Women don't like nice quiet males they prefer confident males (nice guys finish last)

[fadedface]

Anyone notice that women always go for the 'bad guys' and 'arrogant jerks'?

Its because women are attracted to confident males and the 'bad boys' usually have confidence which is why they are successful with women. Women place a lot of importance on confidence and they only seem to notice men who have confidence it doesn't necessarily matter if the man is a good person or not so long as he is confident (which is why you see so many violent and thuggish men in relationships. Well I do anyway) . However if your a socially awkward, polite and quiet male like myself who lacks confidence you just don't exist to women. I think its wrong that women place so much importance on confidence because there can be more to people than just confidence. I think women are being unfair ignoring quiet guys like me who lack confidence and only going for the confident and socially accepted males. I think its quite shallow.

A female retort to this would probably be 'but guys don't notice the quiet women' well in my opinion this just isn't true because women having confidence isn't necessarily important to males but even quieter women will have more opportunity than quiet males to have a relationship because males are always competing for women even the quieter and less good looking ones. But as men are expected to make the first move (for some reason?) the quiet guys like myself get ignored and left behind. I just don't think this is fair. I'm 28 years old and I've never had a girlfriend or been in a relationship and throughout all my life I've noticed that women from the good looking confident ones to the ordinary and shy ones all prefer confident, outgoing and socially accepted men. None of them have ever shown any interest in a quiet guy like me. Women will probably say I should get more confidence but I don't agree with this maybe if the women noticed quiet guys like me in the first place instead of only noticing the 'bad boys' and 'confident players' then quiet guys like me would gain some confidence.

My own personal theory on why women like the confidence 'bad boys' have is because women are genetically hardwired to be attracted to alpha males and lets be honest alpha males are always aggressively confident and competitive idiots. Women seem to ignore and not to notice nice quiet guys like me who lack confidence. The fact of the matter is that women are attracted to confidence in men more than anything else and it doesn't necessarily matter if the man is a good person or not so long as he is a confident alpha male.

Which is why women like 'bad boys' and 'confident and competitive' men because they are alpha males.

This proves that all human relationships between men and women are based on natural selection, self preservation and mutual self interest and anything else is just human egotism.

Well I'm glad I'm a quiet and polite omega male with no confidence and am looking forward to disappearing from the gene pool.

 

[Loomis]

Re: Women don't like nice quiet males they prefer confident males (nice guys finish l

I asked a woman recently why she chose her abusive husband. Her answer made sense. She said he was able to protect her. She did not realize in the beginning that he would become abusive.

 

[fadedface]

Re: Women don't like nice quiet males they prefer confident males (nice guys finish l

I asked a woman recently why she chose her abusive husband. Her answer made sense. She said he was able to protect her. She did not realize in the beginning that he would become abusive.

Well there you have it. Women are instinctively attracted to confident and strong men because they want to feel protected. It all goes back to evolution and the attraction women have toward men is based on natural selection on some instinctive subconscious level. I suppose this is why I have often read that women find 'bad boys' exciting and want to fix them because they are a challenge while nice guys like myself are considered boring and needy. I don't deny this in my case.

 

[Loomis]

Re: Women don't like nice quiet males they prefer confident males (nice guys finish l

Evolutionary biology is my specialty and you are correct that human sexual behavior is still heavily influenced by hardwired evolutionary factors.

In the animal world, and more particularly among mammals, females are nearly always the pickier sex. Behavioral biologists explain this as a function of the high reproductive costs to a female mammal. She cannot afford to make mistakes because the cost of reproduction on the female mammalian body is very high. Gestational resources are not easily obtained in the natural world and a pregnant female is also less able to acquire the scarce resources. In species where the male helps secure these resources, it makes perfect sense that females want to make sure they mate with high quality males.

Humans are mammals and evolution still plays a role in human sexuality. It is not necessarily a conscious factor but you cannot just throw away a hundred million years of evolution.

