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Featured Would you give anyone advice?

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Aspergers_Aspie, Oct 8, 2019.

  1. Aspergers_Aspie

    Aspergers_Aspie Active Member

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    Hi there,
    Would you give anyone advice and if so what would it be? For me I would recommend if you love someone try and give the best possible chance of possibly being in a relationship with that person as if it doesn't work out you wont have any regrets and if it does work out I believe you couldn't be happier than in a relationship with the person who you love.
     
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  2. clg114

    clg114 Still crazy, after all these years. Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    Having been married for almost fifty years, I agree with your post. I guess any advice that I have would be to those husbands out there. If you are married and want to stay married, treat her very special. Treat her like a queen. Put her needs ahead of you own. Let her have her own way whenever possible. Remember happy wife, happy life.
     
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  3. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

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    A large percentage of the time my advice is ignored so no I wouldn’t
     
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  4. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Based on personal hindsight of this particular issue, sure. Not to make any rash decisions that can so easily and instantly break a relationship. Guilty as charged, and something I still dwell on some thirty years later.

    As for offering advice in general, that's a more complex question requiring more complex answers.
     
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  5. GadAbout

    GadAbout Well-Known Member

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    I give advice all the time, as regular forum members can attest. My advice is always well intended, and I take it for granted that sometimes it will be wrong and other times, unwelcome.
     
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  6. Autistamatic

    Autistamatic He's just this guy, you know? V.I.P Member

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    Whether I offer advice depends largely on what it's about and who the conversation is with. Far too much advice is bandied about by people who are woefully unqualified to do so. Better to keeps one's gob shut than offer bad advice.
     
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  7. Bolletje

    Bolletje Potato chip wizard V.I.P Member

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    I give out a lot of advice on personal and professional basis. I like looking at a situation from the outside and give my perspective on things. As far as general advice, since we already have relationship advice in this topic, a little advice for daily life: try to be nice to everyone you meet, unless they give you reason to do otherwise. And at work, try to befriend not just your colleagues and superiors, but also be friendly to those who are below you on the corporate ladder.
     
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  8. dragonfire42

    dragonfire42 Active Member

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    I don't feel like I can give good advice about much of anything.
     
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  9. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    Yes, if they ask me and I am able to do so.

    In fact, I tend to default to giving advice and tend to give advice when it might not be wanted - I try not to do this.
     
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  10. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I suppose the difficulty with advice giving can be that everyone is different, so it's not going to be possible to offer advice that works for everyone; my advice would be to keep that in mind...

    Having said that, I do think that agencies that offer advice can be a godsend, like Citizens Advice and Legal advice etc. Helping people who are in difficulties or distress.
     
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  11. Misery

    Misery Photo-Negative V.I.P Member

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    I seem to spend half of my time on this forum giving advice.

    Whether or not it accomplishes anything is unknown.

    Outside of this site though, people seem to directly come to me with their problems often, from small problems to... nasty ones. So that's a thing.

    There's a chance.... a CHANCE, mind you... that I *might* have prevented someone from suiciding once. But it is very hard to tell if they *truly* intended to do it or not, so that all may not actually be the case. I dont know. Normally I dont speak of this, but I'm mentioning it here for who knows what bloody reason.

    I tell you what though... I'd rather not have to have that conversation with anyone ever again. Talk about nerve-wracking. Hopefully nobody here ever has to deal with that.
     
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  12. Peter Morrison

    Peter Morrison Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    For anyone with ASD, especially young people, I would advise on learning a lot about one's shortcomings and how these end up controlling one's behavior and mood. I believe that kids with ASD require self-protection strategies and valuable, realistic goals. We can't afford to just "wing it" through life. It's important to know what is easy and what is difficult, then choose the battles carefully. Never see yourself as a victim, but be aware of what a losing battle is. We can't all be astronauts, CEOs, and brain surgeons. This doesn't mean you can't have aspirations and high hopes. It means being aware of what you can and can't do for all the reasons that stem from the ASD condition that is personalized for you. Balance and structure is important to anyone. For us, we have to monitor our balance and structure because we can veer off from it easily. Continue learning about anything at all. Avoid too much negativity and don't give in to useless pressure from unworthy sources.

    There are too many directions in life, so excluding a few still leaves 1,000 other options. Take your education seriously and assess yourself for taking a role in your intended profession. Eat healthy food and avoid the couch potato syndrome. We can get depressed easily, if not daily, so find ways to combat the confusion of being unsure about yourself and wishing everything were neatly laid out and easy to follow. If you value your freedom, you have to face the decision making. Never let the confusion win.
     
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  13. Nervous Rex

    Nervous Rex High-functioning autistic V.I.P Member

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    I give advice all the time ... on this forum. In real life, much much less.

    One of the issues is that I want everything to be perfectly phrased. On this forum, I can review and rewrite as much as I want.

    In real life, you've got one chance to get it right, you'd better make it short or they'll lose attention, and you have to tiptoe around people's feelings and prejudices.

    So, if I give advice in real life, it's usually as a suggestion or question, like, "Have you considered trying [advice]?" or "What do you think would happen if you did [recommended action] next time?"

    I find that explaining why I would give a particular bit of advice is wasted breath. If they agree, they agree. If not, there is usually some principle or preconception that they're holding onto (because, of course, my opinions are always perfectly well thought out, and completely unbiased :rolleyes:).

    For specifics, most of my advice revolves around being kind to everyone, always, in all circumstances, because that's the one social rule that has never let me down.
     
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  14. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    If I'm asked, yes.
    If I'm not asked, yes.
    :)

    I'll offer a perspective, always with the best intention.
    I'm fully aware my perspectives or experiences aren't the only ones out there.
    There can be many and varied interpretations of the same situation, problem or subject.
    And in any case, one can only offer up what one knows.

    - 5 people in a room, each will have varying levels of knowledge on a particular subject. Non can offer up more than they know.
     
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  15. Nervous Rex

    Nervous Rex High-functioning autistic V.I.P Member

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    Rated "Funny" because you actually made me snort out loud!
     
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  16. SusanLR

    SusanLR Well-Known Member

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    A lot of it on the forums here.
    That's why I hardly ever start a thread, I post replies.
    If it is something I have no experience with I don't offer advice.
    Mainly my advice comes from sharing my experiences, reasons, and outcomes and hope
    it resonates with someone elses.
    Being older than most on here, I guess I have a lot of experiences to share. :D
     
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  17. Major Tom

    Major Tom Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Enjoy what you do have and don't dwell on what you don't.
     
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  18. WildCat

    WildCat and his scatterbrain V.I.P Member

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    Sure. Be careful who you take advice from, and be careful in giving it yourself. If you have to take advice, take it from people with actual experience in the matter rather than someone speaking from theory or regurgitating a textbook.

    Also, learn to think for yourself first. While the advice is free, the consequences can sometimes be costly.
     
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  19. HidinginPlainSight

    HidinginPlainSight Well-Known Member

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    Likely to live mostly in the present and, in that, do not become something you invest it for the future. The truth about that is that the future never comes in that mindset and you are never happy in the present.

    That doesn't mean to ignore planning for unforeseen or foreseen circumstances. Just not to get into the mindset of, "Once this happens then I will be happy." or "When I become this then I will be happy."
     
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  20. Creep

    Creep Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

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    Caveat emptor.

    Caveat emptor is a Latin term that means "let the buyer beware."

    It sums up how I feel about advice: it may fail to meet expectations or have defects.
     
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