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Write reviews about things you purchase.

Mia

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
They can be any sort of thing, product or service review. I'll start:

Recently bought a bell for my bicycle mainly to warn off people who cycle too close to me, or cut me off while cycling. The bell looks like this, although it's not the same manufacturer as the one pictured:

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It looks very similar to this one, but slightly cheaper. The bell attached poorly to the bike handle, the vise like devise on the bottom was too large for the handles. It kept slipping down as I attempted to make it fit. The metal attachment scratched and made marks on my bike handles. Eventually I wound plumbers silicon tape around the handles to keep it in place. The top screw on the bell is decorative and had been glued on, more like a cap. So it was a fake rather than a screw device which would help with alternating the tone of the bell. Which is the reason I bought it in the first place.

Otherwise, it has a nice loud sound when it's rung. Next, I'll find a bell that I can actually touch and look at, so that I know it will fit and can be adjusted. Returning the one I bought is virtually impossible as it was bought two years ago at a flea market.
 
I don't see the point of posting a "review" if you don't give any information about the brand. Reviews are meant to help people decide whether or not to spend money on something.
 
@Catana
I thought the idea was to exercise critical thinking,
and possibly be of use to others as an example of
'how to write a review.'

@Mia
Is that, more or less, the idea?
 
Is that, more or less, the idea?

Yes it is, tree.

@Catana

The reason for not mentioning this products name is that I don't know if mentioning actual names for some products is a copyright infringement and would be troublesome for this site?

In most cases products can be reviewed if a purchase is verifiable. Something I can't prove for this bike bell, which is generic one and quite possibly a fake or knock-off of the one pictured. So buyer beware is the theme of that particular review.

Please feel free to review stuff.
 
Buyer should always beware, especially these days. That fake screw on the top was to fool a buyer into thinking they are getting a higher quality item that the one they got.
 
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Local brand of cookies: Vanilla wafers, with a coating that can only be described as related to plastic, the coating sticks to your teeth. But in no way tastes like chocolate. Most other cookies made by this brand are quite good, caramel truffle, dark chocolate butter cookies.
 
Yes it is, tree.

@Catana

The reason for not mentioning this products name is that I don't know if mentioning actual names for some products is a copyright infringement and would be troublesome for this site?

In most cases products can be reviewed if a purchase is verifiable. Something I can't prove for this bike bell, which is generic one and quite possibly a fake or knock-off of the one pictured. So buyer beware is the theme of that particular review.

Please feel free to review stuff.

I see your point, but it would eliminate confusion if you'd said something about the review being an example of how to judge products. As it is, you clearly indicated that it's a review of a specific product.
 
Vegan Mayonnaise:

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I bought this product thinking it was mayonnaise. But realize now as I look at the jar that it's listed on the label as a dressing and sandwich spread. Not a mayonnaise, but in the same place as the real mayonnaise at the grocery.
The texture is light and runny, and has little flavor and doesn't hold up in a potato salad for example, where it becomes runny. This product slides off tomatoes and cucumbers, rather than serving as something that keeps a sandwich together.
 
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Local brand of cookies: Vanilla wafers, with a coating that can only be described as related to plastic, the coating sticks to your teeth. But in no way tastes like chocolate. Most other cookies made by this brand are quite good, caramel truffle, dark chocolate butter cookies.
have the same problem with this creme caramel- doesn't taste like cream and it doesn't taste like caramel , it tastes like soy .
The person who invented this obviously has no sense of smell .
 
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Local brand of cookies: Vanilla wafers, with a coating that can only be described as related to plastic, the coating sticks to your teeth. But in no way tastes like chocolate. Most other cookies made by this brand are quite good, caramel truffle, dark chocolate butter cookies.
every chocolate wafer I've ever tasted tastes like that .
I think the only one that was different was Marks & Spencer because they put a huge amount of fat in everything!.
I don't have that problem anymore as I avoid any product with palm Oil in it.
my diet is much more limited now but I'd rather orangutans had somewhere to live .
 
Buyer should always beware, especially these days. That fake screw on the top was to fool a buyer into thinking they are getting a higher quality item that the one they got.
The pound and dollar stores are the worst ,I'm surprised THEY pass trading standards .
The word in block capitals means what it means !the iPad doesn't recognise that word when I say it ,
I have to spell it out letter by letter which comes out of block capitals for some strange reason which I don't want to understand .
 