However, humans also differ from all other mammals because we are the only species with a complex culture passed down from generation to generation. So, although evolution is still active in mate choice among humans, culture and learning are important mitigating elements in human mate choice. Contraceptives, abortion, the abundance of food and the availability of high quality medical care greatly reduce the reproductive cost to a human female compared to other mammals. So female learning and her culture can override evolutionary influences in mate choice.

I can say with certainty that many women consciously choose kind good hearted males over aggressive, unpredictable alpha types. This can be especially true after a woman has had a bad experience the first go round.

Being quite and kind are not deficits. I agree that self-confidence is important but projecting confidence can be learned.

You should not give up.

 

[fadedface]

Re: Women don't like nice quiet males they prefer confident males (nice guys finish l

Evolutionary biology is my specialty and you are correct that human sexual behavior is still heavily influenced by hardwired evolutionary factors.

In the animal world, and more particularly among mammals, females are nearly always the pickier sex. Behavioral biologists explain this as a function of the high reproductive costs to a female mammal. She cannot afford to make mistakes because the cost of reproduction on the female mammalian body is very high. Gestational resources are not easily obtained in the natural world and a pregnant female is also less able to acquire the scarce resources. In species where the male helps secure these resources, it makes perfect sense that females want to make sure they mate with high quality males.

Humans are mammals and evolution still plays a role in human sexuality. It is not necessarily a conscious factor but you cannot just throw away a hundred million years of evolution.

However, humans also differ from all other mammals because we are the only species with a complex culture passed down from generation to generation. So, although evolution is still active in mate choice among humans, culture and learning are important mitigating elements in human mate choice. Contraceptives, abortion, the abundance of food and the availability of high quality medical care greatly reduce the reproductive cost to a human female compared to other mammals. So female learning and her culture can override evolutionary influences in mate choice.

I would agree with everything you've written about evolutionarily biology determining human behaviour particularly women being primarily attracted to strong, competitive and outgoing males. I don't think our culture is anywhere near intellectually developed enough to cause a shift in female behaviour which would lead to them being attracted to passive and quiet males like myself. Women on an instinctive level we always be attracted to the 'alpha male' especially when looking to procreate because as Darwinism dictates the stronger male will pass on the necessary genes which lead to a higher chance of the survival of her offspring. We may not live in a hunter gatherer society anymore (at least not overtly) but women will always be attracted to the confident, competitive and socially accepted males.

What I don't like is people who try to dress up human relationships as 'true love' when actually beneath this fa?ade its usually always a matter of natural selection and evolutionarily precepts which inform human relationships and by extent all human interaction which is based on self preservation and mutual self interest. If true love did exist it would be selfless (such as a woman loving a man with no social skills how often do you see that happen?) and I don't think genuine selflessness exists in humans or if it does its very rare.

I wish someone had of told me when I was younger that 'nice guys finish last' it would have saved me a lot of disappointment even though it was abundantly clear even then that women preferred confident guys regardless of whether they where idiots or not to nice quiet guys like myself but I had a lot of illusions about life such as 'true love' which are unfounded in real life. I think more awareness should be raised that women only like confident, outgoing and socially accepted males so as to save the quiet guys like me any disappointment.

 

[Cyanide Lollipop]

Re: Women don't like nice quiet males they prefer confident males (nice guys finish l

Some of us women are smart enough to realise that we should stay well away from the bad boys. They really are nothing but trouble. However the rescuer types mistakenly think they are going to change their bad boy and then live happily ever after.

Personally I prefer the nice guys. Having been the target of sexual predators, some of them quite aggressive, for the last 30 years, I feel a lot safer with the nice guys.

