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Whats the difference between masking and normal camoflauge-y behaviors?

Masking and camouflaging sound the same to me - they're deliberate acts to fit in.

I do distinguish between masking (hiding my nature) and learning (changing my nature). If I can internalize something so I do it automatically, it's learning. If I have to consciously do it every time, forever, then it's masking.

I am capable of learning and changing, though some changes have taken a long time (years!) to internalize. Some of my changes are:
  • Doing all the social things - handshakes, greetings, please, thank you, etc.
  • Putting a cheerful tone in my voice so my otherwise monotone voice isn't interpreted as hostile.
  • Responding kindly to people around me.
Some of my masking behaviors are:
  • Hiding my stims in a meeting or other serious situation (my stims always want to come back, so I have to consciously regulate it).
  • Saying just a little about my intense interests, and not saying anything more until someone asks for more details.
  • Hiding my emotions and thoughts when I recognize that I'm overtired or overwhelmed, and close to melting down.
And then there are borderline things:
  • Making regular eye contact. I do it naturally now in light conversation, but when I get to really thinking hard about something, I seem to forget it and then consciously realize I need to make more eye contact.
 
I believe "masking" is just more specific, referring to the covering of autistic traits, while what NTs do doesn't refer to anything specific.
 
It is truly subtle and I do a very bad job of it. I have very rarely been able to feel a false sense of comfort in the nt environment and mostly, ended up sobbing my heart out, for how degraded I have felt and oh, so very alone, when everyone is laughing and joking.

However, I can make a pretense of being polite ( wow, that sounds awful) and will give an example.

For 4 days, a strange couple are looking after our home, whilst we are going to a convention for my faith. I have no desire for this to take place ie strange couple in my home. But, on the day they arrive, you probably would not even guess I feel horrifically out of control. I know when it gets on top of me, because suddenly my smile is too wobbly and feels that it is cracking my face.
 

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