Work Issues - Possible workplace Discrimination

[Abe1]

I am continuing to have issues in work.

I am an accountant with great maths skills and good technical knowledge however my interpersonal skills are weaker, and this has caused my problems.

I feel I have been overlooked in the past, and when I try to stand up for myself I tend to struggle, it is a very political environment and there are many socially manipulative people and I feel i have been used. So while my technical skills are great, I unfortunately occasionally get sarcy and snappy when stressed, which as you can imagine does not help my reputation.

Over the past few years I have not been considered for some roles, with people coming in taking over parts of my role.

Recently a new boss started and they know now about me having Aspergers, the problem is she has absolutely no idea how to handle me and I feel I might be discriminated against. Alternatively perhaps I am being paranoid, and work is only trying to help me, an issue I have is that I feel I cannot trust my judgement on people any more.

I have a number of options.

1. Keep things as they are - It is a decently paid job and fairly secure if I keep my head down.
2. Raise these issues with HR - which could help the situation or makes things much much worse.
3. Go on Sick Leave - I am on anti depressant medication and I think I could easily be signed off for a few weeks legitimately as it is effecting my health.
4. Take a Sabbatical - to recharge my batteries
5. Find Another Job - Not easy in the current local job climate.

3 and 4 probably would be better my me long term, but I fear that a break would be used against me, and they may find they will manage better without me.

 

[wanderer03]

I wish I could offer some advice, as I am experiencing the same thing where I work. I have four years and two weeks to retirement, so I'm hoping to hang on. I did play the Aspie card a few years ago with HR, but asked that it not be disclosed to my supervisors; I'd just as soon not have a layman that knows nothing about the spectrum look at me in a weird light. In my job I try to "stay below the radar," which helps keep the abuse to a minimum. Right now I'm experiencing some significant difficulties with a coworker with whom I have to share a truck. He's one of those types that is a trouble-maker, pot-stirrer, etc. I have found that trying to defend myself is futile, as I don't possess the skills; I'm not good at playing office politics and stabbing others in the back. What I have taken to doing now is keeping my mouth shut. If accused or questioned, I make no comment whatsoever. I give them NOTHING with which to work. It drives them crazy and keeps me from getting totally stressed.

It really is unfortunate to be in that situation. Unfortunately this hits very close to me. Almost every job I've had, I've had a saboteur...

 

[wanderer03]

I am continuing to have issues in work.

I am an accountant with great maths skills and good technical knowledge however my interpersonal skills are weaker, and this has caused my problems.

I feel I have been overlooked in the past, and when I try to stand up for myself I tend to struggle, it is a very political environment and there are many socially manipulative people and I feel i have been used. So while my technical skills are great, I unfortunately occasionally get sarcy and snappy when stressed, which as you can imagine does not help my reputation.

Over the past few years I have not been considered for some roles, with people coming in taking over parts of my role.

Recently a new boss started and they know now about me having Aspergers, the problem is she has absolutely no idea how to handle me and I feel I might be discriminated against. Alternatively perhaps I am being paranoid, and work is only trying to help me, an issue I have is that I feel I cannot trust my judgement on people any more.

I have a number of options.

1. Keep things as they are - It is a decently paid job and fairly secure if I keep my head down.
2. Raise these issues with HR - which could help the situation or makes things much much worse.
3. Go on Sick Leave - I am on anti depressant medication and I think I could easily be signed off for a few weeks legitimately as it is effecting my health.
4. Take a Sabbatical - to recharge my batteries
5. Find Another Job - Not easy in the current local job climate.

3 and 4 probably would be better my me long term, but I fear that a break would be used against me, and they may find they will manage better without me.

Abe1, do you like what you do? Do you like your occupation?

 

[Abe1]

Wanderer03 made this comment in the duplicate thread- and seeing as he went to the trouble of making the post, I have copied it here.

Abe1, Do like being an accountant? Were I you, I would start by asking myself this question. For many years I worked in IT and I was absolutely miserable. It just so happened that I was good at it and I reasoned that the devil I knew was better than the devil that I did not. As far as reasoning goes, this was an epic fail as I had almost daily private meltdowns. It took a hospitalization for me to recognize that I could no longer longer function.

I knew that I loved to drive so I got my class A CDL thinking I would drive a semi for a living. There is no fun quite like the fun of an 18 wheeler on an open country road. However, the city driving was enough stress to cause me not to want to do that. Then I had a personal trajedy (unrelated to occupation) that sent me into a tailspin and back in the hospital. Cautiously, I waded the waters back into driving but not tractor trailers. I drive a passenger van and it is okay but I miss the fact that cargo is silent. The part of my job that I love is being the errand guy. I love it when the maintenance shop sends me to get parts. It's easy and no stress, recline the seat, and cruise.

With the sound wisdom from many on here, I began to formulate a plan to become an independent contractor so I can do more of what I love. You've got some soul-searching to do. We can help you flesh out some ideas if you like.

 

[Abe1]

Thank you for your comments, and a very good question.

There are aspects of the job I like; I am good at analysing data, and enjoy that challenge.

