When a friend cuts contact

[Primrose]

I'm feeling confused because a friend has suddenly stopped answering my messages. I don't know his reason. We were messaging daily for a few months and sometimes meeting for walks. We had talked about maybe dating one day but we both had to focus on our health for now.

He has mental health issues and I was worried for him when he didn't reply. I phoned him but he didn't answer. A week has gone by. He is active online and seems to be ok.

I miss his friendship and I don't know what went wrong.

Is it best to leave it and not contact him again unless I hear from him?

 

[RotanotNino]

Is it best to leave it and not contact him again unless I hear from him?

That seems like a reasonable response to me. If he doesn't value you enough to either stay in touch, or at least explain why not, than you shouldn't devalue yourself by trying to carry all the weight.

That ^^^ is coming from a guy that has more than once been in heart wrenching yo yo on again off again situations. Better to just rip the band aid off IMO.

 

[SimonSays]

Is it best to leave it and not contact him again unless I hear from him?

If you've already asked him why he's gone quiet or if something is wrong and he hasn't replied, and you know he's active online, then just leave it alone. He knows how to reach you if he wants to.

 

[Primrose]

If you've already asked him why he's gone quiet or if something is wrong and he hasn't replied, and you know he's active online, then just leave it alone. He knows how to reach you if he wants to.

I haven't asked him what's wrong though. I just sent ordinary messages and he didn't answer. But yes he knows where I am if he wants to contact me. He has bipolar and other issues and I read sometimes they cut contact abruptly.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

Did you ussed more than one channel? I mean, may be a possibility that he lost his cellphone and he is not recieving your messages? Just in case.

 

[Primrose]

Did you ussed more than one channel? I mean, may be a possibility that he lost his cellphone and he is not recieving your messages? Just in case.

Thanks. Yes, I did. I could see my messages were read so I know he got them.

 

[Rasputin]

I'm feeling confused because a friend has suddenly stopped answering my messages. I don't know his reason. We were messaging daily for a few months and sometimes meeting for walks. We had talked about maybe dating one day but we both had to focus on our health for now.

He has mental health issues and I was worried for him when he didn't reply. I phoned him but he didn't answer. A week has gone by. He is active online and seems to be ok.

I miss his friendship and I don't know what went wrong.

Is it best to leave it and not contact him again unless I hear from him?

Under the circumstances that you have described, you would be better off to not contact him again and move on. You may meet someone who is more caring and supportive, once you have gotten him out of your head. Also, the more confident and positive your attitude, the more likely you will catch someone else‘s attention.

 

[Slim Jim]

I think it's usually more to do with them, than you.

Or...you know, they might just have got really sick and tired of your presence in their life... That happens too.

 

[Aspychata]

Friendships are difficult to classify. If it's really been a long term friendship, maybe they need down alone time. If you only knew them for a couple months, maybe you didn't cut the mustard. Sometimes you might not respond to someone and you may just feel meh. It's nobody fault. It just happens.

 

[Fino]

Is he medicated?

 

[Primrose]

Is he medicated?

Yes, I think so. He had a breakdown last year and was hospitalised. I think he is still taking the medication.

 

[Aspergers_Aspie]

I'm confused by a friend who gets on well with me in the autism drop-ins and nothing happened but he cancelled two meet-ups with me to a museum, oh well if he suggests something I will just say sorry I cant make it.

 

[Aspergers_Aspie]

After thinking about it, maybe he does have genuine reasons for cancelling

 

[Stuttermabolur]

I know this is an old thread, but I recommend waiting for a while (maybe even a month or two), and then sending a short message mentioning that you are worried about them and hope the friendship can continue but won't be putting any pressure on them (they know how to contact you). That's what I did for a good friend of mine who it turns out was going through depression and it worked (till he explicitly ended the friendship a short while later).

From having been in a relationship with someone bipolar, I can also say that it's likely he is going through a depressive phase, in which case sending messages won't do anything or help. You'll really just have to wait. Bipolar disorder is really difficult to deal with for those who have it (obviously), but also for those who stand close to them. I'm honestly not sure whether I found it more difficult to be around her when she was in a depressive or a manic phase, especially as I knew a depressive phase was soon to follow when she was manic.

With another friend who I don't know as well, I tried contacting her a few times but she didn't respond. I was worried that she saw me as creepy (we had only known each other for a couple of months), so I didn't contact her again till half a year later when I saw that we would be in the same class. I sent her a message before class apologizing for calling her and saying that there was no reason for the calls other than to chat and stay friends. It turns out that her not answering had nothing to do with me. Her grandmother had died and when she is anxious she doesn't respond to any messages, and then she felt awkward about contacting me back after several weeks or months had passed so she never did.