I recently purchased some Angel Soft toilet paper; a so-called "budget brand" because I'm broke as a joke right now. As it turns out, "Angel Soft" is a highly misleading product name; it was anything but.

My nightmare began on a Thursday night, which is the night when I dine on chocolate cake, soft tacos, and Tootsie Rolls. Unfortunately, I had forgotten to powder and sprinkle Immodium onto my food to prevent diarrhea, and Montezuma's Revenge soon came upon me.

As I rushed to the bathroom, clenching my sphincter as tightly as possible to keep the liquid doo-doo from spilling out my ass and down my hairless legs, I grabbed a roll of my newly-purchased Angel Soft toilet paper from the bathroom closet.

I sat down and sprayed liquid fire out of my turd-cutter, staining the sides of the toilet bowl with its intensity. After a few more pushes and a few more geysers of chocolate mudpie, it was time to wipe.

I knew I had made a mess and I was excited to try my new toilet paper, to see how it stacks up. Truth be told, I was depending on Angel Soft to provide me with a clean butthole in exchange for several of my dollars.

Angel Soft did not hold up its end of the bargain. I wiped, and I wiped, and I wiped, but half a roll later I was still getting thick layers of fudge on the paper. "My diarrhea isn't typically this messy", I thought, but defiant to not let the Browns win the Superbowl I kept on wiping.

This is where things took an alarming twist. I didn't stop getting poo when I wiped, but I did eventually get a mixture of poo and a shocking amount of blood. I was unsure what to do, but logically I figured that if what I was doing was causing me to bleed, I should stop doing that.

And so I did. But the nightmare of using Angel Soft didn't end there. No, for when I got up and flushed the toilet, the three-quarters of a roll of crap tape in the bowl clogged the toilet. As the water steadily rose and threatened to flood my bathroom floor with dookie-water, I hastily but deftly lunged for the toiler plunger, desperate to stop the mixture of toilet water, diarrhea, and piss from creating a "let my cup runneth over" situation.

It took several minutes of me standing with my pants around my ankles, wedding tackle flopping all about as I plunged that toilet like it owed me money. Finally, after enough effort to aggravate my old shoulder injury, all the feces, urine - and the cause of this entire debacle, the mile of toilet paper it took to partially clean my anus - was down the toilet where it belonged.

"The nightmare is over", I thought. Oh, how wrong I was. As I pulled up my pants and began the short jaunt back to my computer where I spend my nights leaving bigoted comments on Lil Wayne's youtube videos, I started to feel the most horrible burning sensation imaginable.

When I sat down, it felt like my anus was covered in napalm. For lack of options, I stood up and tried to walk it off; this compounded my discomfort, as the fact that the Angel Soft had also failed to completely clean my starfish meant I had that itchy feeling of a dirty butthole to deal with as well.

Desperate and out of ideas, I returned to the bathroom to try to wipe better. I grabbed the necessary pom-pom of Angel Soft and took a swipe. This caused the fire in my poop cannon to reach critical mass. Like a cartoon, the pain almost made me jump and hit the ceiling.

By this point, I didn't give a damn if I was wearing pants or not. I had tossed them aside and decided on plan B: run to the freezer and figure things out from there. The only thing I found in the freezer was a frozen steak, which I promptly inserted between my buttocks.

Finally, relief. I wasn't just going to stand in the kitchen half-naked with a steak between my buttcheeks, so I decided to go lay down. Every step was pure agony as the frozen steak could only do so much to soothe the inferno blazing on my bleeding poohole.

As I laid down, steak betwixt my buttocks, I did the only thing I knew what to do at such a point of misery: pray to God for a quick, painless death.

Eventually, the burning did stop. The tenderness was still there, however, so my butt remained dirty for quite some time - nevermind the steak, that thing thawed out covered in blood, poop, and sweat. Ain't nobody eating that.

You would think that was enough, but a week later, and a week after switching back to Charmin, I felt an even worse pain upon taking a sizable yet solid dump. Naturally, I was concerned, so I went to see my doctor.

He put on a glove, told me to pull down my pants, and he proceeded to put his fingers deep inside my rectum. He kept apologizing the entire time, which made it even more awkward than the fact that a doctor whose name I cannot pronounce was tickling my prostate.

