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Words of wisdom about change

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Jenisautistic, Oct 28, 2020.

  1. Jenisautistic

    Jenisautistic Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Hey everyone


    Everything‘s been changing so fast with this pandemic One good changes having a mentor but I’m still getting used to everything about it


    I miss spending time with my grandmother and when something changes like in plans happen I kind of freak out a bit and get nervous


    Changing from trying to make is scheduled to go in with the flow with an feel very weird and jarring


    Hopefully soon I’ll going into a day program as well as seeing her


    My mentor used to be a teacher and during the pandemic she was not a teacher for a while and then she came back in the teaching and that first it was a bit unsettling I knew I would still see her but I’m used to seeing her in the mornings and seeing her with more energy things like that


    When we’re both tired it freaks me out a little because I don’t want anything else to change I don’t want her to end up having to leave we are doing our best to make it work find me doing my own thing during the day and seeing her after she teaches


    Anyone got some words of wisdom or good advice maybe could help me from freaking out as much


    I sometimes even worry about some showing off signs of mental illness or being hospitalized again


    What about my autism could be causing these freak outs?


    I guess I don’t know everything there is to know about autism like I thought I knew mostly but there’s still so much to learn



    That’s all I have to say for now I want more later if I’m able to
     
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  2. Wolfsage

    Wolfsage In training to be Wolf King.

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    I do the same with sudden changes. And yes experience the freakouts as well. Two things help with me at least. Really good relaxing music, a funny joke, and beautiful sunny days. Even a picture of a nice sunny day helps.
     
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  3. Sarah S

    Sarah S Well-Known Member

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    Jen i also have a mentor(or shall we say life coach) and belive me when i say without him i wouldent have comed in this forum i would have have ............ He is my life support /continence (helps me keep track on my self so i dont loose track in my thoughts & desitions ) and helps me with just about everything i may need and checks in with me by phone pretty much daily. (he took over the role my dear mother had before she got Alzheimer's.

    DONT be afraid to let youre mentor know how you feel Jen thats what she`s there for so the more you can open up to her the better she can try to help you.

    And Jen i can guarantee you that she alredy knows ALL about youre diagnosis so she will NOT freak out or leave you just for that

    And reg you risk being put in hospital again ? Doght it for what? They all alredy know about all youre diagnosis so try to not worry so much about that my friend.

    The worrying of things changing or those that helps you or those you care about will leave you we both share Jen . BUT we cant always worry about they one day have to leave us. What we both have to try is to learn to accept this fact and make the best of the time we do get with them dear
     
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  4. Jenisautistic

    Jenisautistic Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    She is sort of like a life coach she is a DSP or a direct support professional through my developmental disabilities program

    not that that matters and I have told her about this before oh and we are working on it she says not to use the word afraid around her and trying to let everything go

    I told her about the incidents in the hospital with me nealy been killed being killed and well you saw my video I don’t want to go to deeply in to it but I told her about what happened in the room and how they took away my innocence physically and figuratively oh anyway she said that I have one of two options I can either find it or I can choose to let go

    and she said I had to make a choice and that there was no going back on that choice

    She said if I find it I’m gonna have to go through lawyers and therapist and things like that and court and she talk to me about God and karma and she said those nurses or staff or whoever they are are probably being punished already or Cought doing some thing else and somehow are for what they did being punished from from god

    honestly she said they probably were caught with somebody else which is the reason why originally I wanted to fight it again

    she said if I choose to let it go and then I forgot what she said after but I decided to let it go ultimately



    she said that she will be with me for a long time and I have discussed the concerns about her teaching before as I mentioned

    and I’ve had freak out in front of her before like when I found out that she was teaching again for the first time I originals then I was happy for her but then didn’t know whether or not it would work out I said the day that she first started teaching again originally she was a bit hurt but then tried to call me down she later said that she herself was working on being more patient and understanding



    at the time then I freaked out the first day she was teaching another bad day her self I felt so bad afterwards
    By the way in general speaking my DSP does not believe in medication at all she believes that things can be solved using a healthy diet
    Exercise and things like that

    now that she’s kind of settled in to teaching things have been OK but sometimes we get really tired

    for for some reason I freaked out a couple more times One time yesterday because I’ve been going to the Special Olympics program and originally I was worried about her taking me already but she said she would be able to take me and one day we decided they were both too tired but mainly because I was worried about her not because of me

    because she seems so tired that I didn’t even think she could drive me there even if she want to and she was willing

    sorry if this post is a bit all over the place I haven’t slept that well in a while in fact I was up all night for no reason except maybe at a little too much caffeine

    My grandmothers has insomnia or what you would say not being able to sleep on and it’s just a thing with the family has in general that we all Experienced and then we just have to learn to cope with then there’s not much that can be done.

