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Writing an Article and need one more interviewee, please help!

Discussion in 'Love, Relationships and Dating' started by Sakura Blossom, Jul 28, 2017.

  1. Sakura Blossom

    Sakura Blossom New Member

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    Hello there my fellow Aspergians,
    I am being given a chance to possibly write a freelance article for VICE on the topic of dating on the spectrum, and I need your help! I have here a list of interview questions, and I'm looking for one more person diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum to answer all of them, (don't worry, your name and identifying information won't be used in the article,) with preference towards those with some dating experience, especially those of you on the site who are married or in long-term relationships. Please note that unless you expressly say otherwise, that by responding to this you are giving permission to be directly quoted in the article, and also that I may comment or private message you with follow-up questions, or to ask you to elaborate or lengthen your answers. I also retain the right to edit the wording and spelling of your answers if needed to make them more interesting and engaging, (but not to change the meaning of anything you say of course.) All that technical pseudo-legal mumbo jumbo out of the way, here are the questions in no particular order:

    Please note: I actually started out on Wrong Planet with this, but somebody gave me the tip to try here, as I'm having a hard time finding enough responses that I can use, and I'm running out of time. Please answer these as quickly as possible! Thanks!

    How have you met most of your past partners?
    How old were you when you started dating? How consistently have you been in a relationship over the course of your life?
    Are you married? Do you think you will be?
    Have most of your partners known about your ASD? If so, when do you tell them?
    What’s the worst reaction you’ve gotten to telling a partner you’re on the spectrum? The best?
    What’s the hardest thing about dating?
    How do you know somebody’s “the one” for you?
    What do you think is the best thing about dating an Aspie? The worst?
    Have you dated other Aspies or Neurotypicals primarily? If both, which have you had better experiences with? Why?
    What are some things that you and past partners have had disagreements over that were related to your ASD?
    If you could tell your current or next partner anything about your diagnosis, what would it be?
    How have you handled sex and physical intimacy in your relationships?
    How have your social challenges effected your love life?
    What are some things that run through your head when going on a first date?
    What do you think about ASD and unconventional sexualities/sexual expressions? Is there a link?
    Is there anything else you’d like to say?
     
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  2. Plant13

    Plant13 Member

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    I'd like to answer all those questions for you. Being 57, single and actively dating, newly aware of my condition, this looks interesting to me. I'd be glad to work with you on it.
     
  3. Bolletje

    Bolletje Potato chip wizard V.I.P Member

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    I'd like to help you out as well. I'm a 31 year old woman, 4 years into a long term relationship with my boyfriend. I don't really believe in "the one", but this is the first person I've dated I can imagine growing old with. We've talked about marriage, and both agree that it's not a necessity but we'd like to get married some day. But since we already live together and are planning to stay that way, there's no rush to get married.

    I was briefly engaged to my previous boyfriend, who I dated for 5 years. I said yes to his proposal because I liked the idea of being married. But shortly afterwards I realized that none of my plans for the future involved him, so I broke up with him.

    I met both my current and my previous boyfriend at a bar, the same bar in fact. Drinking alcohol allows me to shed my inhibitions and fully be myself. I'm smart, funny and very witty, but I'm so worried about being inappropriate that I fade into the background sometimes. Not so much when I've had a drink!

    I've never really dated in the classical sense, as in getting to know each other slowly over dinner and drinks with the intent of figuring out your compatibility.
    When I'm interested in someone, I tell them. And if it's mutual, we have sex. If we're both still interested afterwards, we continue hooking up and talking until we either get bored or have the relationship talk. I'm a very sexual person and I wouldn't want to date someone I'm not sexually compatible with, so I make sure to figure that out before investing a lot of time and energy into a new relationship.
     
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  4. Plant13

    Plant13 Member

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    I was married 16 years, have a 30 year old daughter, a business that sustains me. Sex is a big problem, since its so easily obtained and so helpful in directing focus. I can write for das after a good solid romp. For me its eye contact, sex, conversation by text, a second romp, less verbal interaction and eventual ghosting by him. I crave it for its medicinal effects, I swear, so its hard not to be needy, and frankly men my age aren't rompers, and I'm no cougar, I like men my age. Sigh. I'm fairly adorable for a person my age, athletic, so that helps, at least there isn't an end in sight. : ).
     
  5. xudo

    xudo Well-Known Member

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    I would help, but I've only ever had one relationship. We met in 2005, got together in 2006, married in 2011 and still together. Turns out we're both on the spectrum :p
     
  6. Sakura Blossom

    Sakura Blossom New Member

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    Hey Xudo, you're still welcome to answer it! I can't guarantee whether or not I'll wind up selecting it, but the more the merrier! :)
     
  7. Sakura Blossom

    Sakura Blossom New Member

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    Hey guys, looks like my editor wants a couple more people after all, and she specifically wants me to try to find people under 30, unmarried, (preferably single,) who have either tried online dating, or are asexual.
     
  8. Maelstrom

    Maelstrom Magical Pattern Auspie

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    Good luck Sakura Blossom...I don't fit your requirements and it is not a area I wish to be famous in any more than I am already against my wishes.

    Autism overload is really bad for us I had social memory detail flashbacks for 8 months after my failed engagement... it was like being stuck in a horror movie!

    But the stress I was subjected to was extreme...with a BPD, OCD, step mom basically trying to shred me...any way she sneaky way she could think of.
    ---------------------------
    Autism dating involves new stuff, and new people...new unfamiliar things cause autism shutdown...allot!

    Reducing social distractions, and staying in familiar settings, helps greatly in avoiding shutdown.

    Shutdown is basically social deafness...in a few cases I had it bad enough to actually physically start going deaf...it is a very real thing!

    It feels like swimming in Honey at the bottom of a well while a small voice shouts down faintly from above!

    Maelstrom :fourleaf::rocket::rabbitface: