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Will she ever come back?

P

Pbc

New Member
Hey all, so some of you may have saw my other post from a few weeks back. The TLDR is that my Aspie ex gf broke up with me and I was looking for answers and my options to try and get her back. A confusing breakup and I need help

Well I decided to send her a letter, it has been almost two months since we last talked so I figured it was about time. I tried to explain my faults, where I messed up by not recognizing and giving her the space she needed, how she shouldn't have to change herself for anyone etc. Just trying to be very understanding and apologizing for my part in the breakup. Then leaving things open if she ever wanted to talk in the future.

After sending the letter and doing some more research, I read up on Autistic burnout and honestly im 99% confident thats exactly what happened. All the signs of what happened, from her saying things like 'I feel so lucky' 'You make me so happy' 'I want this to last long term', 'I hope this is the first of many' etc to then needing space almost instantly. I gave her space but definitely not enough of it after reading up on how burnout works for Aspie's.

Im presuming she then got the letter after my research. I was hoping for a response but said I understood if I didn't get one and if she needed more time.

She then without any warning, removed me on all the social media's and deleted our old texts together which hurt quite bad. I was just trying my best to show her I understand, get a bit of closure and leave things on a positive note with a view to the future if she ever wanted to talk. Instead I just feel like bridges have been burned

So im going to leave her alone, im not going to reach out again. I got what I wanted to say out there, but my heart hurts so bad now. I feel like I lost a friend and a relationship. It hurts even more so that she just broke off our contact options without warning or at least a 'heres why'

So I guess im looking for your experiences with burnout, and if you think there is a chance she ever reaches out down the line.
 
That's a good first step which is leaving her alone, it is hard, I went through the same thing. Except I'm autistic, not neurotypical. You seem like a pretty nice dude and I know that they're are probably many women that would want to date you, I would suggest to just go get them, playa. I'm not really good at giving dating advice, I tried.
 
Sometimes people feel they need to move on, and despite there may be complexities in how they feel about someone, they just don't see the relationship can work for them. Then they may feel it drags at them to keep reminders of it. They want a fresh start, and not to ruminate on what might have been. It's their process, not a comment on the ex. Don't take it to heart.
 
Thinx said:
Sometimes people feel they need to move on, and despite there may be complexities in how they feel about someone, they just don't see the relationship can work for them. Then they may feel it drags at them to keep reminders of it. They want a fresh start, and not to ruminate on what might have been. It's their process, not a comment on the ex. Don't take it to heart.
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the letter explained a lot about how we could make things work if she wanted in the future, so I guess it’s just letting her go through the process.

Hard not to take it to heart either, the big thing for me I guess is that I don’t understand what she personally is going through and I wish I could so Id understand and support better.

thanks for the responses you three, I appreciate it
 
It hurts, but I think it’s best to close this chapter for yourself. If she chooses to reach out somewhere in the future, fine. But for the foreseeable future, all signs point to her not wanting contact with you.
 
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