 

[Gomendosi]

Re: Women don't like nice quiet males they prefer confident males (nice guys finish l

Typing on my phone which is a giant pain ; ]


So called "ugly" people that are wealthy do alright in terms of partners & that has nothing to do with survival of the fittest... Or does it?
Also, if your looking for an attractive person you have to compete, not only with their ego, but with numerous other people that think they are attractive as well, while your looking to hook a big fish you might not see the smaller ones that maybe are thinking you're too good for them.
Everybody's idea of beauty and availability are vastly different, perhaps the ones you want don't see you and the ones you don't see are the ones that want you, so if you readjust your ability to find the beauty in everybody, the ones worth having might just be hiding in "plain" sight!

 

[fadedface]

Typing on my phone which is a giant pain ; ]
Everybody's idea of beauty and availability are vastly different, perhaps the ones you want don't see you and the ones you don't see are the ones that want you, so if you readjust your ability to find the beauty in everybody, the ones worth having might just be hiding in "plain" sight!

I've never had a girlfriend or been in a relationship and I have no expectations or standards.

In my experience ALL females from the good looking ones to the ones who are quieter and less confident ALL prefer confident, outgoing and socially accepted males something which I am not. So its not a case of not 'seeing the right ones' its a case that ALL women don't notice quiet guys like me who have no confidence.

Typing on my phone which is a giant pain ; ]So called "ugly" people that are wealthy do alright in terms of partners & that has nothing to do with survival of the fittest... Or does it?
!

Of course it does as you well know.

Nice guys finish last unless their rich of course.

I read somewhere that females ideally want to procreate with an alpha male and then have a beta male to be the stable provider after the alpha male has left or the female see's the true abusive side of the alpha male. So once females get into their thirties or even later in some cases and the thrill of the 'bad boy' has turned sour they start to look for an affluent beta male to provide for them and its then that they start to notice nice guys on the condition that the nice guy is successful or wealthy of course so even then its only a small amount of nice guys who get noticed.

 

[King_Oni]

Re: Women don't like nice quiet males they prefer confident males (nice guys finish l

Must make a a terrible guy to be with

In the past 13 years I've been single for just about 2 years (give or take) in total. Oh, and before I forget, I'm not abusive, nor do I intend to. Actually any argument can pretty much spell the end of a relationship for me, just because I don't like argueing at all. And weirdly enough I keep out of arguments a lot.

In the past 13 years I've been in 4 serious relationships, where the short ones (about 8 months, 2 of them) was with someone who clearly was not on any spectrum, someone of whom I know is on the spectrum (currently; dating for about 16 months now) and someone of whom I suspect it (8,5 years)

All relationships, well... 3 of 4, since I'm still in one right now, ended up with a "we can agree to disagree" and didn't end up with a big fight. Granted, I don't see my exes anymore but there's no real bad blood between us.

But all things considering in the above posts; I'm an aspie and while I'm not a big bad alpha male, I'm surely not the quiet one either. Maybe I am in fact more confident than some. But perhaps it's a certain kind of bluntness that makes me oblivious to all kinds of shame some people are afraid of.

The alpha male and protection does make sense I guess... makes me wonder; what if you can (and will) protect your loved ones and don't necessarily fall within that alpha male stereotype?

 

[fadedface]

Re: Women don't like nice quiet males they prefer confident males (nice guys finish l

Must make a a terrible guy to be with

In the past 13 years I've been single for just about 2 years (give or take) in total. Oh, and before I forget, I'm not abusive, nor do I intend to. Actually any argument can pretty much spell the end of a relationship for me, just because I don't like argueing at all. And weirdly enough I keep out of arguments a lot.

In the past 13 years I've been in 4 serious relationships, where the short ones (about 8 months, 2 of them) was with someone who clearly was not on any spectrum, someone of whom I know is on the spectrum (currently; dating for about 16 months now) and someone of whom I suspect it (8,5 years)

All relationships, well... 3 of 4, since I'm still in one right now, ended up with a "we can agree to disagree" and didn't end up with a big fight. Granted, I don't see my exes anymore but there's no real bad blood between us.

But all things considering in the above posts; I'm an aspie and while I'm not a big bad alpha male, I'm surely not the quiet one either. Maybe I am in fact more confident than some. But perhaps it's a certain kind of bluntness that makes me oblivious to all kinds of shame some people are afraid of.

The alpha male and protection does make sense I guess... makes me wonder; what if you can (and will) protect your loved ones and don't necessarily fall within that alpha male stereotype?

It all comes down to confidence women like confident men and by your own admission you are confident which explains why you have been successful in relationships. However if your a quiet guy who lacks confidence like myself then women just don't notice you and I think this is unfair because confidence is external and says nothing about who a person really is. Also not everyone is capable of being confident and assertive I know I am not and it makes me kinda angry when I think of all the confident males who have relationships and then all the males who been denied the chance to have a relationship just because we lack confidence. I think its quite shallow for women to put some much emphasis on men being confident.

As for the alpha male thing I think any male who has a reasonable amount of confidence is an alpha male which is why women like them because they feel protected in their company. Women only seem to like guys who are confident, outgoing and competitive and any males who are not like this and who are quiet, timid and passive like myself are considered to be 'creepy' by some women and I think this is just wrong. I've been ignored by women my whole life because I'm quiet I've never even had a female friend but when I was younger I wasn't just ignored by women I was ridiculed and mocked by them as well because I was quiet and passive. I think women do marginalise quiet men in social situations and even get stronger and more confident males to bully quiet males like myself in certain situations.

I think women should start noticing and approaching quiet and socially awkward males like myself instead of only liking the confident males.

 

[manca]

Re: Women don't like nice quiet males they prefer confident males (nice guys finish l

I think one of the problems with nice, quiet guys is also that they don't approach or try to talk at all. I think we (the girls) would try to make things work even if you didn't have bad boy attitude, but most of women still won't make the first step. I know I don't.

I think there were 2 or 3 guys that actually asked me out. They had the bad boy attitude, I found them pushy and was scared. I turned them down and escape as fast as I could. There's another thing that makes no sense to me: they were practically strangers, I talked with them only few times, they don't know me and I don't know them, so how could I go out with them? Alone? Why not take time and try to be friends first?

But yes, take all I say with a little bit of grain, my relationship with people aren't doing well at all.

 

[lizzy171002]

Re: Women don't like nice quiet males they prefer confident males (nice guys finish l

Congrats OP, you've managed to hit my rage button. I am not quite calm enough to reply to this yet, so instead I leave you with a calm and rational guy explaining why what you just wrote pisses me off.

 

[fadedface]

Re: Women don't like nice quiet males they prefer confident males (nice guys finish l

Congrats OP, you've managed to hit my rage button. I am not quite calm enough to reply to this yet, so instead I leave you with a calm and rational guy explaining why what you just wrote pisses me off.

Please don't overreact.

I was only stating the truth based on observations derived from my own personal experience that women are primarily attracted to confident, outgoing and socially accepted males unlike quiet and passive males such as myself who lack the confidence too talk to women. As a previous female poster just said she always lets men make the first move which is something females in general do which is why invariably some females end up with 'bad boys' because they have the confidence to approach women while a quiet and passive male like myself does not have the confidence to approach women.

My objection is that women should start noticing guys like me who have no confidence and approaching us to bring us out of our shells but as most women just sit back and let men compete for their interest this doesn't happen.

 

[oscar2012]

You are who you are and a woman should like you for who you are not what you are arragant/obnoxios/oh and ignorant to stay strong in what you believe in. As they say Rome was not built in a day face

YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE dont let people change that they should like you for who you are not what you dont have stay strong face

 

[Cyanide Lollipop]

Re: Women don't like nice quiet males they prefer confident males (nice guys finish l

There's a lot of truth in that video! Nice guys don't finish last. Insecure guys who lack confidence finish last. In my last relationship I was always the one who had to keep leaving my comfort zone to let him know how I felt. I'm AS too so it was just as difficult for me as it was for him. If you're not prepared to share the burden of getting out of your comfort zone, then it should come as no surprise when you're left on the shelf.

