"Where are you from?" annoys me

[The Outsider]

One of the most common questions that will come up in small talk aside from "how are you doing?" and "how's the weather?" is the thread's name one. I don't ever recall asking someone that question myself because I simply don't care. Why is this such a common talking point for people? I mean does it really matter where I came from? This is one of the first questions asked about people, not something that comes later on as you get to know a person more. This is the sort of question that would invite further discussion or comments, things I rather not get involved with when I don't feel like talking to strangers. This is probably nitpicking but then that is par the norm for having Asperger's and talking to people isn't it?

 

[toothless]

i dont do small talk,i would find any of it annoying really as its not like i really want to know that stuff.
sometimes i talk to homeless people [the genuine ones] and ill ask them how are they [but because im bothered not because of the small talk] and have they got a bed for the night and would they like me to buy them something from the shop,i dont talk to people otherwise, unless its at my LGBT group.

i hate it when i get asked 'how are you' as i know they dont give a damn but i make sure to give them the full gory details [well they asked,didnt they?] i dont feel as much of a hatred for 'where are you from' but i rarely get asked that,and when i have the person was genuinely interested i think.

 

[paloftoon]

Where you came from can give perspective about you as a person. It can show that a person would like to know you more and cares about you at least a little bit. I think that question is much more interesting than the weather and how you are doing.

 

[xudo]

I don't do small talk, because I find it awkward and pointless. My city is pretty small, so people don't usually ask where I'm from but if they do I'm happy to tell them. So long as they don't follow up by asking what address

 

[Fullmetal]

I complimented a cute woman once. Out of nowhere she asked "Where are you from?" which confused me greatly.
I was just trying to order tacos.

 

[Judge]

That question kind of puts me on the spot. I was raised in a military family that moved everywhere from Guam to Virginia. Even picked up an accent or two in the process, further confusing people and prompting them to ask such a question.

Though the worst was one time filling out certain job applications requiring I list all the addresses I ever had...which made my head spin.

 

[midlife aspie]

My accent usually prompts that question. Too bad I can't sing.....

 

[Questella]

Idk but it's usually the first question I'm asked at work... I never even answer it right... like where am i from originally? No I don't want to go into all that, so I just answer the town in currently a resident there... then if there from around there they always want to go into the whole do you know this person? Do you know this person? Do you know this person? *headslam* then I'll say I'm from from somewhere else and I don't know anybody.

I guess that's why they do it they want to know if you know anybody they know...

In my sales training though I've learned your supposed to follow your answer with some kind of fun or interesting item about the place that's supposed to help you build rapport... I have no interesting fact, I only say it's not to far, then ask them if there from far... seems to pass okay...

 

[paloftoon]

When you're asked a small talk type question, one good way to answer is to warn the person that you like to be honest with your answers and will delve into how you really are. Ask if they are okay with that. If not, just say thank you for the greeting and move on.

 

[NB79]

aksing Where are you from to someone can get you a better picture of what to expect from the other person, also it open other 'interesting' topics for discussion, it opens your imagination to what the other person would look like etc, culture stuff, its a lot better than weather for sure.
I couldn't even chat to anyone in chats before, it costed me a lot to just say hello, but i am more open now, i attribute this to the faith, but not everyone believes.

 

[Binary_Bark]

I can try to understand why people would ask that question. I just don't get it fully. Later on as the relationship progresses, yes. It's one of those personal questions that I just don't answer. Has nothing to do with you (when I say you, I mean the hypothetical person asking the question). Or a person asks where in "insert city/town name" do you stay? Again, why do you want to know, has absolutely nothing to do with you.
I think it's more on the line of it being a sort of personal question, and don't think it's one of those we like to talk about nor answer.

Small talk and this kind of things is something I'm working on with my psychologist. It's not something I care about or enjoy doing.
You're not alone with this sentiment.

 

[Luca]

I don't like being asked that question either... because, most of the time, when someone is asking me that question they're basically insinuating "What race are you?" or "Do you speak English?" or "Are you foreign?" or "Are you an immigrant?"
Maybe that's not the case for everyone on here but generally when people ask that question around here it has to do with someone being "different"- usually because the person they're asking about is non-white, non-English-speaking, has an accent. etc.
When I mention to people who have met my parents that I am adopted, I always get kind of a "Duh, we knew that" reaction...

I use the term "racially ambiguous" about myself a lot... I am technically mixed race Hispanic, sometimes people think I'm one or the other, sometimes they just don't know... the general reaction I get is that most people think I'm Puerto Rican or Brazilian... which I am not
And for the record I do not speak Spanish or Portuguese very well, honestly

I try not to ask prying questions about people... I usually let them open up about things whenever they're comfortable and feel it's appropriate.

 

[Suzette]

Most of the time I see "Where are you from" is just an akward way to break the ice. If someone is a total stranger to you, what else have they got?
Statements like "Your shoes are cool" just get you "thanks" in return.

People will always ask boring questions looking for ANY commmon ground. But even if the question is boring, the answer doesn't have to be.

Where are you from? - Ever been to Huxapown Idahoe? Me neither! Where else haven't you been?
What do you do? - Well, avoiding chores is pretty much a full time job. What about you?

The point is that "common ground" is about talking about your experiences and opening the door to a shared experience. If you aren't having a good time it is because YOU are being boring!

 

[Soleil]

The main thing I don't like about this is that it's so vague. What do you mean, "from"? Where I was born? Where I grew up? Where I live now?

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Just say you’re from “Earth.” No one can argue with you about that answer as you aren’t wrong.