Your child’s therapist- does s/he just sit there??

[rachaels_apocalypse]

Hola mi amigos!

So, my question......
(Post edited - better??? )

I FINALLY, after 3 years of searching, found a therapist who seems to be qualified to work with my 6 year old daughter, Stella!!
Yaaayyyy!!!

She’s not a diagnostician — bummer!! But, things are bad and getting worse. Now we have serious morning anxiety & school aversion, on top of all else.

—- I have tons of experience with counseling & counselors. I’ve been the facilitator for groups and have counseled individuals and couples throughout my career.
—- I have zero experience with this. So TY for any & all insight!!
—- Ok, so new therapist (LCSW), “Jane,” said she understands our needs - being up on the current diagnostic criteria for autistic women and girls, and she’s very familiar with autistic girls in general. She also works with autistic people of all ages. Great!

So — our appointments so far.
—- She has a cute medium sized dog.
—- On 1 table is small basket with fidget toys, and also tins of assorted slimes (mostly dried out).
—- I sit in my chair. Jane sits in her chair.
—- Stella and Dog run around room. Under chairs, roll on floor, cuddle, play, crazy, silly.
—- Last appt I pointed out Dog is not helping and Jane held him most of the appt.
—- When not actively playing with Dog, or if Dog is being held away, Stella is busy crawling under and over chairs. Picks up & puts down toys. Tries to get slimes out. —- Sometimes asks Jane for help with slime. They pick at it. She’ll hang out under Jane’s chair for a bit, before being off again.
—- If I try to hold her, she’ll squirm & squirm to break free. (She often enjoys my lap. Maybe freedom to run rampant around a room unchecked?? Yk?)
—- Soooooo ———— all through this MOVEMENT that Stella is doing, Jane is shooting casual questions at her here & there, while she and I chat.
“So Stella, what is your favorite thing to do at school?”
“...like the least?”
“What’s the worst part about school?”
“How can you tell when mom is angry?”
“You don’t like to answer questions do you??”
Well, clearly she does not!?!
(She doesn’t like ANYONE asking her direct questions, not even me.)
—- Jane will ask Stell a question. Will ask her same question 4 times. Finally I pipe up and I’m like: “Jane is talking to you, blah blah blah....” grrrrrr
—- Then, the 1st appt Jane saw Stella gazing into bowl of Jolly Ranchers sitting on table. (Candy on table with kids coming in? THAT confused me. Also that kinda HARD candy?? Odd, at least I thought??)
So Jane “trades” Stell 5 answers to questions for 1 piece of candy.
I was like —- hmmmmm.......
—- All Jane does is sit in her chair, Stella under it. Stella ignoring her mostly. Until she “has to” respond. (But you know Stella hears EVERYTHING. ) Until it’s time to go.
—- And thinking on it, the only “technique” I’ve seen Jane use was the candy bribe. And that was off the cuff.
—- There’s prob more. But you got the picture.

Oh! Remember she’s a LCSW. And not ABA or BI or anything like that.
Thoughts....... ???????

THANK YOU!!
Rachael

 

[Mia]

Hi Rachael, welcome to the autism forums. I'm not a professional expert in autism, and I'm self-diagnosed. Your therapist sounds as if she knows her stuff. Suspect she's waiting to see what comes of a six-year old and when she will 'out' herself. Child therapy for someone so young is completely different from anything I've come across. She seems to be waiting for your child to be comfortable enough with her, it sounds like, that she will begin showing her real self, getting beyond the mask so to speak. That will take some time.

Can I congratulate you? For being such an awesome parent? And going way out of your comfort zone to find someone that good for your daughter.

 

[GadAbout]

No offense intended, but the post was too long to be of interest to me. And that was even skipping down to the later section.

Some folks here will agree with me and others will think I'm being unkind. I just wanted to let you know how it struck me.

 

[rachaels_apocalypse]

No offense intended, but the post was too long to be of interest to me. And that was even skipping down to the later section.