However I struggle at the social aspects of work, and this has become worse over time, and the current open plan arrangement does not suit me (at all). Another issue is that I feel burnt out, and I have lost a lot of energy.

I also get very frustrated that I don’t feel I get the respect I deserve in work, and feel I have gone as far as I can with company. (probably the case of 90% of the population)

How much of this is due to the company, and who much the type of job, probably more the former.

You are right about the soul searching, I would have got back earlier but I thought only fair to give a considered response given the time you kindly gave to answering my question.

 

[wanderer03]

Thank you for your comments, and a very good question.

There are aspects of the job I like; I am good at analysing data, and enjoy that challenge.

However I struggle at the social aspects of work, and this has become worse over time, and the current open plan arrangement does not suit me (at all). Another issue is that I feel burnt out, and I have lost a lot of energy.

I also get very frustrated that I don’t feel I get the respect I deserve in work, and feel I have gone as far as I can with company. (probably the case of 90% of the population)

How much of this is due to the company, and who much the type of job, probably more the former.

You are right about the soul searching, I would have got back earlier but I thought only fair to give a considered response given the time you kindly gave to answering my question.

You're quite welcome!

Wow, an open office plan!? I have to give you credit for the strength and fortitude you're showing because an open office plan would be my personal recipe for disaster. I have some vague idea of how you must feel. I can imagine the daily bombardment of stimulation and the constant efforts to refocus.

With that much said, you've got a real and tangible talent! You are a planner and a data analyst whereas I'm good at raw execution of a plan, flexible if and when the plan goes south, and more adaptable to change. The world needs both competent operations people and planning people.

What industry do you work in? Maybe a change of company and industry is what you want? I could see you excelling in logistics or transportation.

 

[Abe1]

You're quite welcome!

Wow, an open office plan!? I have to give you credit for the strength and fortitude you're showing because an open office plan would be my personal recipe for disaster. I have some vague idea of how you must feel. I can imagine the daily bombardment of stimulation and the constant efforts to refocus.

With that much said, you've got a real and tangible talent! You are a planner and a data analyst whereas I'm good at raw execution of a plan, flexible if and when the plan goes south, and more adaptable to change. The world needs both competent operations people and planning people.

What industry do you work in? Maybe a change of company and industry is what you want? I could see you excelling in logistics or transportation.

I really don’t like the open plan office, for a number of reasons.

1. People talk too much, and being opinionated I often don’t like what is being said.
2. I get frustrated when people are talking and I am busy working.
3. It can get very noisy from all directions.
4. We have photo sensitive lights which change depending on outside light levels, not great.

I can go from feeling OK, to be very annoyed in a matter of minutes but it takes longer to calm back down.

PS I don’t like change.

My current field is Housing, a new company is probably the way forward for me, but alas the job situation locally is not that good.

Thanks again for your comments.

 

[clg114]

I am continuing to have issues in work.

I am an accountant with great maths skills and good technical knowledge however my interpersonal skills are weaker, and this has caused my problems.

I feel I have been overlooked in the past, and when I try to stand up for myself I tend to struggle, it is a very political environment and there are many socially manipulative people and I feel i have been used. So while my technical skills are great, I unfortunately occasionally get sarcy and snappy when stressed, which as you can imagine does not help my reputation.

Over the past few years I have not been considered for some roles, with people coming in taking over parts of my role.

Recently a new boss started and they know now about me having Aspergers, the problem is she has absolutely no idea how to handle me and I feel I might be discriminated against. Alternatively perhaps I am being paranoid, and work is only trying to help me, an issue I have is that I feel I cannot trust my judgement on people any more.

I have a number of options.

1. Keep things as they are - It is a decently paid job and fairly secure if I keep my head down.
2. Raise these issues with HR - which could help the situation or makes things much much worse.
3. Go on Sick Leave - I am on anti depressant medication and I think I could easily be signed off for a few weeks legitimately as it is effecting my health.
4. Take a Sabbatical - to recharge my batteries
5. Find Another Job - Not easy in the current local job climate.

3 and 4 probably would be better my me long term, but I fear that a break would be used against me, and they may find they will manage better without me.

I would like to suggest another option, become self-employed. I know what you are thinking because I was the same way. I did not start my own business until I was 62 years old because I did not think I could do it. Now at 70 I am still working because I am enjoying myself. My only regret about becoming self-employed is that I did not do it years earlier. The only people that you have to answer to are your customers and that is one on one. Think about it, it is very good way for a Aspie to make a living. What ever you do, good luck.

 

[wanderer03]

I really don’t like the open plan office, for a number of reasons.

1. People talk too much, and being opinionated I often don’t like what is being said.
2. I get frustrated when people are talking and I am busy working.
3. It can get very noisy from all directions.
4. We have photo sensitive lights which change depending on outside light levels, not great.

I can go from feeling OK, to be very annoyed in a matter of minutes but it takes longer to calm back down.

PS I don’t like change.

My current field is Housing, a new company is probably the way forward for me, but alas the job situation locally is not that good.

Thanks again for your comments.

