Why are people obsessed with love?

[inkfingers]

I noticed that on the radio maybe 90% of the songs are about love, dating, broken relationships, etc... Why so many love songs? And why so many online dating sites and dates to proms and other romantic things?

 

[Tom]

Part might be its something many (the masses) can relate to.

 

[oregano]

Tom, I think it's more than that. Humans seem to have a built in need to "love". This is separate from reproduction, although the urge is tied up in "love" for NTs, especially females. If humans were like most of the other animals on earth, we would reproduce without having the need for an emotional connection.

Even for most of our history, love was largely separate from reproduction. Marriages were arranged by families, and the couple had to reproduce often since few babies made it to sexual maturity. Most males especially died before sexual maturity, which may explain the human tendency towards polygamy-with more females than males, polygamy was a necessity. Women had a greater need for emotional bonding with the alpha male in order to make the harem function.

Since females are greater consumers of youth music than males, the songs all talk about love. In more male dominated music genres, I'm thinking of the "country" genre in America, songs generally tend towards a more pessimistic, cynical view of love. Pop music, for example, talks about falling in love (and out of love) in far more rosy terms than country does, which tends to be more about a man picking the wrong woman who then cleans out his bank account and personal possessions in a divorce.

 

[BrokenBoy]

Cuz love is awesome.

 

[All-Rounder]

Love is indistinguishable from cocaine addiction on human brains, from an effect point of view. And people are very confused by the relationships that involve it which is explained by the fact that most songs have no idea about realistic relationship theories and studied advice and have very misleading information in their lyrics. What intrigues causes the brain to also work itself and worry over, especially if it's close to one's heart.

Another possibility is that people rather explain their emotions without actually giving a proper reaction or resolve so songs may be misleading if trusted as more than art and internal perceptions of people.

 

[Tom]

That, and songs about Gastropods don't sell as well.

 

[nowwhat]

I noticed that on the radio maybe 90% of the songs are about love, dating, broken relationships, etc... Why so many love songs? And why so many online dating sites and dates to proms and other romantic things?

Not being insulting or condescending, but have you never been in love? Powerful, perilous, like nothing else.

 

[Thinx]

A relevant quote from a psychologist Dr Emrad:


Love is the only socially acceptable psychosis...

 

[SusanLR]

It is a feel good emotion when you're in it and a hurt when it ends badly.
There are many types of love also besides romantic that we seem to need also.
I know most of the songs on the radio are about romantic love
and probably depending on your own experiences will influence what type of love music you listen to.
There are two major stations here that most people listen to or you hear it playing in restaurants, etc.
One is called The Dove. It plays the sweet, sappy type love songs.
Probably those who are in love or have had good experiences with it like that one.
Then there is The Eagle. It plays classic rock which can be about anything,(one reason I like it),
and the love songs are usually harsh, more about just sex or the negative side to love- hurt.

I made a joke once about the two stations and the type of people who listen to each.
"What becomes of the broken hearted??? They turn to The Eagle."
After a few romances turned sour I flew from the Dove to the Eagle.
...I have become comfortably numb.

 

[FreeDiver]

Sorry! I just had to do this.

 

[Misery]

Not being insulting or condescending, but have you never been in love? Powerful, perilous, like nothing else.

Yes, but that doesnt mean that every song everywhere has to be about nothing BUT that.

Hell, I've often wondered the same thing as the OP.

I've said this before elsewhere, but there seem to be three, and ONLY three, subjects that a song can be about:

1. Love
2. Relationships
3. How great some guy's girlfriend is

And that's it. That's IT. Nobody sings about things that arent those things. Hell, when I hear these, it honestly just makes the songwriters sound mildly desperate to me... like if they sing about it enough, they'll finally get a mate. Like one of those birds that doesnt shut the bloody hell up in the morning. I know that's not ACTUALLY the case (er... okay I guess I dont know that completely for sure) but that's the perception of it that I always get.

As it is, I end up avoiding music entirely. Just... bleh. BLEH. You could seriously have a "song" where the "music" is just a bunch of random kitchen utensils being thrown at a wall, with some guy screaming "ROACHES IN THE WAAAAALLLLLS!!!!" at the top of his lungs over and over for lyrics, and it'd be more appealing than the swarm of love songs to me.



Now that all being said, in an overall sense, I think this is one of those topics that some of us simply dont "get" and probably never will. Spectrum, and all, you know. Like, I've never been in love myself. Never will be. The mere concept of romantic interest in anyone is utterly baffling to me. No... "disturbing" is more the right word. Just... ugh. Just thinking about it makes me want to take a shower to clean off. Thinking about things like people kissing is even worse (I genuinely cant even look at someone who is doing that). Just... uuuuugh. I at least have to go wash my hands after typing all of this.