 

[Ste11aeres]

Please don't overreact.

I was only stating the truth based on observations derived from my own personal experience that women are primarily attracted to confident, outgoing and socially accepted males unlike quiet and passive males such as myself who lack the confidence too talk to women. As a previous female poster just said she always lets men make the first move which is something females in general do which is why invariably some females end up with 'bad boys' because they have the confidence to approach women while a quiet and passive male like myself does not have the confidence to approach women.

My objection is that women should start noticing guys like me who have no confidence and approaching us to bring us out of our shells but as most women just sit back and let men compete for their interest this doesn't happen.

Please remember that women are told over and over again that that's what they should do. That they should just sit back and let men take all the first (and second and third) moves. Search the internet for dating coaches who give advice to women. Over and over they tell her to be completely passive. The only exception I know of, is the Matthew Hussey, the one dating coach who tells women to take initiative. He gives far better advice than the others.



1.I can tell you that I (a woman) definitely prefer quiet sweet guys. Different women have different tastes.
2.I also know that some confident guys are nice. Men fall into more than two categories.
3. I have never been in a relationship either, and I am certain this is connected with my Aspergers. The brutal brutal truth is, it's harder for us than for most people, to be in relationships.

An NT male who is quiet and nice, has a good chance, as does one who is loud. An aspie male who is quiet will be perceived as creepy, an aspie male who is loud will be perceived as even creepier. Because he will have the wrong facial expressions, and not realize it, he will say things the wrong way, and not realize it.
It's hard to say this, partly because I don't want to hurt anyone, neither do I want to admit this.
But it is not impossible. You still might find that one person who can appreciate you the way you are. I won't promise it will happen. It took me years to find that one platonic friend who loves me the way I am. It is possible for you, too.

 

[Sparticus]

You are 1 million % right! PLUS women online MUST attack you for saying this! [Mothernature.] Btw I'm new here, this is my
first post, I've had a DIFFICULT TIME registering for this website [my new email service which made registering here an almost impossible task.] So I'm not in the best mood right now...but EVERYTHING you have said is on Google. It's undisputed fact that you are right.

Study body language [I know, I know, I've spent decades & especially the last 10 years studing this] especially a Hollywood Male movie star. Best to pick out a male movie star from an OLD movie...someone you like & imitate them. 1st test-DRESS up very nice and notice how you feel. But notice that others will treat you different IF you change your body languge to be more confident. It takes practice and I slump off a lot...

Google "getting game" "pick up forums" etc. Google anything like "how to get a woman" + "pick up" or an "getting game." I'm not advocating to hurt any woman or be deceptive. Rather I advocate if you want a girlfriend, then learn the language of women [trust me very very very very few will attempt to learn the man language or want to get into YOUR head in the beginning. Men must learn the female psychology or we perish in isolation.

Forget ALL the dating advice women give you like "be nice" or "have a sense of humor." That won't get you ANY play! Remember it's ALL body language. And once in awhile, even us males with Aspergers can have a good day. Ok I know! But the reality is if we don't try we will be lonely. On EharmonyAdvice [when they had a free forum] HUNDREDS OF WOMEN TRASHED "nice" and "good" men on thread after thread! That's right, women on EharmonyAdvice jumped on nice men online and labeled them ___ and ____.

With the venom spit out by hundreds of women per "nice" guys...it's a wonder any woman wants a good man. Of course online you will ALWAYS get the woman who says "but...but...but...I want...a nice guy!" Yeah right... Be an Alpha...otherwise perish on the Mining planet Vulgaria! [on the top of the surface of Vulgaria, it's -120 degrees]....brrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Ya git da message.

Another thing-avoid toxic women...puleaze...ask a few older men...seasoned Vulgarian Veterans...I've survived -200 degree days...

Anyone notice that women always go for the 'bad guys' and 'arrogant jerks'?

