enthusiasm. It worked well. I had to shovel out cold, frozen solid snow from off the fuel tank lids, running in and out from the -15C cold. Clenching my teeth I managed to get the frozen lids uncovered and the snow in between the lids cleared away. I did not care about wearing a toque as I was in a hyper-focus mode which can accompany a forced task in my shutdown mode. My face was in a fierce expression that nobody would wish to witness. I came home at midnight.
Friday morning I had to help unload the plant stands, coffee tables, and coat racks from Dad's truck and help him bring the stuff into the Mount 7 Recreation Centre where the Christmas Craft Faire was taking place. I felt like screaming and hitting my head to dent his truck ten times over!
But, you know, there would be consequences...
Crowds of people were around me which I ignored because I was in shutdown mode. No hello's, no paying attention, except to make sure I was not bumping into people or tripping over the frozen ridges of snow and the bumpy tracks of the public. Friday night I was scheduled to go to work a 9-hour shift and I did. THAKFULLY IT DID NOT SNOW LIKE IT DID ON WED-THURS! But when I got home, the truck was not home. I found out the battery was dead and Dad had to walk home from the Rec Centre! In near minus 18 weather!
Saturday I drove my Honda a record distance! I drove to pick up the new battery, then went to craft fair to help Dad get the new battery in. He forgot his tool kit, so I drove back to get it. After Dad installed the new battery the truck finally started but it started overheating and steaming - so he went to the garage some 5 km away. He borrowed the mechanic's truck to pick up his wood projects after the fair was over. Then I had to go back to the garage with Dad to bring back the mechanic's truck and pick up his own truck. After paying the owner, he and I drove back home.
I was still in shut-down mode but after a
15-hour long sleep I felt better. My dad made fun of my sleeping, so I replied,
"I
broke other records too! I shoveled 35 cm of snow, worked four 9-hour shifts, and drove my car the most distance in one day, ever. I am not a hero!!" He backed off, and replied, "That's ok."
It's great to feel my shutdown is about over now. I am still weary, but that will pass.