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Why are people so judgemental?

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by GrownupGirl, Jan 15, 2020 at 5:56 PM.

  1. GrownupGirl

    GrownupGirl Tempermental Artist

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    It's not just autistic people, it's anyone with a disability that's easily noticed. My father suffers from hand tremors, and today my mother told me that people have been telling right to her face "Wow your husband hit the booze hard last night, his hands are shaking so much".

    So, these people who barely even know my dad, think he's an alcoholic having the delirium tremens just because of his hand tremors! Not only that, but getting drunk is so acceptable in the society I live in that they're not even feeling bad or showing concern for him even if he was having it.

    There's no use fighting it. People are just naturally judgemental and they always will be.
     
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  2. GadAbout

    GadAbout Well-Known Member

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    Oh, I think it's worth fighting it. One of the best ways to fight a prejudiced attitude is to address it with counteracting evidence. So your mother might reply, "Oh, that's not alcohol. He has something called an essential tremor."
     
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  3. 100skerls

    100skerls Just another skerl V.I.P Member

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    I wish people would just mind their own business. To me it seems obvious that if someone is clearly struggling with something and you don't want to help in a meaningful way you should leave them alone. It's not fun to have a disability, be reminded of how apparent it is, be reminded of how little people understand it, and be reminded how little people care and want to help all in one experience.
     
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  4. GadAbout

    GadAbout Well-Known Member

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    I guess I'm desensitized to the whole disability thing, because I have a physical disability that leaves me using a mobility scooter. People see that disability and never get as far as my autism. The attitudes that people take are laughable. I'm always fighting off their awkward efforts to "help" me.
     
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  5. Wolf Prince

    Wolf Prince My future job title.

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    I took a cue from batman. Either I'm invisible or intimidating. Seems to work.
     
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  6. Yeshuasdaughter

    Yeshuasdaughter Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    It's just cos they haven't been exposed to a lot. And the only people they ever met who were like that were bad maybe.
     
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  7. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    Judgements that come from ignorance and stereotypes are the worst. People having cognitives biases or taking cognitive shortcuts, a tendency to over-generalise. It's annoying, but best to try not to take it personally and to inform them of the facts. Knowledge/awareness won't stop it, but can help.
     
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  8. clg114

    clg114 Still crazy, after all these years. Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    I am diabetic and in causes neuropathy in my feet. With the bottom of my feet numb, I lose my balance easily and stumble when I am walking. When I am in a store, I get some pretty strange looks. I have a pretty good idea what they are thinking. At least nobody has said anything, yet.
     
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  9. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I usually would correct them. Even if I didn't know the person being judged for whatever it is, I'd give a list of other possibilities instead of letting them assume the negative.
     
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  10. clg114

    clg114 Still crazy, after all these years. Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    If anyone ever said anything to me, I would politely correct them and resist the urge to tell them that I am very violent when I drink.
     
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  11. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Like change, judgement is one of those things you can count on to happen.

    I believe the trick is whether or not you allow yourself to become emotionally wound up over it.

    An opinion or comment from someone who may know little or nothing about your circumstances and history can be meaningless.
    (they don't have all of the facts)


    I insist my dog wear a muzzle for outside walking.
    People ask accusingly "Will he bite?"
    The facts are :
    Biting would be nigh on impossible whilst wearing a muzzle and it isn't humans he likes to hunt.

    They make a judgement about the dog and me,
    (what am I thinking walking a nasty dog in public?
    protect your firstborn, run for your lives !!)
    based on the muzzle and before they know anything about either of us.

    I'd be more likely to bite them than the dog would :)

    The judgement is unfair and inaccurate but it happens.
    I can choose to get into a debate over how trustworthy my dog is with the uninformed,
    or
    continue to enjoy our exercise and fresh air together.
    The choice is always my own.