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your last aspie shutdown

alien girl

Well-Known Member
what triggered it? what happened? when was it? how long did it take?

I dont have many, thank God. last time was many years ago, because of surprises and unexpected things. I wrote a post about it in my blog, the causes and symptoms and personal experience. too long to describe here. I went with a woman I knew somewhere, and didnt take into account how long the way was going to be, or that we'd switch trains. It was rather embarrassing.
 
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I have them all the time at work sometimes. Its in phases...i'll go through a period of getting them almost daily at my part-timer, then i won't get them for a while. Usually it follows the same pattern - rough morning, a customer got upset or angry, and i just got really overwhelmed - and embarassed trying to communicate with the customer successfully let alone professionally. I end up shutting down for at minimum a few customers, at most the rest of the day. Its like an automatic reaction cause i just don't know how to deal with it in the moment and i can't just leave my register without orders to do so, so i just shut down.
 
I had one the other day at school. Because I attend a special school for deaf students, the fire bells are amplified at least two or three times the fire bells at mainstream schools. I often shut down when I experience a sensory overload.

We had a fire drill at about six in the morning (it's a boarding school) and it caught me completely off guard. I screamed and cried and had to be led out by one of my friends, and went straight into a shutdown where I didn't speak or respond, and stimmed for a long time. Thankfully, by the time school had started, I had come out of the shutdown.

I've always responded to the fire bell by screaming and crying (the sound is agony to my ears) and then shutting down.
 
I had one the other day at school. Because I attend a special school for deaf students, the fire bells are amplified at least two or three times the fire bells at mainstream schools. I often shut down when I experience a sensory overload.

We had a fire drill at about six in the morning (it's a boarding school) and it caught me completely off guard. I screamed and cried and had to be led out by one of my friends, and went straight into a shutdown where I didn't speak or respond, and stimmed for a long time. Thankfully, by the time school had started, I had come out of the shutdown.

I've always responded to the fire bell by screaming and crying (the sound is agony to my ears) and then shutting down.

I understand how you feel because I hate noise and am afraid of it, especially unexpected.
 
My last shutdown started from months of death threats, threats to have my kid taken away for no good damn reason, and plenty of verbal abuse and being told to commit suicide so nobody would have to put up with me anymore. I shutdown to avoid a very violent and bloody meltdown. A year later I had enough and put an end to the death threats. Nearly went to jail myself, apparently people can say anything they want to you and you're not allowed to retaliate in any manner. But it stopped and I instilled a new fear in them.
 
I have them frequently, and have for my entire life. When I am out of shutdown, it doesn't take much: It can be from being delayed in an overcrowded supermarket, from being trapped n a waitingroom with noisy active kids, or even from sitting in a café where the windows give glare and the servers are all moving about at different speeds. Instant shutdown if I get upsetting news, or need to deal with a trigger situation. Social overload creates shutdown in me, too.

So, I'm working to learn how to streamline my life.
 
My last shutdown started from months of death threats, threats to have my kid taken away for no good damn reason, and plenty of verbal abuse and being told to commit suicide so nobody would have to put up with me anymore. I shutdown to avoid a very violent and bloody meltdown. A year later I had enough and put an end to the death threats. Nearly went to jail myself, apparently people can say anything they want to you and you're not allowed to retaliate in any manner. But it stopped and I instilled a new fear in them.

You defended yourself. I like that. always said aspies MUST learn self defense. sometimes that's the only way some people understand, and there's no other way. no one, and I mean no one is allowed to threaten your life and threaten to take your kid away, or tell you to commit suicide. this is illegal, by the way, to encourage someone to commit suicide. and then you're the one who'll go to jail for defending yourself when the autorities do nothing when you're threatened (also illegal), or told to kill yourself.
 
I have them frequently, and have for my entire life. When I am out of shutdown, it doesn't take much: It can be from being delayed in an overcrowded supermarket, from being trapped n a waitingroom with noisy active kids, or even from sitting in a café where the windows give glare and the servers are all moving about at different speeds. Instant shutdown if I get upsetting news, or need to deal with a trigger situation. Social overload creates shutdown in me, too.

So, I'm working to learn how to streamline my life.

too bad you have to put up with them so often. it can take its toll. i'm so glad i dont have them often. still, better than a meltdown. meltdown leaves you feeling aweful. and its very scary when it happens and you lose control.
 
what triggered it? what happened? when was it? how long did it take?

I dont have many, thank God. last time was many years ago, because of surprises and unexpected things. I wrote a post about it in my blog, the causes and symptoms and personal experience. too long to describe here. I went with a woman I knew somewhere, and didnt take into account how long the way was going to be, or that we'd switch trains. It was rather embarrassing.

