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Why do people seem to attack me or be mean towards when I didn’t do anything?

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Julie Gross, Apr 15, 2019.

  1. Julie Gross

    Julie Gross Active Member

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    it feels like I have customers in customer service and people in my life that seem to attack me and I don’t really know why and they seem to accuse me of being upset and accuse me of being rude and mean and I don’t know where they get that from and I am feel I am being nice and they feel like they are being mistreated but I am not doing anything and people also feel like they need to mistreat me and or abuse me and I don’t know know why.

    Also I feel I am the opposite of what people accuse me of. My family is one of those people I have no one to help me and that’s why I ask people on here because I feel like no one gets that I have autism.

    Can anyone please help? I am so confused sometimes it just seems random like people accuse me out of the blue and it feels like people are crazy.
     
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  2. Shamar

    Shamar Well-Known Member

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    You need to break things down a bit. First, you are in customer service. It seems to me that being in customer service is an invitation to abuse. The customers are already angry and looking for someone to vent on. I assume you are autistic, otherwise you probably wouldn't be here. In my experience, NTs tend to sense our lack of social skills a take advantage of it. We are usually a good target for bullying, and making us feel bad make them feel good. Or at least more powerful. I don't know anything about how you relate to your family, some details might help. We can always give you moral support at least.
     
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  3. Major Tom

    Major Tom Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Customer service is a hard job, people rarely call if they are happy about something. Usually they call when they are really pissed. I wouldn't take it personally. When people are angry, they usually aren't thinking clearly.
    I don't do customer service, but have had plenty of experience dealing with angry people. I just try to not let it bother me, or they win.
     
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  4. Aspychata

    Aspychata Only you can free yourself.....

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    Sometimes people are really unhappy in their personal life, and it spills out of them. l see many woman that seem unhappy in their marriages that come into my store. Some men seem very controlling. l see the good and the bad of people. l have asked one set of men to leave because they were just abusive. It's funny, but men are the worse gender when it comes to being disrespectful. It's how they were raised, so l don't take it personally. Maybe you should
    take a step back and realize there are a lot of stressed, unhappy, sad people.
    It has nothing to do with you.
     
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2019
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  5. Crossbreed

    Crossbreed Neur-D Missionary ☝

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    Often my "neutral" face appears to NTs as being "sullen." That can trigger a bad response in some.
     
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  6. Lysander

    Lysander Well-Known Member

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    Customers are rude because they feel entitled. That feeling turns a lot of people into assholes.

    Family members are similar to customers because they know you love them no matter what (or at least that you're stuck with them), so they pull b.s.
     
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  7. Isadoorian

    Isadoorian Well Known Chat Member, Welcomer of Newcomers V.I.P Member

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    Lots of Customers tend to be rude; plus, you're dealing with the General Public to boot.

    And as Obi-Wan Kenobi would put it, "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."
     
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2019
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  8. AloneNotLonely

    AloneNotLonely Active Member

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    Do they call you Gross? Because I think I might have found the problem...

    Terribly sorry for the lame joke, it seems I am in a giggly mood today and just can't help myself.

    People in customer service (especially call centres) seem to get abused a lot. I used to know a girl online that worked at a call centre. She was definitely not the weak type, but once started crying on Skype after having a bad day at work. This was not a super good friend or something, but it just overwhelmed her I guess. So your experience does not seem out of the ordinary. A gf also told me of terrible experiences at a callcentre, but she was just laughing about all the weird dumb assholes and always had super funny stories. I guess there's 2 ways to look at it.

    The other thing is that people hate Autistics. I have always been hated, only once I started to put on my happy mask and excessive charm (when I feel like it :p ) did it stop, and people started to love me instead. Eventually people will still hate you, especially co-workers since it's impossible to work with someone while being the super happy awesome person, because co-workers will take advantage of that and as soon as you let them know you can't be messed with you will be hated and considered weird.
     
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  9. NothingToSeeHere

    NothingToSeeHere Asexuowl V.I.P Member

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    If a lot off people say that you seem upset, rude or mean, it's probably because you seem upset, rude or mean. Clearly your appearance and behaviour is being seen differently by others from how you perceive or intend it.
     
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  10. Peter Morrison

    Peter Morrison Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Without visuals and a real life example of rudeness, it's hard to find fault with what you might be doing. You can ignore the customers' attitudes. They come with the territory. For yourself, though, if your own attitude about customer service is tainted by apathy, all those signs become clear to anyone around you. It comes out in sullen facial expressions, slow movements, limited concern about your job, and poor communication. The best customer service personnel show drive, energy, and product knowledge. You don't have to interact with customers as if they are your buddies, but you do have to assist them in reaching whatever goal they have in mind. Focus on the customer's needs and take them seriously.

    There is an expectation by customers when dealing with the person who represents an entire operation. They are talking to you as the connection to solving a problem or getting satisfaction in some quest, so if you are ineffective, you are seen as worthless. We all know what that is like because we have been that customer.

    You might ask your boss or coworkers for their opinions. There is an art to customer service, and it may not come to you naturally. Whatever ASD is doing to you is your own private affair. Every day at work is a new learning opportunity. Learn what makes you a good customer service representative.
     
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