Why I'm here.

[Daydreamer]

So, I've decided to make this thread in order to clarify a few things. Firstly, I am not autistic. However, I am in no way qualified to provide mentoring or advice on how to cope for those who are. This is something that I get asked about, and I'd like to make it clear that's not a service I can provide.

I started off by joining Wrong Planet. At the time, I had been using an online counselling service. I'd joined this service because I'd been struggling with certain issues. A counsellor there brought up in speculation the possibility of autism, I joined Wrong Planet as a way of gaining a sense of the community and trying to determine if the speculation was worth looking into further. Initially, I had only planned to stay there for a couple weeks but my stay has lasted much longer.

From there, I heard about this place so I decided to check it out. During the years I've spent so far on wrong planet, and my time looking into the subject, I've come to the realisation that an autism diagnosis would likely not help my situation. I don't think it's something I'll ever fully understand, but I know that I don't fully relate to the descriptions I've seen of neurotypical either. This is why I like the term Broad Autism Phenotype, it's not something I talk about outside of forums but I find it a useful term to have in these conversations.

I don't have any family members that are or have been officially on the spectrum, but I know of a few relatives that seemed suspect. So if there was some undiagnosed autism in my family, it wouldn't surprise me.

Unfortunately, I can't offer you a infallible guide on how to act smoothly in social situations since I'm not always fluent in them myself. I'm rather socially anxious and I get overwhelmed sometimes to the point of breaking down in tears. Yet I cope well most of the time, so I feel like something of a liar when I call myself typical but atypical isn't accurate either. I've wondered about the possibility of social anxiety. The best I can offer is what not to do based on mistakes I've made, and my perspective on things. I want to be a good ally to this community, regardless of if I ever so slightly sit on the spectrum or not.

 

[menander]

We welcome anyone who has, is interested in, wants to learn more about, is dating someone with, knows someone with, research, etc....austims in every form.

I have never seen anyone on here think less of people regardless. I was on WP, too, for about a day. But i find this place a lot more kind.

So we will value any thing you may like to share and am glad you're here

 

[Thinx]

I think your ideas and opinions are as valid as anyone's, really although we all often try to help others here, it's pretty hard to know whether our ideas are relevant to their experiences or situation, but generally people like to be heard and for others to give ideas. I don't think I've seen you talking down to anyone, and, self labelling is tricky, who knows what new insights might find about why we are all the way we are? Too many chocolate buttons made me an extrovert tightrope walker says gender free Aspie...

 

[Matthias]

...I feel like something of a liar when I call myself typical but atypical isn't accurate either...

I learned recently there is no such thing as typical or normal. Everyone has problems. These problems often exist on a continuum (being affected by varying degrees) as opposed to either having it or you don't. I've found that many problems common among autistics that I used to consider part of autism are also found in non-autistic people but just not as often. Everyone is unique in their own way yet we're all the same in many ways so we're all typical and atypical depending on how you look at it.

 

[Aspychata]

Labels, labels, labels. It seems this forum is giving and accepting. My search was trying to understand someone, but l ended understanding myself more. I also needed to get why l am comfortable with certain types of people who present with OCD, ADHD and so on.

 

[Judge]

Good points raised by the OP.

Social anxiety can be debilitating, whether one is Neurotypical or Autistic. Often making life on a daily basis arduous. In a general sense, being among we on the spectrum may be as close as it comes to identifying with others.

 

[Ezra]

You know who knows all about autism? Nobody.

 

[Daydreamer]

Good points raised by the OP.

Social anxiety can be debilitating, whether one is Neurotypical or Autistic. Often making life on a daily basis arduous. In a general sense, being among we on the spectrum may be as close as it comes to identifying with others.

Particularly if someone is also hypersensitive, experiences sensory overloads and hand-flaps. I think that most of my issues socially are due to underlying anxiety and that I am mostly otherwise socially skilled. Which puts me in a rather awkward position, since I'm aware that what I experience differs from many but I am still considered typical. That's how I'm read except in stressful situations. Which is why it often appears quite jarring to people when that side of me shows unless they know me quite well already.