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Why is there a lack of young teens on this forum

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Matthew Behnke, Feb 8, 2020.

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  1. Matthew Behnke

    Matthew Behnke Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I have noticed a little weird trend on this site, a lot of users I meet are usually people who are older and have had autism, young adults, but I don't really see a lot of people who are under 18, I saw two users who were under 18 but of course I never get to meet them or I don't see them in threads where we discuss stuff, overall, I don't think I have seen anyone under my age here nor anyone below 18 either, some people have been surprised I am 14 on this forum when I tell them my age, I still don't really mind older users, I feel like they give good insight into things and are helpful, plus I know people struggle with not being able to be diagnosed at a young age or at childhood.

    I am really glad to have found this site because a lot of adults here don't really know people who have had autism for a lifetime and it must be frustrating for them, and they have told me the struggles of being diagnosed late.

    If there are any people below 18, I would curiously like to know, because it seems like a rarity to meet them, I have only seen a few but I don't want to name them, but I have seen this as a notorious demographic trend on this forum.
     
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  2. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    A lot of teens are involved as gamers. My child right into her teenager years played Xbox or did homework or did anime conventions.
     
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  3. Matthew Behnke

    Matthew Behnke Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I am not really a gamer, I just think about life every day, and to be honest, video games are no longer interesting to me anymore and don't feel like an escape, plus I haven't played playstation in a long time or console games, so that is why I am depressed and getting diagnosed, I focus on things normally another teenager wouldn't really want to think about, I feel transitioning from 13 to 14 made me mature pretty fast.
     
  4. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    A lot of younger folks are, whether they like it or not, involved in large, ever-changing social systems. As you grow older, you increasingly need to find socializing opportunities on your own, such as this forum.
     
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  5. Misery

    Misery Photo-Negative V.I.P Member

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    My theory: I would imagine alot of teens are already mostly consumed by school and homework. Particularly in the US, where the school system seems to have this idea that draining each student of all of their free time is helpful somehow. Not to mention the fact that most teens are reliant on their parents, when it comes to things like owning and using a computer in the first place. When the parents say that the teen cant use the PC much, they probably arent going to be on the internet much.

    Adults on the other hand can avoid those things. Yeah, many work, but not all. And there's no restrictions beyond that really. Parents generally arent going to try to tell their 35 year old offspring that they're not allowed on the computer today because they didnt clean their room (if that was the case, I'd never be on here at all)

    But also though, I have to wonder how much of it is just the technological trends. Alot of kids/teens are growing up in a time where the tech world already contains things like Facebook and Twitter.... classic forums may be seen as arcane. But alot of us on this site have been on the net since looooooong before social media happened, so we're used to this. Grew up with AOL, myself. 56k, yep....

    Honestly, I wouldnt worry about it. I dont know about everyone else here, but I tend to not give a fart how old the person I'm talking to is. The way I see it, it doesnt change who they are as a person. Granted, it's not like I talk to hardly anyone though, so....

    I notice though that this seems to be a fairly common way of looking at it among those on the spectrum. At least in my experience.
     
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  6. Matthew Behnke

    Matthew Behnke Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I generally feel really depressed, I am 14, and I am about to get diagnosed with depression, I think it’s necessary because what I am feeling is not OCD and I feel I argue with my parents a lot and get angry at people who think they are better than me.

    I learn Russian and have LDR girlfriend (she turned 17), our birthdays are not too far apart and close, but I had to fight for my life because of depression because all these people were doubting me and people saying they are proud online that they know a language more than another person.

    I am sorry, I got very depressed and I feel I would rather die than live a miserable life, I am suffering a lot and the fact people in this world want to make people applaud them for their achievements when others are suffering is awful.
     
    Last edited: Feb 8, 2020
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  7. Matthew Behnke

    Matthew Behnke Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I also unschool too because of my awful OCD, depression, ADHD.
     
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  8. Matthew Behnke

    Matthew Behnke Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    So that is why I have distanced myself from school and depressed.
     
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  9. Matthew Behnke

    Matthew Behnke Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I really hate school, I am glad I was taken out of it because I am in a awful mental state and I would go out of control if I was put back.
     
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  10. Matthew Behnke

    Matthew Behnke Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Judging by your posts, I don’t know if your depressed as I am but the school system in my city is terrible and I feel I am way more depressed than people my age.
     
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  11. Rasputin

    Rasputin ASD / Aspie V.I.P Member

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    It seems that you do have a lot of depression from reading your comments. Part of that may be due to feelings of isolation, from having no one your age to interact with. And your writing is not indicative of your age. You write like someone much older, and that might make it more difficult to connect with people your age. I would discuss this with your doctor when you meet to get diagnosed for depression.

    Also, Matthew you remind me of myself somewhat at your age. I didn't grow up in the best circumstances, and probably was also depressed. As you get older, it should get better.
     
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  12. Major Tom

    Major Tom Searching for ground control... V.I.P Member

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    I think a lot of younger folks have other platforms such as school to communicate with others . As you get older, you start reaching out further because friends move away, relatives die and so on.

    I hope that you can get things under control. I know at 14, I was a raging ball of hormones. Maybe that's part of what's going on with you?
     
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  13. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    Having been here for a number of years, I don't think it's a stretch to say that this forum was designed by adults, for adults. That minors and neurotypicals are certainly welcome, but they simply don't reflect the dominant demographic. One that needs to be heard, given so much stigmatization implying that autism is just for children.

    With the reality being that we autistic kids grow up to become autistic adults. A message that makes it critical for us to be seen and heard. That we do in fact exist and don't "grow out" of our autistic traits and behaviors.