Its because women are attracted to confident males and the 'bad boys' usually have confidence which is why they are successful with women. Women place a lot of importance on confidence and they only seem to notice men who have confidence it doesn't necessarily matter if the man is a good person or not so long as he is confident (which is why you see so many violent and thuggish men in relationships. Well I do anyway) . However if your a socially awkward, polite and quiet male like myself who lacks confidence you just don't exist to women. I think its wrong that women place so much importance on confidence because there can be more to people than just confidence. I think women are being unfair ignoring quiet guys like me who lack confidence and only going for the confident and socially accepted males. I think its quite shallow.

A female retort to this would probably be 'but guys don't notice the quiet women' well in my opinion this just isn't true because women having confidence isn't necessarily important to males but even quieter women will have more opportunity than quiet males to have a relationship because males are always competing for women even the quieter and less good looking ones. But as men are expected to make the first move (for some reason?) the quiet guys like myself get ignored and left behind. I just don't think this is fair. I'm 28 years old and I've never had a girlfriend or been in a relationship and throughout all my life I've noticed that women from the good looking confident ones to the ordinary and shy ones all prefer confident, outgoing and socially accepted men. None of them have ever shown any interest in a quiet guy like me. Women will probably say I should get more confidence but I don't agree with this maybe if the women noticed quiet guys like me in the first place instead of only noticing the 'bad boys' and 'confident players' then quiet guys like me would gain some confidence.

My own personal theory on why women like the confidence 'bad boys' have is because women are genetically hardwired to be attracted to alpha males and lets be honest alpha males are always aggressively confident and competitive idiots. Women seem to ignore and not to notice nice quiet guys like me who lack confidence. The fact of the matter is that women are attracted to confidence in men more than anything else and it doesn't necessarily matter if the man is a good person or not so long as he is a confident alpha male.

Which is why women like 'bad boys' and 'confident and competitive' men because they are alpha males.

This proves that all human relationships between men and women are based on natural selection, self preservation and mutual self interest and anything else is just human egotism.

Well I'm glad I'm a quiet and polite omega male with no confidence and am looking forward to disappearing from the gene pool.

Forgot...online women MUST be politically Correct [it's a BORG Hive mentality thingie...] ;P So please remember that asking this question ONLINE is going to get you self censured answers...IF you follow their advice, you will be writing back here in one year "but...I listened to your advice and am still alone?!"

Trust me...ask men...and only men...find an online dating forum where only men post... Ok I have to go back to me Pirate task of getting slaves in other Universes to unite...in our fight...for better treatment on Mining planets & moons...oh..no@! Here they come again...with their internet electric prods! I have to go...whatever you do, don't press the Blue button... uggg...

Good luck Soldier!

 

[lizzy171002]

Re: Women don't like nice quiet males they prefer confident males (nice guys finish l

I am going to keep this reply in as positive a tone as I can.

? You are 1 million % right! PLUS women online MUST attack you for saying this! [Mothernature.] ?? ?but EVERYTHING you have said is on Google. It's undisputed fact that you are right.?

So, wait, what you are saying here is that because it is on the internet (the same internet that boasts thousands of websites devoted to the ?Hollow Earth? theory, mind you) it must be true? That is a remarkable lack of logic, never mind critical thinking.

?Study body language ?

Body language DOES help, but you know who it helps? YOU. This is a manifestation of ?Fake it ?til you make it? i.e. pretending to be confident, makes you more confident. Confidence (being pleased with who YOU are, being secure IN YOUR OWN IDENTITY) is attractive. Don?t study body language in an attempt to ?become? someone else. Use it to become more WHO YOU WANT TO BE.

?Google "getting game" "pick up forums" etc. Google anything like "how to get a woman" + "pick up" or an "getting game." I'm not advocating to hurt any woman or be deceptive. Rather I advocate if you want a girlfriend, then learn the language of women [trust me very very very very few will attempt to learn the man language or want to get into YOUR head in the beginning. Men must learn the female psychology or we perish in isolation.?

