1. Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Featured Who do you turn to in times of trouble?

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by SimplyWandering, Mar 6, 2019.

  1. SimplyWandering

    SimplyWandering Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    234
    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2018
    Karma:
    +489
    When you find your self sick or in trouble who do you turn to?

    As someone with ASD i struggle sometimes... It's difficult to know when to ask for help, sometimes i feel like i am putting a burden on others and other times I feel like i should be able to do certain things for myself and not be too reliant.

    I am finding it harder and harder to find people to turn to... My mother is older and she used to help me a lot, my sibbling s have always thought i am more capable then i am.

    I feel like we should all be able to turn to someone for help without being judged or known as the whiner/complainer.
     
    • Agree Agree x 5
    • Friendly Friendly x 5
  2. Suzanne

    Suzanne Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    4,261
    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2014
    Karma:
    +7,057
    My older friend who is also of my faith.

    We mostly whatsapp.
     
    • Like Like x 3
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
  3. Bolletje

    Bolletje Overly complicated potato V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    3,918
    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2017
    Karma:
    +10,561
    My boyfriend, mostly. And sometimes my friends and family.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  4. Illkurok

    Illkurok King of Isolation

    Messages:
    103
    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2019
    Karma:
    +342
    I've had to rely on myself for help out of bad times the majority of my life. I literally don't have friends in real life that I can trust or rely on. Maybe that's my own fault for being so introverted, or it could be because I don't like to be a burden to anyone.

    If you deal with your problems on your own, you won't have to put up with someones opinion on the matter that you don't like or agree with. So, it has its upsides.
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  5. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    24,626
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2013
    Karma:
    +31,742
    No one.

    I'm on my own, for better or worse.
     
    • Agree Agree x 4
    • Friendly Friendly x 4
    • Like Like x 3
  6. BraidedPony

    BraidedPony Enjoying life and glad to be alive! V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    1,456
    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2018
    Karma:
    +4,569
    I’m on my own too. I have this forum and another one. And I have my dog.
    If I get really sick and might die I’ll call 911.
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 3
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  7. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    4,377
    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2018
    Karma:
    +9,238
    A friend. He is an angel. I call him my guardian angel. He's the best! He is my favorite! :cool:
     
    • Like Like x 5
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  8. Autistamatic

    Autistamatic He's just this guy, you know? V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    2,869
    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2018
    Karma:
    +7,671
    Since I've been with Mrs Autistamatic she's been my rock in difficult times, but before that I fended for myself most of the time. Self reliance can be hard at times, but it's worth getting good at it.
     
    • Like Like x 4
    • Agree Agree x 3
  9. Stardust Parade

    Stardust Parade Active Member

    Messages:
    113
    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2018
    Karma:
    +162
    My mom and my shrink and my best friend.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
  10. tlc

    tlc The Mackinac Bridge and U.P. is my happy place.

    Messages:
    1,502
    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2014
    Karma:
    +1,447
    Usually my mom. She's been staying with me since I got out of the hospital. She accepts whatever I do and doesn't judge me or fight with me about it. My dad is nice but often hard to deal with.
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  11. SusanLR

    SusanLR Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    3,186
    Joined:
    May 22, 2017
    Karma:
    +5,785
    My shrink.
    I have no one else to turn to.
    Sometimes I have to tell the guy I live with if the problem is obvious or need medical help.
    Can't hide it all from someone you live with.
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
  12. Major Tom

    Major Tom Searching for ground control... V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    1,635
    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2017
    Karma:
    +4,813
    Nobody to turn to here, other than my dog, which actually helps quite a bit. Also to an extent the friends I've made here.
     
    • Like Like x 3
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  13. Sarah S

    Sarah S Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,260
    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2018
    Karma:
    +1,587
    Bacikly i had to fend for my self with the exception that ALL my life i have had my DEAR mother right behind me but sadly since 8 years she have not been able to on the count of Alzemiers :tearsofjoy::tearsofjoy:. Luckily i got my VERY dear friend (older then me who i actually helped WAY back when he was close to going under him self ) that agreed to be my RL support so its him that i go to when i need someone (wich is bacikly ALL the time ) & i can honestly say that hadent it been for him i wouldn't have been able to join in here as i would have left this earth (roughly 2 years ago ) so i ow him MY LIFE and his as close to me as my own mom and dad :relaxed:,+ i do have my FEW REEL friends that always ready to listen and help when i need them (and they know im always there for them if needed :hearteyes:)
     
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2019
    • Like Like x 2
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
  14. HidinginPlainSight

    HidinginPlainSight Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    289
    Joined:
    May 14, 2018
    Karma:
    +512
    Born alone die alone here.

