Your autism diagnosis and how it affected your life

[Ken]

There have been may posts along this line, including polls, but I am more interested in those who received an early diagnosis and how it helped or didn't or hindered.

Did it contribute to a satisfying, independent, navigation through the NT world?
Did it provide a path to a successful, fulfilling and satisfying career?
Did it provide a path to feeling proud of yourself and your life?

I self-diagnosed late in life. I know other autistic people within my family, acquaintances and friends. The majority are/were not diagnosed, but obviously autistic. A few were diagnosed. All of those who were diagnosed were/are pigeonholed as "defective" and assigned to a permanently suppressed position in society. Most that I know, including myself, that was not diagnosed managed to push their way through the NT world to a successful, fulfilling life. Though that push was brutal and traumatically damaging, leaving lots of permanent injuries and scars (PTSD's), but succeeded none the less.

In my life and career, I did not do well with "help". My social anxiety is simply too overwhelming. I did not last long at any job where I had to work with others. School was profoundly difficult and tutors only made it worse. My career escalated dramatically when my boss recognized that difficulty, and assigned me to a private office/lab where I worked alone. Knowing my history, I do not think I would have done well if I was diagnosed early with a prescription of a lifetime of "help".

I do not know anyone who was diagnosed early in life that has succeeded to an independent, fulfilling career and life, however, I am aware that the number of examples I know is a microscopic fraction of the whole. I am also aware that the area/community I live in is not very tolerant to people that are "different" living in their society. The typical response is to suppress them into a lower category. I would love to learn that that is not true everywhere.

 

[LadyS]

I am curious about this as well having been diagnosed in adulthood. It might even be useful to have a poll to see (i.e. diagnosed early - positive or negative experience vs diagnosed late - positive or negative, etc)?

I've occasionally contemplated this for myself...what if I was diagnosed earlier? WOULD it have helped? Made it worse?

But looking back at how my family was then vs now, I have mixed bag answers. I have a very strong feeling (almost certainty) that having an official diagnosis would have given them even more license to treat me as a second class citizen, thereby maybe stunting my social and intellectual growth? And unfortunately because my family is tied to a massive community, it might have cost me some friendships as well.

On the flip side, I would have a better understanding of why I was different. But at the same time, as a young kid who is going through the motions of fitting in and learning social skills, I feel like it might have decreased confidence in myself and made me feel even more of an outsider. Sometimes understanding is like finally pulling the rug out from under your feet. As an adult, I have less problem doing that but as a kid who hasn't fully matured, it would have left me feeling more helpless and alone, maybe?

All of this is of course is keeping in mind that time period when Autism was still not widely known or understood. Given my family's lack of education and English capabilities, they wouldnt have understood the full scope of it.

I do wonder how it is for kids today...

 

[velociraptor]

I'm pretty sure that early diagnosis would not have helped much. My teachers being aware of and ignoring other serious health conditions is why I say this. As to kids, they can (and often will) be cruel no matter what. If it wasn't autism I am certain they would find something else to make fun of.

 

[Knower of nothing]

As a toddler I was initially misdiagnosed with Tourette's Syndrome because of the intense amount of stimming including some verbal tics I did. I have memories of the hospital-esque place I was being monitored at, I remember the playmat with someone observing me play and part of an interview where I was eventually asked to draw something (drew a dragon, got a comment on the detail level lol). My time there led to the Aspergers diagnosis.

My parents decided to try a regular school and I believe in elementary school no teachers were made aware of my situation. If they were, I was treated no different for it. Whether this was a trial period for my parents to see if I could just manage as is or if they were in denial about the reality of the condition I don't know. So years of outbursts and developing the emotional background of my future problems later, my mom finally decided it was maybe not going too great.

In middle school the teachers were informed and I got a counselor I spent time with after class once a week. This was when I personally realized I was diagnosed autistic. Personality 180'd, instantly withdrew and stopped doing school work. Puberty brought awareness of all sorts and it did not land softly. Having clinical proof of being different didn't do much good for me when coupled with bullying. The teachers may have been aware, but what were they supposed to do? The counselor asked me so many questions, yet I think all she was focused on was my intelligence and ability to do school work. The social part of middle school broke me and I quit after the 4th year. Is modern support any better? Do they simply isolate autistic kids into their own schools and special needs classes? Is this effective?

