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Why is having a picture of my aquarium as profile picture abnormal?

Discussion in 'Friends, Family & Social Skills' started by Dadamen, May 8, 2021.

  1. Dadamen

    Dadamen Well-Known Member

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    So, a few years ago when I was 13 (didn't know I'm autistic then) I was in one youth forum where I placed a picture of my aquarium as my profile photo. Two people there, a boy (13) and girl (14) have said it is inappropirate and that I'm stupid and showing off becuase of doing it. What do you think? Were they right and me missing social clues or were they actually stupid becuase of saying it?
     
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  2. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    I don't see why a picture of an aquarium might be inappropiate? Though that might depend on the context of the forum, and what was in the aquarium - I'm assuming that this was a regular aquarium with the normal sort of fish you usually get in an aquarium.
    More likely those kids were being deliberately stand-offish and mean, rather than you having done anything wrong. It can happen, especially when they sense that someone is different, alone or vulnerable. Like when in high school, I was told that if I wanted friends, I 'just' had to talk to people more and make an effort to be friendly. So I sat down next to a boy in class who had an empty seat next to him and said. "hi". He turned round to his mates who were sitting behind him, and said: "What's she doing talking to me?" I spoke to him politely and he had no reason to be so rude to me. He was using me to gain a few more popularity points with his mates, to show off, look how important I am, or whatever. A**hole.
     
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  3. Mary Terry

    Mary Terry Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Children can be cruel and stupid due to their immaturity. When I was in the 9th grade, the boy who sat behind me kept putting a tack in my chair every day in English class. He's quickly put it on the chair as I was sitting down. I repeated asked him not to do it but he persisted. One day I had enough and slapped his face so hard that he fell off his chair to the floor. He didn't put tacks in my chair anymore.

    Flash forward about 45 years to our class reunion. The same boy, now a middle aged man, asked me why I slapped him that day. I replied that it is obvious why I slapped him and the bigger and more important question is why HE kept putting tacks in my chair when he knew that I objected. He was always an attention-seeking brat and apparently still is.
     
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  4. disconnected

    disconnected Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    It’s absolutely not inappropriate. Lots of my peers on Facebook may have a snowboard , mountain bike or truck as an avatar and it’s perfectly normal. :)
     
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  5. ForestGumpett

    ForestGumpett Well-Known Member

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    I wouldn’t care what a 13 or 14 yo said, they are too young to know what they are talking about.

    I mean this kind and hope it comes across that way -

    (I’m blunt and not sure why, but it’s how I communicate and honestly appreciate ppl being blunt back to me as I understand better).
     
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  6. Dadamen

    Dadamen Well-Known Member

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    Great I was right and they wrong. This was a normal aquarium with 2 goldfish. Nothing specially showing off.
     
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  7. Skittlebisquit

    Skittlebisquit Keep trying to be as amazing as you really are V.I.P Member

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    Ahem

    So then there will be some sort of picture soon by your screen name....? Like whatever sort you might like....? You may change it, you know its not really a commitment.....:tongueclosed:
     
  8. Skittlebisquit

    Skittlebisquit Keep trying to be as amazing as you really are V.I.P Member

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    Ahem

    So then there will be some sort of picture soon by your screen name....? Like whatever sort you might like....? You may change it, you know its not really a commitment.....:tongueclosed:
     
  9. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    Kids at that age are sociopaths, and they're still relatively new to words so they just spit them out left and right, no aim, brain mush from all the electronics and mouth perpetually hanging open from all the times they said "dude" to their sociopathic, brain-dead comrade.
     
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  10. SusanLR

    SusanLR Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I was called names and made fun of all the time at that age with stupid remarks.
    Kids at this age it seems, have a "peck order" that they put each other in. Ranking I've also heard
    it called.

    Those that think they are smart A's and want others to look up to them are really into putting
    anyone they see as different down, and WE are different.
    Aspies doesn't seem to care for the big I, little U, syndrome. That's probably why they see
    us as different and they can make something out of nothing just to stroke their ego.

    Look at the varied icons used on this forum. Each one has a meaning to the person using it.
    And they aren't inappropriate. Don't let it bother you.
     
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  11. Barymore

    Barymore nevertheless, she persisted V.I.P Member

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    I have no idea
     
  12. Neonatal RRT

    Neonatal RRT Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Dr. Tony Attwood once said that one of the ways to identify an Aspie is that they are far more interested in things than they are with people. I can totally relate with that. I can go on vacation, take 500 photos,...5 of those photos may have people in them. I mean, why ruin a perfectly good photo by putting a person in it?:D Whereas, most of the so-called neurotypical people I know, are just the opposite. Every photo has to have a selfie, or groups of people in it. When I had the kids at home and we went on vacation, I had to give my wife and my kids each a camera,...so they can take pictures of us to prove we were even there.:D

    I understand that when you are young and are trying to sort out who you are, there are others within your circle that are going to focus upon differences, then because of their own low sense of self esteem, are going to make fun of you, tease, belittle, control, and even bully in order for them to feel better about themselves. It's like a group of puppies trying to establish a pecking order within the pack. Once you understand the behavior,...it's just sad. You have to be a bit aloof, smile like you know something they don't, and disregard the behavior.

    To each their own. You do you,...you'll be much happier if you stop worrying about what others think of you. You will develop a much stronger sense of self. I am at that age where I don't pay attention to what other people like or dislike. I am on my own path.
     
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  13. Major Tom

    Major Tom Searching for ground control... V.I.P Member

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    Lol my avatar is a hatchet, wonder what they'd think of that? Who cares what people think I say.
     
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  14. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Whatever one chooses for an avatar is just fine. -Period.

    Then again if our avatar is supposed to be indicative of our neurology, I suppose we should all display an MRI scan of our brain. Or not. :p
     
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  15. SusanLR

    SusanLR Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    @Neonatal RRT I was just thinking the same thing today with taking photographs while going through
    a shoebox full of photos.
    I see how all the photos I take when we go somewhere are of things, nature, landscapes and no people.
    If some are in them it is just by coincidence that they might be standing in the area I want a photo of.
    NTs are always in groups taking silly acting photos of themselves or other people.
    I knew it was an Aspie thing in my mind.

    Also in psychology it is written that the photos in a person's bedroom show what's important to them.
    I don't have any pictures of people in my room. Just display things like rocks and I like Egyptian
    sculptures.

    So while our avatars may show something about personality, they are all good.
     
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