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When special interests are your only reason for living

Discussion in 'Obsessions and Interests' started by SchrodingersMeerkat, Nov 24, 2020.

  1. SchrodingersMeerkat

    SchrodingersMeerkat trash mammal

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    I don't even have an associate's degree. And it took forever to get a high school diploma because I got sick when I was supposed to graduate and my parents wouldn't help me find a GED program. I didn't graduate high school until I was 30. I'm still learning how to drive but seeing how all the driving instructors love to literally scream at me and make me shut down; then scream at me again, I'm starting to wonder that will even be possible. I do not do so well when people scream at me. I just shut down. I think I may have some form of PTSD. Traditional talk therapy doesn't work for me. No one understands how to work with autistic people. Not with my insurance anyway.
     
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  2. Sapphire K

    Sapphire K Autistic Demigirl! (She/They/It) V.I.P Member

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    Maybe being a vet isn't for you. Try finding other interests. Experiment and explore.
     
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  3. SchrodingersMeerkat

    SchrodingersMeerkat trash mammal

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    '

    It's that kind of talk from people that makes me feel suicidal. It's not helpful. I've come here seeking help not another reason to feel suicidal.
     
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  4. SchrodingersMeerkat

    SchrodingersMeerkat trash mammal

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  5. SchrodingersMeerkat

    SchrodingersMeerkat trash mammal

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    I've tried finding new special interests and just regular interest for years. Decades even. Nothing ever appealed to me as much as being a veterinarian did even though I desperately wanted to find something else that would be easier. Nothing else just clicked.
     
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  6. WolfSpirit

    WolfSpirit Not a dictionary. Or a search engine

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    I don't think he was trying to be mean, just commenting that since you've had such a hard time getting the education you have gotten, maybe you are asking too much of yourself to think you "have to" get more and go into this field? God knows we are all too hard on ourselves all too often. I know it is heartbreaking to realize a lifelong dream isn't doable, but are you just adding to your pain by pushing yourself too hard?

    Maybe something else in the same field would work better? Something that still allows for the contact with animals in a similar way, but that is more attainable? Just a thought. I know nothing about the field, but a fair amount about readjusting goals and pathways to goals.

    I know it is hard, as autistics, to switch our minds out of something once we get it set on something, and I know seeing other options and possibilities except those right in front of us is equally hard. But sometimes life makes it necessary. If we're lucky, and have a support system around us, (even if we disagree with them at times), someone or multiple ones can help us make the mental redirect.

    I hope you manage to work things out.
     
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  7. SchrodingersMeerkat

    SchrodingersMeerkat trash mammal

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    It's not that I can't, it's that no one will help. You need so many hours of experience in an actual vet's office to even be considered for vet school. No vet will so much as let me clean floors....just watch. You need so many hours of clinical experience for tech school as well.
     
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  8. Sapphire K

    Sapphire K Autistic Demigirl! (She/They/It) V.I.P Member

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    Wolf is correct. I wasn't trying to be mean. I was just saying my thoughts on the matter and giving the best advice that I could possibly articulate.

    Maybe you find yourself unable to find new interests because you are too focused on becoming a vet? Try teaching yourself new skills, such as cooking, reading, or programming or something. You needn't choose a path and stick to it forever. There are other options out there.
     
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  9. John M

    John M Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I appreciate that being a vet is your passion. Sometimes to get from A to B is an indirect route though. To be a vet you may have to first be less than a vet. Sometimes we have to use whatever stepping stones are available to get us from where we are to where we want to be. Please don't be discouraged if you have to support a vet before you become a vet. Keep true to your goal but don't be discouraged if you have to take a less direct route.
     
  10. SchrodingersMeerkat

    SchrodingersMeerkat trash mammal

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    I didn't think they were. I'm just saying I don't think that was the proper thing to say to someone who is literally considering suicide over the option of not being a vet. Especially when they've heard it all the time for decades.
     
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  11. SchrodingersMeerkat

    SchrodingersMeerkat trash mammal

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    Thank you. I WILL HAVE to take a less than traditional route. I still have to get my driver's license (Covid and weather have made it impossible for the time being. But whatever route I take, I eventually will need so many hours of clinical practice in an actual vet's office. Even before Covid every vet I asked said no. I want to do that first to see if being a vet/vet nurse/tech is something I'd actually like or not before going to school for it and getting massive debut for nothing.