First of all, it isn?t a game. Acting like dating or romance is a game is a defense mechanism designed to keep you from being emotionally vulnerable to whomever you are trying to date. This shows us that you are feeling insecure in yourself and what you have to offer a mate. This is counterproductive, and will probably lead to your partner leaving you eventually. I know this is a big problem for us Aspies, because we aren?t good at emotional vulnerability in the first place, and have a hard time with dealing with someone else?s emotions in most cases. You really aren?t doing yourself a favour by further acerbating the relationship by making it ?a game?.

Second of all, ?the man language?, really? I would just like to point out: Human men and Human Women aren?t actually different species. We have specifically evolved to be able to communicate efficiently. We on the spectrum have a huge disadvantage in this arena, but most adult women do actually try to communicate effectively with their mates, just as most adult men do. There is no ?woman language? or ?man language?; rather there are perspectives from which one or the other sees subjects. It can be very hard to see something from someone else?s perspective, but it isn?t impossible. We are all HUMAN beings.

?Forget ALL the dating advice women give you like "be nice" or "have a sense of humor." That won't get you ANY play! Remember it's ALL body language. And once in awhile, even us males with Aspergers can have a good day. Ok I know! But the reality is if we don't try we will be lonely. On EharmonyAdvice [when they had a free forum] HUNDREDS OF WOMEN TRASHED "nice" and "good" men on thread after thread! That's right, women on EharmonyAdvice jumped on nice men online and labeled them ___ and ____. ?

Let us change this up a bit. If we were to change this by replacing ?women? with ?aspies? and ?men? for ?NTs?, for example, would that be acceptable? After all, there is apparently a neurological difference between men and women that make effective communication difficult, isn?t that what you were saying earlier? Much like the difficulties ASPIES have with communicating with NTs.

?Forget ALL the dating advice aspies give you like "be nice" or "have a sense of humor." That won't get you ANY play! Remember it's ALL body language. And once in awhile, even us NT-males can have a good day. Ok I know! But the reality is if we don't try we will be lonely. On EharmonyAdvice [when they had a free forum] HUNDREDS OF ASPIES TRASHED "nice" and "good" NTs on thread after thread! That's right, ASPIES on EharmonyAdvice jumped on nice NTs online and labeled them ___ and ____.?

Do you see what I?m saying? It is a sweeping generalization that all women trash ?good? guys. Beyond that, you aren?t actually OWED any kind of sexual or intimate relationships. GETTING SOME, should not be the only goal of any person. If that is all you want, there are plenty of prostitutes in the world that need a lot less effort. Surely if sex is all you are after, you don?t need to inflict yourself on someone who might actually want a relationship. Perhaps it is because I am Scandinavian, but I don?t see any shame in frequenting the services of a prostitute. That way, no one?s feelings will get hurt.

?With the venom spit out by hundreds of women per "nice" guys...it's a wonder any woman wants a good man. Of course online you will ALWAYS get the woman who says "but...but...but...I want...a nice guy!" Yeah right... Be an Alpha...otherwise perish on the Mining planet Vulgaria! [on the top of the surface of Vulgaria, it's -120 degrees]....brrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Ya git da message.?

Please watch the video I embedded earlier for an actual ?Nice? guy telling you exactly why there are women who ?spit venom? at ?nice? guys. I think it is pretty clear that you wont take the word of a women on this subject, but perhaps the word of a fellow man might get through to you?

I?d hate to be the one to have to point this out to you, but we aren?t actually dogs, or wolves. There is no ?Alpha? position here, nor are women ?bitches? to need an ?alpha?.

?Another thing-avoid toxic women...puleaze...ask a few older men...seasoned Vulgarian Veterans...I've survived -200 degree days... ?

I actually agree that you should ask older men, but ask men who are still happily married. It should be very clear that they are the ones who actually know how to be in relationships with women. Find someone who is in their 25+ year and still speaks well of his wife, and vice versa. These are the men to emulate.