I was sent to therapy and special schools and a whole bunch of stuff afterwards, but since I had already made up my mind about not putting up with it anymore, I sort of only went along out of the fear of repercussion. Once I became of age and got a bit of confidence I quit for good. In that sense, I did attain the fulfillment I desired and the diagnosis was a cornerstone in its abiltiy to provide for me after becoming an adult with the desire to abstain from work and society. I don't know if the diagnosis would help others that have less aggressively anti-social ambitions.

 

[Au Naturel]

There have been may posts along this line, including polls, but I am more interested in those who received an early diagnosis and how it helped or didn't or hindered.

Did it contribute to a satisfying, independent, navigation through the NT world?
Did it provide a path to a successful, fulfilling and satisfying career?
Did it provide a path to feeling proud of yourself and your life?

I self-diagnosed late in life. I know other autistic people within my family, acquaintances and friends. The majority are/were not diagnosed, but obviously autistic. A few were diagnosed. All of those who were diagnosed were/are pigeonholed as "defective" and assigned to a permanently suppressed position in society. Most that I know, including myself, that was not diagnosed managed to push their way through the NT world to a successful, fulfilling life. Though that push was brutal and traumatically damaging, leaving lots of permanent injuries and scars (PTSD's), but succeeded none the less.

In my life and career, I did not do well with "help". My social anxiety is simply too overwhelming. I did not last long at any job where I had to work with others. School was profoundly difficult and tutors only made it worse. My career escalated dramatically when my boss recognized that difficulty, and assigned me to a private office/lab where I worked alone. Knowing my history, I do not think I would have done well if I was diagnosed early with a prescription of a lifetime of "help".

I do not know anyone who was diagnosed early in life that has succeeded to an independent, fulfilling career and life, however, I am aware that the number of examples I know is a microscopic fraction of the whole. I am also aware that the area/community I live in is not very tolerant to people that are "different" living in their society. The typical response is to suppress them into a lower category. I would love to learn that that is not true everywhere.

It is an explanation, and answer to the question of "Why me?"

Once you have that explanation you can seek answers and work-arounds. You're not just a person who had badness radiating from you. There's an objective reason that can be dealt with. And you know you're not alone.

 

[Outdated]

I knew I wasn't normal from age 5 but I didn't get a diagnosis until I was 56. On a personal level it gave me a sense of validation and vindication but that wasn't what I was after.

It got me a pension.

 

[Suzanne]

From being here, I sense that getting diagnosis as an adult is more beneficial, than as a child, because ones who were diagnosed as a child, seem to see it as a curse to their lives; whereas those of us, who receive later diagnosis, see it as a relief to all the questions we have been asking ourselves.

Although I am diagnosied, I feel a sense of shame a lot, because of how others tend to treat me. I want to fit in to the "norm" but no matter how I behave or what I say, there is someone who shows they truly dislike me.

 

[GypsyMoth]

Although I am diagnosied, I feel a sense of shame a lot, because of how others tend to treat me. I want to fit in to the "norm" but no matter how I behave or what I say, there is someone who shows they truly dislike me.

Those kinds of folks are out there and they tend not to like a lot of people. I don't know how other people handle it, but I have run into it a lot at work. I try not to take it personally and use the 'crocodile skin' technique (um, camouflaging?) and attempt to deal with those people just like everybody else. (Successful? So-so; I endured. Hopefully you have a better strategy.)

 

[Ken]

From being here, I sense that getting diagnosis as an adult is more beneficial, than as a child, because ones who were diagnosed as a child, seem to see it as a curse to their lives; whereas those of us, who receive later diagnosis, see it as a relief to all the questions we have been asking ourselves.

Although I am diagnosied, I feel a sense of shame a lot, because of how others tend to treat me. I want to fit in to the "norm" but no matter how I behave or what I say, there is someone who shows they truly dislike me.

While autism doesn't help, it is not the root reason some people do not like you. I don't believe there is or has ever been any person on this planet that was liked by everyone. Even Mother Teresa had lots of people that didn't like her.

Something that has helped me was from a quote from the movie Labor Day that went something like this (I edited a bit to fit this post); You are a good person. Anybody that thinks otherwise is not worth your time.

 

[Storm Hess]

I have been 'working' (creating designs, music and programming) for myself, because I do not last in a corporate environment. It's way too much for me to handle. What I do is fulfilling for me.

I've tried having jobs, but have been fired time and time again, due to my inability to relate socially. I work hard and focus like a laser, but I do not like disturbed when I am working. Specially if I'm told to do something that is outside of my job description. AHHHH! I would get upset because I didn't understand why I was being asked. "I'm entering system data and reconfiguring systems...why am I being asked to go to Office Depot?". I can't handle that.