My latest shutdown began after shovelling close to 35 cm of snow (13 inches or so) from our driveway. With frequent breaks and some time to warm up indoors it took me two hours. Then I went inside to rest, but crushing fatigue and pain set in. My dad asked me to help with moving stuff into his truck for the Christmas craft fair. Right when I wanted more rest from shovelling! So I did, with almost nothing to say but "uh-huh, mm-hmm, or yeah" for a "yes" or "I agree" response.
To add to the fun, I was forced to go work an UNSCHEDULED 9-hour shift at work because Renee, the other staff member, WAS STUCK IN HER DRIVEWAY! NOBODY HAD PLOWED IT YET. So I went, taking my usual vitamin cocktail and 5-hour energy to help alleviate my lack of alertness and enthusiasm. It worked well. I had to shovel out cold, frozen solid snow from off the fuel tank lids, running in and out from the -15C cold. Clenching my teeth I managed to get the frozen lids uncovered and the snow in between the lids cleared away. I did not care about wearing a toque as I was in a hyper-focus mode which can accompany a forced task in my shutdown mode. My face was in a fierce expression that nobody would wish to witness. I came home at midnight.

Friday morning I had to help unload the plant stands, coffee tables, and coat racks from Dad's truck and help him bring the stuff into the Mount 7 Recreation Centre where the Christmas Craft Faire was taking place. I felt like screaming and hitting my head to dent his truck ten times over! But, you know, there would be consequences...

Crowds of people were around me which I ignored because I was in shutdown mode. No hello's, no paying attention, except to make sure I was not bumping into people or tripping over the frozen ridges of snow and the bumpy tracks of the public. Friday night I was scheduled to go to work a 9-hour shift and I did. THAKFULLY IT DID NOT SNOW LIKE IT DID ON WED-THURS! But when I got home, the truck was not home. I found out the battery was dead and Dad had to walk home from the Rec Centre! In near minus 18 weather!

Saturday I drove my Honda a record distance! I drove to pick up the new battery, then went to craft fair to help Dad get the new battery in. He forgot his tool kit, so I drove back to get it. After Dad installed the new battery the truck finally started but it started overheating and steaming - so he went to the garage some 5 km away. He borrowed the mechanic's truck to pick up his wood projects after the fair was over. Then I had to go back to the garage with Dad to bring back the mechanic's truck and pick up his own truck. After paying the owner, he and I drove back home.

I was still in shut-down mode but after a 15-hour long sleep I felt better. My dad made fun of my sleeping, so I replied,
"I broke other records too! I shoveled 35 cm of snow, worked four 9-hour shifts, and drove my car the most distance in one day, ever. I am not a hero!!" He backed off, and replied, "That's ok."

It's great to feel my shutdown is about over now. I am still weary, but that will pass.
 
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I had one a few days ago. It was just a long day. It started with a fun thing--a trip to a wildlife refuge to see the geese that're heading south--but then had a ton of errands and stuff to do afterwards. By the time I got to the end of the day, I just had nothing left to give. Then, to top it off, we went to McDonalds (I was with my mom and son) to grab some supper. My mom ordered hers and my son's because I was still looking at the menu, then I tried to order mine and the guy didn't acknowledge me at all. We both thought he'd put the stuff down because he was pushing buttons, but when we got our food and receipt, nothing I ordered was there. I spoke clearly and loudly, so he certainly heard. Apparently, not making and maintaining eye contact meant I wasn't speaking to him and he didn't need to include my order. By that point, I was too upset to try again, so I ate some of my mom's fries and let it go. But that was it for me. I shut down and basically didn't speak or do anything for the rest of the day. I feel bad for my mom because it meant she lost her help in the stores we went to after that. All I could really do was follow.
 
I am new here, and waiting on a diagnosis of aspergers.
Curious about this aspie shutdown thing.
I shutdown a lot. However up until reading this post I had no idea why I did it, or what it was.
Is shutting down a sign of having aspergers?
I am like that almost everyday at work now.
I use to do that in school growing up.
Something uncomfortable happens and I just block the world out. I disassociate myself. My feelings go numb, my mind goes blank, I feel tired and fatigued and like all I want to do is get away from everyone and everything and hide so I can cry without shame.
Up until now I just assumed since up until now I have just been diagnosed with depression, that it was just me having a depressive episode.
I also lose my ability to speak, and look up from the floor.
 
I am new here, and waiting on a diagnosis of aspergers.
Curious about this aspie shutdown thing.
I shutdown a lot. However up until reading this post I had no idea why I did it, or what it was.
Is shutting down a sign of having aspergers?
I am like that almost everyday at work now.
I use to do that in school growing up.
Something uncomfortable happens and I just block the world out. I disassociate myself. My feelings go numb, my mind goes blank, I feel tired and fatigued and like all I want to do is get away from everyone and everything and hide so I can cry without shame.
Up until now I just assumed since up until now I have just been diagnosed with depression, that it was just me having a depressive episode.
I also lose my ability to speak, and look up from the floor.