The doctor found that I had hemorrhoids. A hemorrhoid is an infected blood vessel on the anus or in the rectum. I related my story about the Angel Soft toilet paper, and he concluded that the hemorrhoids were caused by the rectal bleeding that was caused by the Angel Soft.

Today, I'm sitting on a pillow that looks like a donut and starving myself because every time I have to take a dookie, I nearly pass out from the pain.

All of this could've been avoiding if I hadn't decided to cut corners and had just spent the extra couple bucks on Charmin, which is what I ended up doing anyway.

Calling a product "Angel Soft" should be more like a promise, but instead it was a cruel bait-and-switch in which Montezuma indeed got his revenge. This brand and all associated products should be avoided at all costs if you value the integrity of your poop chute.
 
@Gritches that was one of the most honest and hilarious reviews I've ever read. There are tears running down my face, from laughing and commiserating with your saga which is wholly familiar. It's something that's happened to me as well. Likely to many people. My husband also had to read it, and it brought a smile to his face, as over the last few months he's been in hospital and has had similar difficulties.
 
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@Gritches Yup I agree with Mia wholeheartedly- that review had me in hysterics with tears also and cheered me right up. You said you bought a bidet toilet seat- what happened did it stop working?

(A hint, next time get in the shower- you can always throw some bleach on the shower floor afterwards and the water will be soothing.)
 
Yes @Gritches thanks for demonstrating just how many colourful terms there are to describe the aspects and anatomy of such events! I was hoping it wasn't true, for your sake, but yes, the irony of the brand name 'Angel Soft' is the final insult. At least you have rightfully exposed them... and a few other things.
 
Permanent markers:

Bought this marker to write on jars and bottles and plastic surfaces.

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The difficulty with the marker is that I couldn't remove the cap. I pulled and pulled on the thing and it seemed to be so stuck that I used small vice grips to attempt to remove the cap. That didn't loosen it either but it chewed up and splintered the plastic on the clip. Then I tried hot water. It loosened but the clip cut a deep gash in my thumb as I was trying to pull it off. I threw it away.
 
I don't see the point of posting a "review" if you don't give any information about the brand. Reviews are meant to help people decide whether or not to spend money on something.

Or feedback, which actually is vitally important with online shopping! But one has to be discerning as some idiots decide to give an unjust feedback and thus, the poor seller could lose sales.

They are there for one to decide if that is the product they should buy; so in fact, it is when the decision to purchase has been made and now, to find one that is suitable.
 
I purchased two herbs recently by a site called: Iherb, which was recommended to me and since I am taking a natural thyroid medcine from the same company ( a present to me) and works amazingly well, I felt I could trust further.

I got this for venous insufficient and sense a change in the skin colour of my legs. It is used to thin the blood and thus, make it easier to reach back to the heart and so, release blood etc from collecting on my legs and ankles ( which I cry in shame about).

I find it not so easy to swollen the capsules, because they are vegetarian and just taste awful.

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I also got the a herb for my eyes ( I feel sure I have dry eye syndrome. Sometimes I feel there is an improvment, but jury is still out.

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And this one, which is vitamin B3 and B1 for carpel tunnel and works a treat. Not this one, but does come in a pack and got it at a chemist, but with B1. I think due to digestive issues, my body just does not absorb the nutrients from the food I eat and so, I must go for suppliments.

Just to add that science has ascertained that using vitamin B3 with carpel tunnel, does ease the issue and saves operating on.

th


I recently earned some money and used it to buy a ton of clothes that I am sorely in need of. It would take too long give a review on each item lol and plus, they are sent to a lovely couple in my country the uk, where postage is often free and won't get my goodies til the end of next month!
 
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gassy enough but doesn't have enough ginger and not sweet enough,nice to not drink out of a plastic bottle .
 
Permanent markers:

Bought this marker to write on jars and bottles and plastic surfaces.

900.jpg
The difficulty with the marker is that I couldn't remove the cap. I pulled and pulled on the thing and it seemed to be so stuck that I used small vice grips to attempt to remove the cap. That didn't loosen it either but it chewed up and splintered the plastic on the clip. Then I tried hot water. It loosened but the clip cut a deep gash in my thumb as I was trying to pull it off. I threw it away.
I mistakenly bought a sharpie not realising they test on animals won't do that again.
bought a permanent marker from Sainsbury's which didn't nearly give me seizure from the odour .
every stationer in the UK appears to make their own brand.
 
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