And I know I'm not the only one on the spectrum that doesnt "get it". Which is probably a little frustrating for those that DO get it, I imagine... er... maybe.

Where am I going with any of this? I dont know. I havent had my blasted caffeine yet.

 

[Ken S.]

This is why I like old Punk Rock and Thrash/Death Metal. Most of the songs aren't related to love.

 

[tlc]

There are a lot of songs about work. I heard once that work is the #2 subject of songs. Also it seems a lot of artists have one or more songs about their life on the road, or how they got to where they are. But I do listen to a lot of country.

 

[inkfingers]

Not being insulting or condescending, but have you never been in love? Powerful, perilous, like nothing else.

I don't know what it feels like to be in love. I love my family members and our two dogs, but that's all I know. So I don't understand why being in love is so amazing. I think I generally have a hard time making emotional connections with people, so trying to understand this particular emotion is difficult.

 

[inkfingers]

Yes, but that doesnt mean that every song everywhere has to be about nothing BUT that.

Hell, I've often wondered the same thing as the OP.

I've said this before elsewhere, but there seem to be three, and ONLY three, subjects that a song can be about:

1. Love
2. Relationships
3. How great some guy's girlfriend is

And that's it. That's IT. Nobody sings about things that arent those things. Hell, when I hear these, it honestly just makes the songwriters sound mildly desperate to me... like if they sing about it enough, they'll finally get a mate. Like one of those birds that doesnt shut the bloody hell up in the morning. I know that's not ACTUALLY the case (er... okay I guess I dont know that completely for sure) but that's the perception of it that I always get.

As it is, I end up avoiding music entirely. Just... bleh. BLEH. You could seriously have a "song" where the "music" is just a bunch of random kitchen utensils being thrown at a wall, with some guy screaming "ROACHES IN THE WAAAAALLLLLS!!!!" at the top of his lungs over and over for lyrics, and it'd be more appealing than the swarm of love songs to me.



Now that all being said, in an overall sense, I think this is one of those topics that some of us simply dont "get" and probably never will. Spectrum, and all, you know. Like, I've never been in love myself. Never will be. The mere concept of romantic interest in anyone is utterly baffling to me. No... "disturbing" is more the right word. Just... ugh. Just thinking about it makes me want to take a shower to clean off. Thinking about things like people kissing is even worse (I genuinely cant even look at someone who is doing that). Just... uuuuugh. I at least have to go wash my hands after typing all of this.

And I know I'm not the only one on the spectrum that doesnt "get it". Which is probably a little frustrating for those that DO get it, I imagine... er... maybe.

Where am I going with any of this? I dont know. I havent had my blasted caffeine yet.

Yup, I don't get it either. Also, I've heard one song that wasn't about being in love with a person. I think it was about having to put a dog down. It was really good, but sad...

 

[FreeDiver]

I think it was about having to put a dog down. It was really good, but sad...

Sounds like something that Johnny Cash would write a song about.

 

[Tom]

Yes. But he also would probably have included how cousin Cletus fell into the threshing combine and Granny drank herself to death.

 

[tlc]

Yup, I don't get it either. Also, I've heard one song that wasn't about being in love with a person. I think it was about having to put a dog down. It was really good, but sad...

Couldn't help it, the first thing that comes to mind is Casey Kasem's "Snuggles" rant from 1985. I first discovered it in 2002.

 

[tlc]

Yes. But he also would probably have included how cousin Cletus fell into the threshing combine and Granny drank herself to death.

Love his song "One Piece At A Time"

 

[oregano]

@Misery, your post made me think of a song called "Killing In The Name Of..." by Rage Against The Machine, a neo-punk rock band from the 90s. RATM's songs were all about politics, with a heavy far-left slant. In the song I mentioned they simply sung a few phrases over and over. "Those who work forces are the same that burn crosses!" (referring to cops) sung about a half dozen times, that sort of thing. And then there's Einsturzende Neubauten (sp?) a 1980s German band. They used all sorts of industrial detritus as instruments, and sang in German. EN had quite a following in the Gen X "urban revolutionary" subculture in the 90s. There were other bands in the 90s neo-punk and cyberpunk subcultures that were quite innovative. Your hypothetical song with stuff being thrown at walls sounds like something EN would do, then sing in German about roaches.