    I don’t know if I’m freaking out because of the lack of sleep the pandemic or what and I have no idea what is making me think then I would end up in the hospital again

    except maybe for the fact then I mean kind of I don’t know delirious if I may put it lately but I believe that’s because of the lack of sleep

    maybe because of what she said about letting go of what happened to me I feel like if I do and I let my mind just wanderer or whatever I am I end up in the state of PTSD or some sort of psychosis state in which I can’t control my body at all and my mind is controlling itself and acting like I’m doing one thing on my mind is trying to do another thing or whatever it is again

    I feel stuck because traditional therapy even though I feel pretty much fine would not work for me at all because well although I have a neuropsychologist she must be doing some type of therapy on me But anyway traditional therapy doesn’t work because I don’t believe my cognitive skills are high enough and I’m not trying to say that I’m not smart it’s just sad it’s all about communication and understanding of reading writing etc.

    One thing my DSP says is that I don’t have to explain myself to anyone can I have the right to be who I am which I agreed to as well although it’s not like I don’t know that it’s just the social skill issue as well as I am is your being anxious and curious at the same time

    as far as being out of my control of my body and mind we are also working on non- where if I would talk out my thoughts out loud she would just stay quiet but she still learning that sometimes I’m not intending to talk out my thoughts even know if I am I’m just thinking immediately and then saying itout my mouth without realizing I’m doing that

    she said she never wants to hear me say the words I’m afraid again

    she just wants in basically go with the flow and try to not think about things so much and it seems like she’s saying to let life be life

    And she saidAbout that original thing about hearing my friend in my head which actually originally was a good thing after in a weird sort of way like A spiritual way

    it was more about creativity or like imagining it as if my friends were there (and at the time I was trying to write a book through my journals and actually since my school read the giver I was trying to do a different version of it in my head like a fan fiction or something like that before the hospitalization ) more than it being a hallucination then an actual voice at least from what I can remember when the PTSD or whatever his hit that’s when it got kind of out-of-control now it’s fine it’s just that I am all of a sudden now these random thoughts are like a freak outs about that I want to not freak out because if I do somehow my brain is connecting and thinking that I might end up being in the hospital again or being misunderstood again or may be hurt again.
     
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  5. Sarah S

    Sarah S Well-Known Member

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    Jen

    if there is one thing life have toght me its LIVE life NOW and make the best of what you have to work with and try not to worry to mush about the future dear

    Thats what i belive she is trying to have you do as well . Take one day att a time and make that day the best you can.

    And reg the moving on i would say thats the best desition you can make Jen the trauma you have been thru is horrible and NOONE can take that away from you. But to take this further would probaly not doing you any good my friend and it would only risk you being put thru all that again & thats NOT worth it Jen.

    Reg the insomnia i had SEVERE sleeping disorder since i was a little girl so belive me i understand my friend

    I also have among my gazilion co morbid diagnosis Severe Anxiety disorder so again belive me when i say i know how it is when those thoughts pop up in youre mind. and the best advice i can give you is DONT listen to them its all in youre head dear & you CAN learn to deal with them and take back youre thoughts.

    I understand youre worried BUT as i also said worrying all the time will only increase the anxiety level even more making you be even more worried so try to relax and enjoy life as it is now my friend and dont worry so much about the future (the future is an unwritten chapter and can and will always change . and us worrying about it all the time wont help one bit . it will still continue to move forward and change as the time goes by )

    Oh and i would cut down on the coffee as well my friend ;) Especially at the evenings :)

    And Jen NEVER EVER feel that youre worth less then anyone else on this earth. Neither one of you and me have asked to be born with our diagnosis so neither one of us should have to feel were in need or fear to stand up for our selves and our diagnosis
     
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  6. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    It feels like you are really examing your thought process and l am very excited about this. You may feel a bit un-nerved and that's because you are digesting a lot of past trauma thoughts all at once. This makes us feel a bit unsteady. So you didnt deny this flooding of thoughts, you experienced them. That in itself is allowing and taking responsibilty for you. If you keep these thoughts buried and ignore them, l believe it causes us more pain. I have examined painful thoughts, l now accept these painful thoughts as part of my makeup. Its part of my core existence. And guess what? It's okay! So l am asking you to accept who you are, bad experiences and all the great experiences too. And power thru those thoughts , because you will feel stronger. But you feel less and less raw. The fact you are talking about this is fantastic. ☺

    Having painful thoughts doesn't make us less of a person. But accepting these thoughts, finding peace with them helps release us to move on.
     
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  7. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    I use to suffer from extreme worry aka anxiety. So l read something that said give yourself like 30 mins or 1 hour to worry as much as you can about anything you choose. So l thought about it, it sounded a tab foolish, and voila, l kicked the extreme worry habit. Kinda of a funny exercise.

    But l understand for some of us it maybe a chemical inbalance for us and not so easy to get past. l have a lot empathy for people who suffer chronically from anxiety, depression, and instability.
     
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  8. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    What l love about you is your emotional intelligence that comes thru despite the hardships you have faced. l truly wish you were my daughter.☺
     
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  9. AuBurney Tuckerson

    AuBurney Tuckerson ~GigglesTheAutisticHyena~

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    I hate sudden changes. It's like every time I perfect my schedule, another big changes comes to ruin it. And my mother is like "get over it", but I can't get things done with all these sudden changes!