    It's not as bad as it sounds though. When you come to rely on yourself you force yourself to be accountable. It eliminates the need to worry about someone else and if you let yourself down you can at least try to do better next time.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Winner Winner x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  15. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

    Messages:
    4,005
    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2019
    Karma:
    +7,243
    My gorgeous handsome friend when he allows?me too.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  16. china autie

    china autie friend to dogs and frogs and cats

    Messages:
    513
    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2018
    Karma:
    +1,085
    TL/DR:
    After my husband became physically abusive, I left and was forced to reach out to others for my own safety.
    Added bonus: I found community and mask less now.
    And a feral cat story.
    ____

    Since I left my marriage when he put his hands on me for the first and last time...

    my boss, my doctor and nurses, the veterinarians and the people who work at the vets' office,

    total strangers on the street [not so much now but I was desperate and hurting and now some of those strangers are close acquaintances],

    a few homeless people and street musicians that befriended me when I first moved here,

    the young people and homeless people and poor people and others who also attend the free Food Not Bombs community dinners here,

    two friends from my old town who are not friends with my soon to be legally an ex,

    domestic violence advocate and agency,

    an informal support group for people in my age bracket who have also been Othered by society.
    ---
    [I am in addiction recovery too but interestingly enough, I remain on the periphery of recovery type groups although there are a few people there who have made it into my list of friendly acquaintances].
    ______


    Before I left my husband, I was pretty much on my own.

    I have learned to lean on others when I need to while maintaining my own sense of "I am still the one who has to do my own work" for as long as I am physically and mentally able to.

    It is called interdependence-- something I used to know the definition of but had never really experienced.

    ___

    I wish the abuse had never happened BUT I also know that the man I married never existed.
    [Who he was and who I thought he was are really different].

    ___
    One of my cats was a former feral kitten living with a bunch of other feral cats and kittens at my aunt's house. She feeds them. [I have advocated for a local Trap, Neuter, Release program for them but my aunt won't do it. She is in cognitive decline].

    One of the kittens disappeared for a few days and came back with an eye injury and bleeding from both ends. I really thought she was going to die.

    She didn't.

    But her injury allowed her to accept human contact. When she was able to walk again, she continued to allow us to pet her.

    Her eye wasn't better. I took her to the vet who fixed her and had to remove the eye. She is now an indoor cat and she is mine. She is very affectionate. She loves my older cat and the dog. They love her.

    One feral quality she retained is that she plays harder than non-ferals.

    She is a total delight.

    ___
    Much like this cat, in the midst of a severe crisis, I was forced to reach out to others for my own safety.

    The other thing is that now I mask less. I am becoming my most authentic autistic self.

    China

    PS Tennessee Williams said,
    "We are all sentenced to solitary confinement inside our own skins, for life."
     
    • Like Like x 5
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  17. tducey

    tducey Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,286
    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2018
    Karma:
    +2,094
    Mom mostly.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  18. SimplyWandering

    SimplyWandering Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    234
    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2018
    Karma:
    +489

    I don't mean to patronize you, but i find this exceedingly sad in my eyes. I used to think like this but it made me depressed if anything... There is a balance between relying on others and doing things for yourself. NOW i try my darndest to reach out to others so i feel something besides this lonely emptiness ( though i often am just as fine by myself... At least i tell myself that.)
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
  19. Paralleluniverse

    Paralleluniverse Active Member

    Messages:
    43
    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2019
    Karma:
    +65
    I feel like I have "people" but I don't feel like anyone understands me...I know I know they say that this is a typical thing that depressed people say but it's not.. And I wish people would get it, it's literally true, nobody understands me.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Winner Winner x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  20. SimplyWandering

    SimplyWandering Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    234
    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2018
    Karma:
    +489
    Me not being certain, may I ask if she is on the spectrum? My Boyfriend is not , but deals with major anxiety , so we relate.

    However even though this is the case, and there is that idea that people in relationships should take care of one another, I often feel like I need someone to talk to , who can listen an understand. I have a friendly acquaintance who has a compromised immune system and (she has 2 daughters ; 1 with Autism and 1 with Borderline/Bi P Disorder) she has been super helpful with finding who i am.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1