    And as others have commented on, there are plenty of things most younger people do to occupy their time besides coming to a forum like this one. Indeed when you subtract school obligations, gaming and television, for a lot of kids there's not any time left for much of anything. Even those like so many of us who never really had much of a social life period.
     
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  14. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    My daughter was unschooled. She later suffered from depression because of divorce and was able to be prescribed antidepressants and then no longer needed them. I understand you feel bad and l hope you are able to talk to a medical professional and receive help. I understand your frustration, change will come but you need to help your doc understand what is going on. If your doctor doesn't help you, then you will need to coherently explain this to parents to get a different medical professional.
     
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  15. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    My daughter did go back into school system in HS, but in her last year she was on antidepressants for about a year.
     
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  16. Misery

    Misery Photo-Negative V.I.P Member

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    At your age, honestly, this isnt too surprising that you're having these issues.

    Now, I've been on the internet since there's BEEN an internet. I'm talking like, the REALLY early stuff that even most longtime computer users probably dont remember or didnt experience. Heck, I've been using computers since I was a kid, in the days of DOS. In all these years, I've learned alot of things.

    And the main piece of advice I can give you is... stop caring about what you see on the Net. Seriously. Comparing yourself to someone else is, frankly, a waste of time. It accomplishes nothing, is the reason. But it also can lead to attitude issues later on. You see these people often bragging about how skilled they are in whatever, and being so mean to others, and well.... you dont want to be like that, do you?

    I've seen that sort of attitude OFTEN. My main hobby is video games, and the sort that I'm best at is fighting games. Fun, but what a nasty community there is around that. So many are people who will absolutely brag about how awesome they are. Now, being honest about one's skill in something is one thing. If you're good, you're good. But "bragging" is very different. That condescending nature of it, and the purpose of putting others down while doing it... that's bragging. And most of that community is like that. The jerks seem to make a side hobby out of insulting newer players. Very sore losers too. And honestly it doesnt even matter what your skill level is, when dealing with them. I play those games at a very high skill level myself. Yet even when clearly demonstrating that, I'd still be hit with a barrage of insults because I dont play the "right" way or some gibberish like that. Or just because they felt like being jerks. And this always seemed so wrong to me. When I'm playing one of those with someone, my view is, if my opponent isnt having a good time... then neither am I, really. The games are supposed to be fun, that's the whole bloody point. But so many people are, well... remember that line associated with the Joker? "Why so serious?" That's a question that was always in my mind when dealing with those people. It shouldnt matter so much what someone's skill is... the point is to have a good time. Why couldnt they just do that, and let others have the chance to have a good time too?

    That's what's important, after all. And that's a lesson that so very, very many years on the Net had taught me long before I got into those. Your own skill level is what it is. It doesnt matter what the skill of others is. What matters is how YOU approach your own experience in your hobby or whatever. If others are being braggy? Well, that's not even worth your time to get bothered by. And besides... they may not be as skilled as you think. When someone says "I'm good at this thing", the ONLY thing that truly tells you is that they specifically said "I'm good at this thing". It doesnt guarantee that they ARE good at it. They could be lying through their teeth. And on the internet, that is very common. I often refer to the Net as "a bastion of lies". Again, this coming from so much experience with it. Dont trust the things that random idiots on the Net say to you, or the random bragging you see. Even if they show "proof"... that can be faked, after all.


    But again, there's no reason for any of that nonsense to matter to you. If your goal is to learn a language, then that is exactly what you should focus on: Learning the language. Focusing instead on the often-annoying activities of others will only slow you down, making it difficult for you to progress. Seriously. If there are people in your life that are doing that to you... just keep away from them. If people on the internet are doing it.... well, maybe it's time to not be on the Net so much.

    But also, and I know how cliched this is going to sound.... improve your attitude. The moment you tell yourself "I cant do this" is the moment you've lost the battle. That's another lesson I had to learn the hard way. I know it's difficult to change that, but it's worth doing.

    Focus on your goal, ignore idiots, and simply get things done as best you can. What you're after isnt something that can be learned quickly. It's a tough road for pretty much anyone, whether they want to admit it or not. Keep going, dont give up, and you'll get what you want.

    Yeah, you aint alone in that crap with the school.

    It aint just you. Honestly the school system as a whole is bloody awful. I spent most of my school years being constantly bullied, just because. Eventually I put a stop to it, but it required outright manipulation and control over the faculty. Which, yes, is possible to do, due to how freaking apathetic the faculty at most schools are. That I had to do ANY of that is just an example of how bloody stupid the whole thing is. And really, most schools are like that. Unpleasant places that arent even good at the one freaking thing they're supposed to do. I dunno about everyone else here, but I honestly learned next to nothing from highschool. Learned to type... that's about it. Everything else, I learned on my own outside of school. That's how bad they were at actual teaching. Just... bleh.

    I wont rant about that too much though, I've already done that elsewhere on this forum. More than once. Just know that you arent alone in your experience with school. That particular experience is in fact very common. As is the depression that can result.


    There, I'm done rambling, sorry that was so long, I'm not good at being concise.
     
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  17. Raggamuffin

    Raggamuffin Well-Known Member

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    It could be the format. Something like Reddit probably attracts a younger fan base than a typical forum.

    Ed
     
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  18. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

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    Try Quora or Reddit be aware Reddit has a scoring system vote up or down on what you said
     
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  19. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    Some people prefer to not display their age on their Profiles.
    And some people post fictional birthdates in an attempt to
    avoid being identified.
     
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  20. Butterfly88

    Butterfly88 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I'm an adult but I suggest if you want to meet more teens you should try Discord. Discord tends to draw a younger crowd and there are a lot of autism Discord servers. You can search for Discord servers here:
    DISBOARD | Public Discord Server List
     
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