Some folks here will agree with me and others will think I'm being unkind. I just wanted to let you know how it struck me.

Hey! Thanks!
I edited it down. Writing is a special interest of mine so I can get a bit ..... wordy.
lol
Hopefully it’s better. Kinda need all that info that’s in there now, in there.

Rachael

 

[GadAbout]

Much better!

So, child therapy is much, much different than adult therapy. It may well look like nothing is happening. In fact, the therapist is doing a whole lot of behavioral assessment. (She may be well be assessing your behavior as well as your child's - not to make you self-conscious! But the interaction where you finally tell
Stella she is being asked a question - the therapist is definitely assessing how you and Stella interact).

I gather there have been only a few sessions so far? Give it time.

I'm sure you know that you can't force Stella to do anything she is resistant to. Jane and Stella are still building rapport, which for a child or ANYONE with autism, can take quite a long time.

Since you are unsure what to think of the therapy, arrange to talk to Jane without Stella present (it could be a phone call) and ask her to explain where things are in the work, and what to expect moving forward.

 

[Crossbreed]

Hello & welcome, @rachaels_apocalypse .

I am skeptical about the autism-competence of an LCSW.

If you are in the USA, see Autlanders, Thriving Outside of the Box: Finding Support Resources in the USA...

(At least, see if Jane is listed/recommended...)

 

[GadAbout]

Hello & welcome, @rachaels_apocalypse .

I am skeptical about the autism-competence of an LCSW.

If you are in the USA, see Autlanders, Thriving Outside of the Box: Finding Support Resources in the USA...

(At least, see if Jane is listed/recommended...)

I just want to say that your lists at Autlanders are fairly limited. I am sure there are many therapists competent to work with autistic children who never made it to those lists.

As for the qualifications of an LCSW - that credential alone does not say much about the experience in autism. There well may be MD's and Ph.D.'s with less ability to treat autistic children, than an LCSW!

An interesting study found that treatment of depression was as successful with a clinical social worker or counselor as with a doctorate level therapist. The only factors predicting success were not theoretical perspective or type of credential, but genuineness of therapist and number of years in practice. I am not equating autism with depression, but I think a similar principle might apply.

 

[Crossbreed]

I just want to say that your lists at Autlanders are fairly limited. I am sure there are many therapists competent to work without autistic children who never made it to those lists.

My current therapist isn't on the list (and admitted her limitations), but was willing to consult an out-of-state 2e expert on my behalf (who is on my list).

In our area, if they are on the list, they are pretty much up-to-date.
Those not on the list have only studied to Dr. Kanner.* They have been cure-oriented, and only acknowledge ASD2/3 and, then, only in children; insisting that adults outgrow the condition (or get a different diagnosis!).

It is that bad, here.

*Of "refrigerator mother" fame. They don't even get to the part where he retracted that claim. Closer to Autism Speaks.

 

[Thinx]

I would think that if you have been included in the therapy, then it's for you both, and to support your interactions with your daughter as really the parent is the most important person in a 6 years olds life, and it sounds like your daughter has unique ways of behaving that may sometimes be hard for you to cope with.

If it were me, I would want a one to one appointment with the therapist to understand how she works, and I would prepare questions and take them as notes to work through. One thing I noticed when I worked for a while with children with Aspergers and their parents or other family members, was that the behaviours could put a strain on everyone, as parents or siblings might find them hard to understand or feel stressed and then the child or young person may sense this and react by escalating behaviours, or in other ways.

I think for most in your situation it's a process that takes time and evolves, to get an optimal mix where you're not worn to a frazzle and the child has support and boundaries that work well for them. You are of course working on that 24/7, not by any means mainly in the therapy hour, all that hour can do is help you zero in on issues and challenges and get extra help, from someone who may be able to use their experience to suggest ideas and strategies, which may be right or helpful for both parents and child.

Have you read up on autism in girls and women, and how it may present? I recommend Jessica Kingsley publishers for some useful texts about girls and women on the autistic spectrum, some are by women who are on the spectrum themselves, as are their daughters.