Yes! shutdown is an aspie thing, definitely. on slight occasion i lose the ability to speak but only for a very short time, and every once in a great while.
 
I had something like this a couple of days ago. We were in the forest gathering mushrooms. We had walked quite a bit and decided to rest and have our picnic. Just as we were about to eat another Jeep stopped near our car and a four people got out, all chattering, and making their way towards us. My husband immediately sprung up to meet them, apparently they were friends of his. The whole thing just threw me - perhaps because I was about to eat and they were disrupting my plans - I did NOT want to talk to them, so I hung back and didn't go and greet them and prayed they wouldn't come up to me. My husband is now used to my aspie ways and lead them off into the forest, away from me. To make things worse, I discovered I'd forgotten the bread, typical me, and we had nothing but cheese and yogurt to eat. For the next two hours or so I continued walking but withdrew into myself and didn't want to speak beyond monosyllabic answers.
 
I had something like this a couple of days ago. We were in the forest gathering mushrooms. We had walked quite a bit and decided to rest and have our picnic. Just as we were about to eat another Jeep stopped near our car and a four people got out, all chattering, and making their way towards us. My husband immediately sprung up to meet them, apparently they were friends of his. The whole thing just threw me - perhaps because I was about to eat and they were disrupting my plans - I did NOT want to talk to them, so I hung back and didn't go and greet them and prayed they wouldn't come up to me. My husband is now used to my aspie ways and lead them off into the forest, away from me. To make things worse, I discovered I'd forgotten the bread, typical me, and we had nothing but cheese and yogurt to eat. For the next two hours or so I continued walking but withdrew into myself and didn't want to speak beyond monosyllabic answers.

loud chattering and meeting strangers makes me anxious. there's something so ominous about it. and it can be depressing as well.
 
I have them frequently as well. Triggered by stressful interactions with others, sometimes with frustration about something not going right, or as planned. Other times it happens when I am in a peaceful place and off in my own head then someone tries to demand my attention. I have a hard time breaking out of my zone out states.
 
Curious about this aspie shutdown thing.
I shutdown a lot. However up until reading this post I had no idea why I did it, or what it was.
Is shutting down a sign of having aspergers?
According to the Fight, Flight, Freeze thread, different aspies react to stress in different ways. I'm definitely of the freeze variety due to shutdown. When one is in shutdown, there's not much chance of fight or flight. Could maybe faun.
 
Sadly I go through rather too many melt downs! For me it is like my mind goes blank and I cannot speak and just sort of cave into myself; can't move; so stand if I am standing at the time, as though my legs are stuck to the ground or sitting, just stare at my computer and a daze sort of takes over.

Even more sadly, is that my husband is often the cause, due to communication problems and him asking me to do things, that seem wrong or sort of: why can't he do them, but panic and end up shouting at him first, and then silence!

Of all things, he asked me to deal with cobwebs and I kept thinking: why can't you deal with them if you are the one spotting them but he argues, he has enough to do and it is a part of my cleaning and if I am not going to see them, then he has to tell me! I did do the dead in the end.

I do not do well with what I perceive as injustices against me, but have no idea how to deal with it. However, wonderfully, my texting comes in handy lol
 
I have them frequently as well. Triggered by stressful interactions with others, sometimes with frustration about something not going right, or as planned. Other times it happens when I am in a peaceful place and off in my own head then someone tries to demand my attention. I have a hard time breaking out of my zone out states.
I know what you mean. I find it hard to shift gears, to go from 'being alone' to 'people mode.' People talking to me when I'm in alone mode feels like an intrusion and I resent it.
 
Sadly I go through rather too many melt downs! For me it is like my mind goes blank and I cannot speak and just sort of cave into myself; can't move; so stand if I am standing at the time, as though my legs are stuck to the ground or sitting, just stare at my computer and a daze sort of takes over.

Even more sadly, is that my husband is often the cause, due to communication problems and him asking me to do things, that seem wrong or sort of: why can't he do them, but panic and end up shouting at him first, and then silence!

Of all things, he asked me to deal with cobwebs and I kept thinking: why can't you deal with them if you are the one spotting them but he argues, he has enough to do and it is a part of my cleaning and if I am not going to see them, then he has to tell me! I did do the dead in the end.

I do not do well with what I perceive as injustices against me, but have no idea how to deal with it. However, wonderfully, my texting comes in handy lol

I would have done the same thing to my husband.:) Asked him why he didn't get them. Guys I swear, sometimes they drive yah nuts, but we love um all the same.
I hate spiders, so I would have hated that deed.
 

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