?Forgot...online women MUST be politically Correct [it's a BORG Hive mentality thingie...] ;P So please remember that asking this question ONLINE is going to get you self censured answers...IF you follow their advice, you will be writing back here in one year "but...I listened to your advice and am still alone?!" ?

While extreme political correctness can be ridiculous, a little simple courtesy is not. Treating women you meet, be it online or in the flesh, like they are raving lunatics, BORGS, or dull wits, is hardly going to get you any kind of romantic success.

?Trust me...ask men...and only men...find an online dating forum where only men post... Ok I have to go back to me Pirate task of getting slaves in other Universes to unite...in our fight...for better treatment on Mining planets & moons...oh..no@! Here they come again...with their internet electric prods! I have to go...whatever you do, don't press the Blue button... uggg...?

?Yes, go ahead and go to dating websites where only men post, but remember this: Men probably want to be treated with as much respect as women do if you want to have an actual relationship, though I admit to not knowing if it is easier to get a man to be your ?**** buddy? than a woman.

Good luck Soldier!

This isn't actually a war, you know that right? Relationships are about working together, not "winning".

 

[fadedface]

Thank you Sparticus for what you've written and it's refreshing to see someone tell it how it is.

I don't need any female to tell me that women don't prefer confident males and exciting 'bad boys' compared to quiet males such as myself I've seen it throughout my entire life women having relationships with males who are confident bordering on arrogant, smug and generally unlikeable. The genuinely 'nice guys' are the ones like myself who have no confidence, low self esteem and who are polite and timid.

Now women may say to this that 'some confident men are nice' but I don't believe this and in my experience confident males usually marginalise quiet males such as myself in social situations which I consider to be a form of bullying in itself. Why don't women be honest and admit life is a cruel and unfair competition and only the most confident and competitive males are successful with women?

If you break down all human social interaction it really is nothing but a competition and women play their part in this by allowing males to compete fiercely for them and the alpha males know that only the most aggressively confident and competitive ones among them will be successful with women which is why they act in this manner.

The bottom line is that women (particularly during their youth) are only interested in confident, competitive and outgoing males and I would even go as far to say that women dislike quiet, passive and timid males such as myself because we are uncompetitive and socially inept and these things make women uncomfortable because women are inherently sociable.

Please remember that women are told over and over again that that's what they should do. That they should just sit back and let men take all the first (and second and third) moves.

I stopped reading there because that says it all.

Don't women have the strength of mind to exercise their freewill and break free of social conditioning and actually approach quiet males like myself? Don't say to me that some women lack confidence as well because I don't actually believe this (yes some women are shy but there is a difference between being shy and lacking confidence in my opinion) and all women are inherently socialable so it should be them who help less confident males socially interact better!

However it seems that most women are content to sit back and let the confident and arrogant males compete for them while the genuine 'nice guys' like me with no confidence and poor social skills get left behind. Women could change this but they won't and I don't think its right.

 

[lizzy171002]

Re: Women don't like nice quiet males they prefer confident males (nice guys finish l

I stopped reading there because that says it all.

Don't women have the strength of mind to exercise their freewill and break free of social conditioning and actually approach quiet males like myself? Don't say to me that some women lack confidence as well because I don't actually believe this (yes some women are shy but there is a difference between being shy and lacking confidence in my opinion) and all women are inherently socialable so it should be them who help less confident males socially interact better!

However it seems that most women are content to sit back and let the confident and arrogant males compete for them while the genuine 'nice guys' like me with no confidence and poor social skills get left behind. Women could change this but they won't and I don't think its right.

Do you even hear yourself anymore? Women do not OWE you anything, nor are the OBLIGED to make up for YOUR shortcomings. Women are people, just like men are. There are PLENTY of women with confidence issues. NOT ALL WOMEN ARE "INHERENTLY" SOCIABLE, AND EVEN IF THEY WERE, IT ISN'T THEIR JOB TO FIX YOUR PROBLEMS. You are not at all coming off as a 'nice guy' but rather a misogynistic *******.