I can understand perfectly! Now start thinking about what your needs and goals are - don't limit yourself to one career or what you're familiar with. Think in broad brush strokes, so to speak. As I mentioned before, I went through this process myself. I never believed that I would go from the corporate world to the blue collar one. If you had asked me 3 years ago, if I would get a CDL and drive for a living, I'd have called you crazy. While some people have lamented that I don't use my talents, I'll gladly trade that for a career that I don't mind doing.

 

[Abe1]

Thanks all for the very kind responses.
I am 41, so plenty of time for me to go self employed, but I am so risk averse at the moment.

 

[wanderer03]

Thanks all for the very kind responses.
I am 41, so plenty of time for me to go self employed, but I am so risk averse at the moment.

Believe me, I do understand. Just wade slowly into the waters of self-employment. No need to plunge in. If you could get a client that you could do work for on a Saturday?

 

[Jusdifferent]

I am continuing to have issues in work.

I am an accountant with great maths skills and good technical knowledge however my interpersonal skills are weaker, and this has caused my problems.

I feel I have been overlooked in the past, and when I try to stand up for myself I tend to struggle, it is a very political environment and there are many socially manipulative people and I feel i have been used. So while my technical skills are great, I unfortunately occasionally get sarcy and snappy when stressed, which as you can imagine does not help my reputation.

Over the past few years I have not been considered for some roles, with people coming in taking over parts of my role.

Recently a new boss started and they know now about me having Aspergers, the problem is she has absolutely no idea how to handle me and I feel I might be discriminated against. Alternatively perhaps I am being paranoid, and work is only trying to help me, an issue I have is that I feel I cannot trust my judgement on people any more.

I have a number of options.

1. Keep things as they are - It is a decently paid job and fairly secure if I keep my head down.
2. Raise these issues with HR - which could help the situation or makes things much much worse.
3. Go on Sick Leave - I am on anti depressant medication and I think I could easily be signed off for a few weeks legitimately as it is effecting my health.
4. Take a Sabbatical - to recharge my batteries
5. Find Another Job - Not easy in the current local job climate.

3 and 4 probably would be better my me long term, but I fear that a break would be used against me, and they may find they will manage better without me.

Workplace discrimination runs absolutely rampant for individuals with neurological issues! *I have AS, and my husband has Tourettes. ( No, he doesn't do the swearing. ) Although my husband is an engineer, ( mechanical ), is very good at his job, and has excellent references, he has experienced great difficulty in the past in getting a job. ( He no longer tells people that he has Tourettes; he merely passes it off as "allergies". ) Also, because of all the noise, ( throat clearing, sniffing, coughing... ), he makes, some of his officemates, don't like him, and treat him coldly. I feel badly for him, but don't really know how to help him, either Often people with neurological issues, not only face out and out discrimination, ( not getting hired, or even fired ), but we are often given "**** detail", overlooked for promotion, excluded from activities... The list goes on and on... It's a very complex problem, with no easy answers. Good luck, Abe <3

 

[Diagnosed2015]

Might I suggest you *do* ask her to meet with you. Explain what you need from her (if you aren't comfortable in person, send her an e-mail).

As you stated, she may not know what to do. (Bear with me, I'm getting to something)

I've recently started a Meetup group, and we got 11 members in less than 2 weeks, and we were able to meet "in person" ... in less than two weeks. That, in itself, is remarkable.

So, there were three other people in our group (Asperger's Diagnosed as Adults) but it was clear, even before our meeting, that we all had different ways of communicating. I welcomed someone to the group who considered himself "not social," and apparently I offended him, because he left the group.

So, when the four of us met, each of us had a different "presentation" (how we look, appear, lack of eye contact, mumbling, etc.) as well as any outwardly 'obvious' differences.

What I'm suggesting, is that I have to start researching and learning that the spectrum is very large, and that not everyone is affected, even in physicality (as seen by 'other' people). I am going to be asking all of them how to make them more comfortable, and what they need from me that I can provide.

Unless I ask "real people," I'll never know. So, if your employer has never met anyone with Asperger's, or the only other person she met appeared (somehow) differently than you, she honestly might just need to know. I wouldn't necessarily go to Human Resources yet, but if you e-mail your message, click the bcc: and put the e-mail address to Human Resources. That sends a copy to HR, but your boss doesn't know (because it's a "blind carbon copy").

You might put "Request for ADA Reasonable Accommodation" in the subject line, and write a note "requesting if some or all of these could be instituted." Then, you could do bullet items, such as *Must work in silence, *Prefers to remain silent, etc. There is a pretty good chance that everyone who works there will be learning about Asperger's, and you will probably not have too much difficulties.

If they give you grief, you can contact workplace agencies to step in on your behalf, as long as the requests are reasonable.

Hope this helps, it's not as complicated as it sounds.

 

[Abe1]

Thanks all for the replies, I thought I would reflect on the situation, and I think much of the problem is that don't know how to act around me.

Thee is also so much change in the organisation at the moment, that everyone is finding it difficult not just me.

It is also really helpful for me to be able to just chat on here in regard to this, so thanks everyone for the help, and forgive me if I moan too much.

 

[Mr Allen]

Even in North America, they have to accommodate your lack of social skills under "reasonable adjustments" IMO, but as long as you can do the job that shouldn't really be an issue unless they make it one.