    I think it might be a requirement for tech school as well. I have no issue with being a tech first but the main problem is that most vet tech programs in the US do not let you keep your credits. If you wanted to go for a bachelor degree in a few years after getting your tech degree, you'd have to start all over and get your associate degree again too.

    I've talked to several schools that offer a vet tech program online and they can't even guarantee I'd be able to keep my credits and said if the goal was to be a DVM later on in life, then don't go to a tech program unless I can find another school that can guarantee my credits I will keep. I knew two actual vet techs that went to a local college that were able to supposedly keep their credits.

    They were not nice people (they talked badly about their boss and were verbally mean to the animals when they thought no one was looking. One of the other techs quit to go work at an animal testing faculty and they openly admitted they envied him because he was going to make more money. So I don't really trust their word for anything)
     
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2021
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  12. WolfSpirit

    WolfSpirit Not a dictionary. Or a search engine

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    I've been thinking about your situation more, and about maybe a different tactic, or approach would help your mental health, if nothing else. Maybe if you could find other things that made life worth living, more as a counterbalance to your vocational frustrations, than a replacement for them. Isn't there anything else in your life that makes you happy, even for a moment? Music, TV shows, going for a walk? Petting an animal? (assuming any are available in your life). Things that help you get by moment to moment when the rest of your life is frustrating or overwhelming. You don't necessarily have to develop them as an 'interest', but what about as coping mechanisms?

    For me, as I've probably said several times on different threads by now, ;) music was my lifeline for so much of the seriously crappy years of my life. It's still my go-to for emotional regulation and so much more. There are tv shows I absolutely love watching, (new and old) and will watch repeats for relaxation or entertainment (among other reasons)., and/or look forward to new episodes of if there are any.

    Having things to look forward to in life is essential to keep us going in the hard moments. Even if they're small things. And when life is difficult, sometimes it's not about the big picture, but about the next step and the next step, the next moment, and the next and the next. Those littler things can help us be able to deal with the bigger picture and bigger tasks.
    (Look at that, I was listening all those years to the people who tried to drill this into my head after all! :p)
     
  13. Sapphire K

    Sapphire K Autistic Demigirl! (She/They/It) V.I.P Member

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    Sorry. I didn't know that what I said would have effected you in that way. I apologize if what I said hurt you, I didn't mean for it to have that effect. I really do.
     
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  14. John M

    John M Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Have you considered volunteering at an animal shelter? Usually people that volunteer tend to care more. You may meet people who are more supportive of your efforts who also have subject area knowledge that's beneficial.
     
  15. SchrodingersMeerkat

    SchrodingersMeerkat trash mammal

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    In the meantime, I'm a self employed painter and I also make stuffed animals and clothes.
     
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  16. SchrodingersMeerkat

    SchrodingersMeerkat trash mammal

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    Yes, but I don't think there is one where I live. I'd have to wait until I get my car. And honestly I am not really a dog person. Cats are nice but exotics such a snakes and lizards are more my thing.
     
  17. WolfSpirit

    WolfSpirit Not a dictionary. Or a search engine

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    You can pet reptiles too, can't you? ;) Doesn't feel the same, but I'm going to guess it probably has a similar effect if it results in a similar emotion. (totally guessing on that, as I've never actually looked into the research on the benefits of petting animals, but...)
     
  18. SchrodingersMeerkat

    SchrodingersMeerkat trash mammal

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    Yes, you can. Some of them even love and crave for it. Bearded dragons are especially friendly and affectionate. So are tegus and iguanas if treated properly. I've even heard of alligators that love to be stroked or rubbed by their zookeeper. They will only bite on purpose if they have been abused. It's not the dogs themselves I have a problem with, but their owners. A lot of dog people tend to be in your face extroverts who don't know the concept of personal space. I don't think dogs are bad or anything, it's just most of them remind me too much of people and will let people abuse them over and over without retaliating. There's a reason beagles and foxhounds are preferred as research subjects in laboratories.